The Mirage in the Mirror- a daily devotional.

Posted On March 23, 2018

The following was used by permission from author Shaun Jester

The Mirage in the Mirror is a daily devotional written in 2008 by Christian Doctor Shaun Jester obstetrician and gynecologist from life experiences in residency and fresh out of residency during 2000-2006.

While the following is in more of a rough draft format rather than a polished ready to publish book- it is Shaun Jesters hope that you will look past obvious grammatical issues and instead allow the Lord to use the devotionals to be a daily blessing to you.

All Bible verses are in the New International Version.

Feel free to share/reprint this information to help others.

The Mirage in the Mirror. In the desert one sees water that doesn’t exist- that water is futile to hope in. In life the devil sends mirages to destroy esteem or to lead you to have false hope. Only Christ gives the Living Water and can help you recognize the MIRAGE IN THE MIRROR. Its my prayer at the end of one year of study, prayer, and writing letters to Jesus you will SEE.

I Corinthians 13:12
Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror, then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

Day 1… CIRCUMSTANCES

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28

9-9-04 Late. Late. Late. Event after event. The cesarean section, I was apart of, was one hour late. Once we did start in the operating room, I couldn’t seem to get the “OR” to move. Yet peace is mine. One patient left the office angry- she had waited to long. Circumstances can be frustrating if one is not careful. The above circumstances could have made me angry or if I trust the Lord I might realize if I went faster in the OR a devastating event may have occurred. Or perhaps that patient who left the office- if stayed would have been my first lawsuit. The point: don’t look at circumstances.
.
P.S. A Christian brother helped me with peace that day. Who is it that is desperately calling out to you? Who is alone- though in a crowd? I guarantee you, someone is around you that is lonely or perhaps the mirror would tell me its you.

Let try writing your first letter to Jesus… tell Him about your day
Dear Jesus…

Day 2… THERE IS NO PLACE LIKE HOME

Peace I leave with you; My peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27

9-16-04 To be Home… Peace was mine this day. I was writing up two deliveries that I had recently done and a associate told me I was home at that hospital at that practice. It hit me like a ton of bricks:
8 plus years post college study/ training. 144 hours of work in 8 days. What is it really all for. That moment I realized I had finally made it. To carry it a step further to truly be home is realizing that making it had nothing to do with it. Realizing what it means to be home is the key. To be home is to be in God’s Will – that is where peace and significance lie. That is where true appreciation exist. I am no longer with that medical practice, but I still am at home: my peace in Jesus. Are you home?

Dear Jesus…

Day 3… WHITE WASHED TOMBS

9-17-04
Lara tells of how she realizes the world is now teaching its ok to pamper yourself even at the cost of ones own child. Even a parenting magazine notes this. Example a program where you drop your child off 2* a week 5 hrs a day and call it mothers day out instead of the word “daycare”. This isn’t intended to be a criticism for the ladies out there truly raising there child. This is a warning to the ladies promoting selfishness at the cost of their own child and hiding it under society accepted programs. Men yours may be to generate the family income. Money will not buy love.

Dear Jesus

Day 4… DECEPTION

Be self -controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prows around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” I Peter 5:8

9-17-04
On t.v. last night (9-16-04) 4 different shows all used the Lord’s Name in vain. On one of the shows, the main character was a homosexual. The other was a show involving plastic surgery. I guess what is so frustrating is literally almost every show now takes the Lord’s Name in vain. Can you watch one tonight and it doesn’t? In speaking with my wife about this she said she thinks at the end of time everything will go to these extremes i.e. homosexuality, “world peace” and thus the Christians with their “oppressive rules” will be ostracized..

Think about it- already one show shows hundreds of thousands of people wanting to work for a guy to make $250,000 a year. The problem is the guy has had multiple divorces, his wife had a photo shoot for playboy, and he made millions off of others gambling. “… You will be ever hearing but never understanding; you will be ever seeing but never perceiving.” Matthew 13:14 The spiritual warfare is by a minority leading the majority. The “enemy” has used this minority to have control of most televisions, newspapers, movies and you’d think homosexuality and using God’s Name in vain, having sex outside of marriage, having “supernatural powers”, having a demonic friend and that evolution is correct is the norm. Mind boggling- “For false Christ and false prophets will appear and perform great signs and miracles to deceive even the elect-if that were possible.” Matthew 24:24

Lord may my family, friends, even enemies be given special insight to not loose the true perception of what is happening.

Dear Jesus

Day 5… DECEPTION CONTINUED

“For false Christ and false prophets will appear and perform great signs and miracles to deceive even the elect-if that were possible.” Matthew 24:24

9-21-04
I was watching a reality t.v. show where a man would give $1,000,000 to one of 16 people. The thing is he chose who would leave the show and basically made the rules as he went. It reminded me of a magic card trick I know. The way the trick works is this… if the card the magician wants the person to pick is the king of hearts. The magician starts and says pick two suits i.e. heart, diamonds, spades, etc. If the person happens to pick the right suits then the magician says to keep that suit and if not to discard. The audience member doesn’t realize that this method is used the whole time till the magician made you pick the card he has waiting for you. This reality show was the same as many are. Who they want to win will win. I praise GOD He alone is my Judge and not the world. What “card game” does the devil have you thinking your winning? Let God take over.

Dear Jesus

Day 6… HOME IMPROVEMENT

Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed. Proverbs 15:22

9-26-04
O.K. Lara(my wife) and I fancy ourselves as being able to do home improvement. Well we watch the t.v. shows at least. The truth is we were blessed to buy our first house and our first and last to this point project was putting up new shudders. No ordinary ones would do. These were ordered in special. We finally developed the correct technique only to find they were upside down. The end result- we ordered another set of shudders. A little planning would’ve saved alot of trouble. What are you jumping into that needs some prayer/ planning?

Dear Jesus

Day 7… MY REDEEMER

I know that my Redeemer lives,… Job 19:25

10-10-04
When I read fiction- normally when the person dies an angel takes the person to heaven. Yet as Christians- God promises to never leave us nor forsake us- so my guess is God Himself will take us to Heaven.

Dear Jesus…

Day 8… WHOSE FAULT IS IT ANYWAY?

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His Purpose. Romans 8:28

10-12-04
Whose fault is it?
You are not perfect and thus things happen. Is this God’s fault. So why did you get upset with Him for circumstances? Do you really grasp this? At least we know He never leaves us nor forsakes us and does work all things for the good.

Dear Jesus…

Day 9… EVER BEEN LOVED ON?

Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13

10-23-04
Some friends of ours named the Cruscos were celebrating their 23rd wedding anniversary. Of all the places they could go and all the people they could see- their desire was to come spend it with us. It is a love I barely comprehend. The Lord never ceases to Amaze me. Even more incredible the ultimate act of Love- Christ dying for us.
Share some love today.

Dear Jesus…

Day 10… AFRICA OR BUST?

In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven. Matthew 5:16

10-25-04
I bet its crossed your mind? Am I supposed to goto Africa and be a witness? Would you be more valued in God’s Eyes? Sure you could go but lets face it, what about staying here where everyone knows the Gospel but few practice it- Now they need a living example.
Shine the light

Dear Jesus…

Day 11… 10 MINUTES TO A NEW YOU.

“I am the Vine; you are the branches. I f a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from Me you can do nothing. John 15:5

10-27-04
You’ve heard the exercise videos just 10 minutes to a new improved you. But what if its true in other areas. Consider…
What good is it that you accomplished all your goals for a day if you didn’t spend 3 minutes with God, 3 minutes with your spouse, 3 minutes with each child. You say but I did. I’m not saying spend 3 minutes in their presence – I’m saying spend 3 minutes of true quality time with them. No distractions, no tv. , not thinking of work tomorrow- they are the focus. Hmm are things starting to make sense?

Dear Jesus…

Day 12… MOTHER MAY I? ENDS JUSTIFY THE MEANS?

“Everything is permissible for me”- but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is permissible for me” – but I will not be mastered by anything. I Corinthians 6:12

11-6-04
Mother may I? Ends justify the means?
Just because you can get satellite radio with 50 stations and with it the gay & lesbian station or your favorite 60,70,80,90’s station, the dance mix etc– doesn’t mean you should. What am I saying? I could go rent a NC 17 movie. I could walk out into a busy highway. I could overdose. In other words, just because the technology exists, doesn’t mean we should use it. Remember 3 second peep show via radio or tv can do more damage than a 2 hour movie.

Dear Jesus

Day 13… WHITE WASHED FENCE

Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men, because you know that the Lord will reward everyone for whatever good he does, whether he is slave or free. Ephesians 6: 7,8

11-9-04
Your great aunt maybe in the nursing home and 90 years old. Her mind perfect- her body convulsed and crippled. Its all you can do to go- you stay 5 minutes feeling pretty good about yourself. Congratulations you just tormented her with the aspect of a moment of happiness only to dash it away. If your going to do something- do it right.

Dear Jesus

how someone else was performing indecent acts! This seemed to salve my conscience enough to get over that hurdle. I was not

Day 14… GOD CAN!!!

I can do everything through Him who give me strength. Philippians 4:13

12-6-04
God will give you the strength to do whatever He calls us to do. i.e. get spiritually fed during the service even while watching the toddlers.

Dear Jesus

Day 15… FASTER THAN A SPEEDING BULLET

Immediately Jesus reached out His Hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” He said, “why did you doubt?” Matthew 14:31

How fast did GOD catch him- IMMEDIATELY!!!
And you are concerned about what?

Dear Jesus

Day 16… TO TRUST OR NOT TO TRUST?

Peace I leave with you; My peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27

12-11-04
Trust. Easily said not so easily done. But it should be. Right?
Ahh, so what is the underlying problem? Perhaps it is fear: Fear of failure. Fear of accidently lying. Confidence problem. All have the same underlying issue? Fear. Once I graduated from residency a peculiar thing happened- fear. As a resident I would do some operative procedures that I would definitely question now. Why? Now there is no attending around to back me up. Is that true? No my attending is Jesus- He never leaves us nor forsakes us. I have two pictures one that used to hang in each office. One was Jesus lifting Peter out of the water saying Yea of little faith, why did you doubt. The other is God’s Hand on the shoulder of a surgeon during surgery. God is there. He has our best interest at heart. The end result if truly are in Love with Him- confidence, trust, no fear. See how they all feed on one another?

No footholds

Dear Jesus

Day 17… IT’S NOT FAIR?

My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, You r Eyes saw my unformed bod. All the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139: 15,16

12-8-04
Why couldn’t I have been John the Baptist or one of the twelve disciples. Perhaps its not a Biblical desire you want. Maybe you wish you were a billionaire or had your best friends wife. Beware! Though the first seem like things to wish for, in the end they are all envy. The fact is if you are Unique! Don’t try to be someone else- do the role God has for you. There only will you be happy.

Dear Jesus

Day 18… FRIENDS

Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13

12-20-04
You run into two people a janitor and ob/gyn doctor. The first you pity the second you enjoy the company of. The truth I am both people Janitor at 17yr ob/gyn at 33yr. Did you capture the truth of this? Perhaps the problem is you are only friends with someone for what you can get out of them. We ate with a publisher of a newspaper whose husband was with us that is a land developer. Oh how we could use that to our advantage. WRONG. Friends- what you can do for them not the other way around.

Dear Jesus

Day 19… VICTIM

So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. John 8:36

12-27-04
An obese female sits before me in the office. Her story echoes that of many I’ve heard. Sexually abused- the true number of how often this happens is shocking. Even more sad, 20 yrs later or more, the patient is still a victim. She is obese- she doesn’t want to be pretty to prevent attack. She may not even consciously realize this. She may have chronic aches and pains. Do you grasp it!? She is still a victim 20 years later. Oh, it doesn’t have to be sexual abuse. So how about you? Right now you know what it is in your live. How about letting God really heal you so you can get on with life?

Dear Jesus

Day 20… GOD’S NAME IN VAIN- what does that mean anyway?

“You shall not misuse the Name of the LORD your God, for the LORD will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses His Name. Exodus 20 :7

1-5-05
You’ve heard the command but what does it mean. I talked with a counselor about this once. Consider marriage. The wife takes her husbands name. She represents him in all she does. Same with us we are CHRISTians. We take God’s Name in vain anytime we sin not just how we say it. Think about it.

Dear Jesus

Day 21… OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER (OCD)- underlying fear

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. I John 4:18

1-5-05
OCD is an attempt to control some portion of your life- predictably. Why?- because of stress. Any of these ring a bell. $400,000 in debt i.e. school loans, house and two cars. Or perhaps your wife is not happy about where you are living, or no friends your age at church to hang out with. Is it a lack of trust with God- and underlying fear. Let Him take over. You won’t regret it. You can’t swim if you don’t let go of the edge.

Dear Jesus

Day 22… JOINING GOD!!!

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in Me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from Me you can do nothing. John 15:5

1-5-05
To fix or to join God. In Experiencing God one is taught to join God where He is at work. That means quit trying to fix everyone around you(remember OCD two above) instead trust God relax and let each encounter be where you join God- that alone is all that matters.

Dear Jesus

Day 23… GOD CAN HANDLE IT!!!

But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans 5:8

1-20-05
As a doctor, after seeing 20 patients Ican be emotionally spent. Some doctors see 60 plus patients in a day. I can only think they probably are “numb” at the end of that day. Imagine God, after one day of so many people telling Him their needs. Some do it sincerely. Some do it abusingly. Yet, regardless, He can handle it. It is another example of Gods incredible Love for us.

Dear Jesus

Day 24… OUR REDEEMER!!!

“Who are you?” he asked. “I am your servant Ruth,” she said. “Spread the corner of your garment over me, since you are a kinsman-redeemer.” Ruth 3:9

1-21-05
Jesus is our Kinsman Redeamer- see Ruth

Dear Jesus

Day25… STAYING THE COURSE

He answered:”’Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind ‘; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” Luke 10 :27

1-22-05
Luke 10:27 Look at the commitment- 4alls

Dear Jesus

Day 26… WHAT’S YOUR MOTIVE

So wether your eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. I Corinthians 10:31

1-23-05
I had a delivery that was quick and great and the repair was easy. The neat part about it. It was the first delivery in months where I wasn’t doing it to generate money. Nor was I fearful of what if this occurs situations. It wasn’t fufilling a job requirement, It was the just the joy of being apart of helping bring a baby into the world. The family was thankful. I told them God blessed and He did. What routine thing does God want to do in a God way today?

Dear Jesus

Day 27… HOMEBOUND

Be very careful, then, how you live- not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Ephesians 5:15,16

1-23-05
I long to goto heaven. I’ve watched the end time videos. What a joy it will be. But its important not to get sidetracked and keep the focus of “waking people up” so they know GOD!!!.

Dear Jesus

Day 28… PAST PRESENT OR FUTURE

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34

1-31-05
If your like me your day is almost filled with getting to tomorrow or wishing you had done something different in the past. Well one night, 1-30-05, if even for a moment, I actually lived for that moment. I realized I have a wife, daughter, ministry, church to attend and enjoy going to it. That Sunday, not only did I enjoy a great prayer service, I also enjoy a quality movie with my wife. I lived that moment. Carpe Diem

Dear Jesus

Day 29… GETTING OFF THE FENCE

For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?”
Ester 4:14

2-3-05

Esther 4:14 a guy and the teacher at church spoke on God’s Providence. God’s Will will happen. The question is: are you going to be apart of it? Ester had a choice. Imagine if she hadn’t acted. If your on the fence, you are not in the action.

Dear Jesus

Day 30… ARE YOU LIVING?

For He says, “in the time of My favor I heard you, and in the day of salvation I helped you.” I tell you, now is the time of God’s favor, now is the day of salvation. 2 Corinthians 6:2

2-5-05
Are you living ? Not in the past. Nor the future. But now. It’s a nice place to be. One time I was finally there. I had delivered a couple of babies. I spent time with my wife and daughter. I took two youth to get candy, check into their cabin, and get them to the CYS youth conference where there we set up a World Christian Broadcasting Booth. How can you live today?

Dear Jesus

Day 31… CIRCUMSTANCES

“As surely as the LORD your God lives,” she replied, “I don’t have any bread– only a handful of flour in a jar and a little oil in a jug. I am gathering a few sticks to take home and make a meal for myself and my son, that we may eat it- an die.” Elijah said to her, “Don’t be afraid. God home and do a s you have said. But first make a small cake of bread for me from what you have and bring it to me, and then make something for yourself and your son. For this is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says: ‘ The jar of flour will not be used up and the jug of oil will not run dry until the day the LORD gives rain on the land.’” I Kings 17: 12-14

2-7-05
Doing God’s Will when it doesn’t make sense. A friend has 3 boys. I felt God telling me to give him the book by Dr. James Dobson- Bringing up Boys. I did. He took it but noted he already had it. The point is I was faithful in doing what God told me to do. The point that he has it doesn’t matter. Perhaps it reminded him to read it. Perhaps he will give the extra copy to someone who could really use it.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 32… THE SONG

So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. John 8:36

2-9-05
Shackles by Mary Mary was on the radio. It had been 5 years since I cried before the Lord To take the shackles off of me and let me dance- we left family practice. Now 5 years later and ob/gyn residency finished, God uses me. I have helped ladies with their misscariages. I have helped take care of a lady Who was practicing with an empty gun so she can get used to the feel and sound so she would get used to it to commit suicide. An by God’s Grace, I have helped bring babies into the world. I have been blessed showing God to patients. Surely God can take you and turn your life around.
Ready for your shackles to be taken off?

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 33… REAL LIVING

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. John 10:10

2-12-05
Real living is not circumstances but doing GOD’S Will. If you don’t feel like your living then maybe its because you are not in His Will. The next question is what to do if that is your prayer i.e. to do His Will and you still don’t feel your living.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 34… GOD USING CIRCUMSTANCES FOR HIS GLORY

Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Philippians 2:5

2-14-05
A lady post surgery had a wound opening. She came to the ER with spotting from her surgery site. Monsels (a liquid bandaid) was placed and we prayed. A pregnant lady was tired of being pregnant and desperately wanted to be delivered. Her husband concured. Because of this they went to Labor & Delivery. The husband upset the nurse to the point he had to be escorted by security. Reassurance was given that the pregnancy was fine and he apologized to the nurse, thanked me for checking out the baby in utero and apologized for possibly disturbing me at church. He then said he and his wife were thinking about going to church again. He explained what kind of church he was raised in. I invited hime to church. What opportunities is God opening up for you today?

(AW)…

Day 35… GOING DEEPER

Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13

2-17-05
The deeper Love with Christ doesn’t require all the glitz/signs/wonders. Think about when you started dating. Now consider 20 yrs later i.e. for instance if ones wife is on chemo- the love for your wife on that day of chemo is profoundly deep
Christ dying- the deepest

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 35… FAITH OF A CHILD

Jesus said,”let the little children come to Me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” Matthew 19:14

2-21-05
I taught one sunday the 4,5,6th grade sunday school class- that no matter what the talent is you can use it. May I grasp the lesson.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 36… WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU MADE LITTLE MONEY BUT YOU DID GOD’S WILL? REJOICE

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Philippians 4:4

2-23-05
As a resident…
One such day a tubal I wasn’t comfortable doing- canceled, a vaginal delivery did well and was discharged, after discussion a lady chose not to have an IUD (form of birth control that is an abortifactant), I scheduled an induction (peace of mind), met on disability insurance, a 16 yr old and I had a serious discussion about the dangers of premarital sex. I was done in the office at 4 and had extra time with my wife and daughter. I read to Grace about THE LORD and Lara Grace and I walked the block and had pizza buffet for dinner. Summary- little money but emotional treasure.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 37… PRICELESS

“Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it. Matthew 13: 45,46

2-26-05
This was not one of the think abouts from my Love Letters to Jesus but was in a letter to Jesus- its called priceless- my daughter just wanted to be held a few minutes ago. Now my cat rat just wants to be rubbed some.

What in your life is right before your eyes that is truly priceless?

Dear Jesus

(AW)….

Day 38…THE GUARDIAN–YOU!!!

“Because he loves Me,” says the LORD, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges My Name. Psalm 91:14

3-1-5
God guards you. Have you guarded God/Jesus today? Seriously- protect His Will. His Name. You really can do this

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 39… DO YOU WANT TO HAVE SEX?

My lover is mine and I am his; he browses among the lilies. Song of Songs 2:16

3-3-05 Do you want to have sex? Women don’t need to ask their spouse this. If the lady ask this, most likely she doesn’t understand her mate or doesn’t truly want intercourse herself. Simply engage your spouse. Even if the answer was no- he will quickly change it to yes. I realize that though this is true 99% of the time it is not always. For you- premarital affair is not the answer EVER.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 40… THE ONLY WAY!!!

If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. I Corinthians 13:3

3-5-06
1 Corinthians 13:3— Some religions do this yet all their “good works” will give them nothing- JESUS is the ONLY WAY.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 41… DOING GOD FAVORS?

Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had borne him no children. But she had an Egyptian maidservant named Hagar; so she said to Abram, “The LORD has kept me from having children. Go, sleep with my maidservant’ perhaps I can build a family through her. Abram agreed to what Sarai said. Genesis 16: 1,2

3-6-05

Big Problem that literally divides entire nations today from this one act above. DO IT GOD’S WAY!!! God did allow Sarai to have a child Isaac. If only she had waited on God. The whole Muslim religion would likely not exist.
My Goal:
I dont’ want to do a Abraham/maid servant/ Ishmael i.e. do You a “favor” yet I don’t want to be like the person in the joke who aske why you didn’t help save him in the flood yet You had sent a car, boat and helicopter.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 42…SHINE

In the same way, let your light shine before men, that thy may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven. Matthew 5:16

3-17-05
We went to Disney World and stayed in the 101 dalmation hotel. On the wall is a light that looks like a theater popcorn box. When the light is turned on all you can see is the white light. The same is like Christ in us. No one should see us anymore only GOD!

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 43…THE KEY
And my God will meet all your needs according to His Glorious Riches in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19

3-19-05
To truly seek Jesus is the key. But what about my health, dental, life, disability, and retirement account? Think carefully on what the balance is. Invest in people, self , ideas. One idea may fund many missionaries. I guess the question is if God blesses you with the idea and money followed would you really use it on the missionaries. I sometimes think yes but a simple trip to Disney land standing in the lines and seeing how frustrated I became shows me the selfishness that needs to be dealt with.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 44… THE PAWN

“Then he said, ‘This is what I’;; do. I will tear down my barns and build bigger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. And I’ll say to myself,”You have plenty of good things laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink and be merry.”’ “But God said to him, ‘You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?’ Luke 12: 18-20

3-28-05
Terry Shiavo- a pawn- do people really care about her or their own desires? This reminds me of Paul in front of the counsel with the Pharisees and Sadducees (the Sadducees did not believe in a resurrection) and used Paul to debate the resurrection. These same Pharisees just moments before, who wanted Paul punished, now were defending him.

Really think about this? Do you really care about the person?

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 45…ALL SIN COST- ALWAYS

But He was pierced for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon Him, and by His wounds we are healed. We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; and the LORD has laid on Him the iniquity of us all. Isaiah 53:5,6

3-29-05
If you take God’s commandments and look at them solely from a safety standpoint one will realize the Love God really has for us. A true story: A patient is pregnant and unmarried. She has herpes positive on blood work from an event two years prior and when her partner finds this fact out he tells her he cheated on her a week before. Do you think a few months earlier this was her plan? What if she’d followed God’s commandments? Was her fun stifled by the commandments or by the fruit she reaped? Really consider this. No sin has no consequences yet Jesus paid for them all.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 46…PRIORITIES

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Philippians 2:3

4-2-05
Learning each others love languages (see book 5 love languages). For more than a month we (my wife and I) had been trying to capture almost daily what thing that day the other person did that we love ( no two days aloud to be a copy.) The day before I had written this to the Great Lord. I was confident Lara would pick my hard work instead of being there till 1 p.m. I was there till 4PM- thus clearly providing for the family. Instead, she said I took time to look at Grace’s new outfits. Talk about totally low on my priority list (of course not Grace i.e. work etc. but looking at the clothes). The point is it was my wife’s priority.

Whats God’s priority for you you need to align yourself with HIM on?

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 47…ALL SIN COST ALWAYS – PART 2

He Himself bore our sins in His Body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by His Wounds you have been healed. 1Peter 2: 24

4–2-05
One never really gets away with sin. In the doctors office, I’ve seen many anguish. I.e. loosing the boyfriend she gave even her body to, discovery of a STD, etc. For years I believed otherwise, but truly one never truly gets away with any sin, It always cost- always!!!. Think and you will realize this is true. The “FUN” in the end is never worth the COST. NEVER

Dear JESUS

(AW)…

Day 48…TAKING IT FOR GRANTED?

Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. James 4:14

4-5-05
The current job I was in, was clearly not working out. For financial purposes, we had decided on a momentary fill in job, but would need to live apart. We ultimately lived apart 4 months and 2 days before we were able to close on another house with a better job, better location “the jewel.” But, during that 4 months, loneliness was there. Let me tell you, I appreciate this now. The point is this, 10 days before I left the old job, I had already noticed I was missing my wife and daughter. Yet, I still lived with them. Its incredible how some things are taken for granted till one is about to lose them. What did you need to appreciate before it is gone?

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 49…WHAT DO THEY BELIEVE?

“Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves. By Their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thorn bushes, or figs from thistles? Matthew 7: 15,16

4-5-05

Have you ever lived where a politician came knocking at your door asking for a vote? Have you been bold enough to ask that person their spiritual belief? You should. Don’t let them lead you in a position if they don’t back you.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 50…LOST?

Therefore, I urge you brothers, in view of God’s Mercy to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God- this is your spiritual act of worship. Romans 12:1

4-10-05
When all is lost- it reminds you of your true purpose/goal in this life

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 51 WHO ARE YOU?

Jesus replied:”’Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and iwth all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘ Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” Matthew 22: 37-40

4-10-05
Your child is literally apart of you. A step further after the marriage covenant- your wife is you. Get it !!!- Don’t hurt yourself. No cheating on your wife or your cheating yourself. No to much time at work and neglecting your child or your neglecting yourself. How about your Christian family or your Heavenly Father. Lets put it this way, my wife didn’t like Mexican food- we got married and boom she did. Why God spliced us..

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 52 TIME

He said to me:”It is done. I am the Alpha and the omega, the Beginning and the End. To him who is thirsty I will give to drink without cost from the spring of the water of life. Revelation 21:6

4-10-05
A thought- as we grow older it seems time speeds up- so if always been i.e. GOD then time for God is instantaneous or not existent

Claimed Psalm 119:39

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 53…INDIALING

The LORD has heard my cry for mercy; the LORD accepts my prayer. Psalm 6: 9

4-21-05
Lara and I have new cell phones with indialing i.e. unlimited call anytime anywhere(almost in U.S.) What a blessing especially now that we are living apart for job purposes (and did for 4months). How much more incredible is prayer. Paid in full by you. Anytime anywhere. Amazing you are. Your never leave us nor forsake us. You Never cease to Amaze me- may I not be calloused.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 54… HORSESHOES

Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ. I Corinthians 11:1

4-22-05
I throw horseshoes unlike many yet it is incredibly effective. Where did I get the technique? My dad does it that way. In our lives, what we do may be awkward to observers. Yet, they realize, it is soul satisfying. Why?- We show them Daddy (The TRUE MESSIAH.).

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 55… DOING THE IMPOSSIBLE: POSSIBLE!!!

Immediately Jesus reached out His Hand and caught Him. “You of little faith,” He said, “why did you doubt?” Matthew 14:31

4-23-05
I remember in medical school I was about the 50% in the class. I didn’t have faith to pursue ob/gyn or surgery residency in a D.O. program let alone and M.D. program. That would be something maybe for the valedictorian. After 8 months of family practice- remediation for part of that and being asked to remediate the year, I certainly couldn’t get into a M.D. specialty program. I never took the M.D. test the U.S.M.L.E. I took the D.O. Comlex. Yet, God is in the miracle business. GOD put me in 12 days from the time I left family practice into an M.D. ob/gyn program. By the end I served as the administrative chief resident, passed the written boars and am oral board certified to take December of 2006. The point- God can do the impossible. Fear prevents it. I had nothing to lose after leaving family practice. What does God want to do in your life?

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 66… GOD’S LOVE

“For God so Loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

4-23-05
Mom broke her foot and it wasn’t healing after several weeks. In spite of this, she insisted on making me chicken and dumplings and chocolate pies. She cried doing it she hurt so badly. She did it out of Love- I didn’t want her to. But, I understood.
JESUS IS THE ONLY WAY to JEHOVAH. The emotions I felt for my mom, should apply 1000 plus fold for God. God died for me because HE LOVE me and you. It makes me sad. But, like my mom cooking for me, I understood. I know there is no other way. So what do I gladly do? I give my life in service back to Him.
Anything you are taking for granted? God’s Love?

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 67… “WHERE THE BEEF?”

Jesus answered, “I am the Way and the Truth and the Life. No on comes to the Father except through Me.
John 14:6

5-5-05
At the Alliance Church in Coudersport, P.A. I believe it was the preacher who said everyone needs something- we just know where to go. JESUS IS THE ANSWER. TELL SOMEONE!

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 68… INDEPENDENT?

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought lik a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 1 Corinthian 13:11

5-7-05
As I grow stronger in You and get older ”smarter,” I realize I am more dependent on You now than ever before. I remember a time in my mind I thought: I’ve grown- I have it from here God but I will just say I still need You. I was out of my mind. To truly believe that is to not understand hardly at all.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 69… ARE WE THERE YET?

What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul? Mark 8:36

5-9-05
The only way to know if you are progressing forward is to have the correct endpoint. In life, one can do many things- watch t.v. etc. But, only the correct endpoint will have accomplished God’s Will. When someone ask how are you?- the only way to know is to have the correct endpoints.

Dear JESUS

(AW)…

Day 70… Carpe Diem

Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” So we say with confidence, “The Lord is my Helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?” Hebrews 13:5,6

5-9-05
The future: its odd wondering what is going to happen- why I am here? More and more I’m realizing one must act if he is to do something. For instance, for a couple of months I’ve wanted to get the youth a book. All I have to do is get on the computer and buy it. Dad may I fire up and start acting with faith.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 71…

“Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves. Matthew 7:15

5-10-05
A preacher prophesied me being there long term rather than in a place like Dallas and revival would come from me and I would be financially risk(*???). I asked for reaffirmation to You. Yet, it didn’t happen. So is theat preacher prophesy to be treated as You told Peter to “Get behind me Satan” or is the prophesy true. I never realized how easy it would be to “control” people who believed in prophesy and reel them into doing what that person wants them to do rather than what God. How? By appealing to their emotions and fear of the person “falling out of Your Will” since the person said this is Your Will in the prophecy.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 72… JUNGLE SAVVY

“I am the Vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in Me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from Me you can do nothing. John 15:5

5-27-05
I remember thinking after residency or whatever, I had made it. But, now I realize, I didn’t make anything. The only way to survive the “jungle” is a continuous dependence on You. If even part of one believes different, he has already been deceived and on the road for failure. Dad: open our eyes so we can see the truth of our total dependence on You no matter how smart, how successful, how wealthy.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 73… NOT GOING DOWN WITH THE SHIP

But now I urge you to keep up your courage, because not one of you will be lost; only the ship will be destroyed. Acts 27:22

5-27-05
Acts 27:22 What ship do you need destroyed to get on with your life?

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 74… ARE YOU IN JAIL OR THE DESERT?

Who shall separate us from the Love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? Romans 8:35

6-1-05
If my Coudersport experience (working a job hundreds of miles away from my wife to have a paycheck) is me in “jail” like Joseph awaiting the correct time fine. If its me in the desert like the Israelites without faith to get into the promise land: always wanting to go back to Egypt: not fine. Please Dad Your Peace. May today be beyond incredible.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 75…

“I am the Vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in Me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from Me you can do nothing. John 15:5

6-1-05
God allowed me t be chief resident- that looks great on the resume. Yet being chief resident better not be what I put my hope in when it comes time to get a job. God alone is the Provider. Really ponder this Truth. Beware of self competence only GOD can truly provide.

Claimed I Samuel 16:13 (6-2-05)

Asside project: see Power for Living this date 6-10-05- judgement day will hold many surprises. How much time do we really waste No sin goes unpunished.

(AW)…

Day 76… THE BIG 3

Immediately Jesus reached out His Hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” He said, “why did you doubt?” Matthew 14:31

6-11-05
Father, please, I want out of the desert/ out of the whale.
THE BIG 3: May I have faith to goto Ninevah Jonah 1:2
rebuild torn down walls Nehemiah 1 and 6:15
and enter the promise land. Numbers 13:30

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 77… NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. Yet when He heard that Lazarus was sick, He stayed where He was two more days. John 11:5,6

6-12-05
Saying NO!!! Whew I don’t know about you but this is a hard one for me. When I was looking for the right job I would talk with various places on their opportunities. I didn’t like to have to tell the person no. I didn’t want to hurt their feelings etc. The truth is if they are not the place God has for me then by going I would wind up hurting them much more than simply telling them NO!!!
Ponder the verse above. Why did Jesus wait?
What do you need to say no to today?

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 78… I HAVE A SECRET

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. Philippians 4:12

6-12-05
Philippians 4:12 You’ve probably heard it read many times or read it yourself but glazed over it’s meaning: Do you know the “secret?”

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 79… FRIENDS ARE FRIENDS FOREVER?

A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24

6-13-05
I long to really worship You. I long to have friends who invest the time to really know how I’m doing. Perhaps no one taking the time is my fault?. In residency ,being so busy, I quit being a friend. Being a friend doesn’t take but a phone call or drop a line. Who do you need to reestablish the tie too?

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 80… SUCCESS

That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil- this is the gift of God. Ecclesiastes 3:13

6-14-05
It was time for the residents to graduate the year after my graduating year. I was embarrassed to go. You provided me with an interview instead. In thinking about it though, why be embarrassed. What is true success. No, I don’t have a “permanent job” (at the time of 6-14-05) but I’m physically working out, mentally working out, writing this, reading for fun, keeping the t.v. off day 4. I’m praying almost every night with my parents who before I wouldn’t even talk with but maybe once every two plus weeks. My wife and I are talking again. So all the above vs having a steady job. Hmm, actually the job is steady and perfectly orchestrated by You for this phase of my life. Priorities/ circumstances- may we always see with Your Eyes.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 81… TAKE THE TIME

6-18-05
A patient had a history of being treated over the phone for yeast. The patient called back now complaining of a yellow discharge. A “no brainer”- likely a simple bacterial infection. However, the patient insisted on being seen. How dare she. I’m busy!!! I should’ve realized something was up. It wasn’t until the visit I asked her concern of sexually transmitted disease. Yes 1 time concern. She wanted to explain. She is separated. Her kids were visiting there dad and not expected back for an hour. Her landlord had given her money to get the boys bikes. Well he wanted some compensation for the money etc and went on to rape her. She didn’t report it because the landlord’s brother is a cop.
The short is this visit was a great opportunity to minister to her needs and tell about the Lord. I almost missed it.

The sad part is, I think she believes she deserved it and can’t do better. May she see her value in YOU!!!

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 82… INTERESTED?

It was revealed to them that they were not serving themselves but you, when they spoke of the things that have now been told you by those who have preached the Gospel to you by the Holy Spirit sent from heaven. Even angels long to look into these things.

6-20-05
1 Peter 1:12 are you interested?

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 83… NO LAWS DOES NOT EQUAL ANARCHY

Though I am free and belong to no man, I make myself a salve to everyone, to win as many as possible. To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law(though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God’s law bu am under Christ’s law), so as to win those not having the law.
I Corinthians 9:19-21

7-3-05
1 Corinthians 9:19-21 especially 21. No law. Yet, we are to do Christ law. So how no law? Grasp this?

Dear Jesus

Day 84… THE SACRIFICE

“For God so Loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

7-5-05
Flying home yesterday, I saw a girl holding a sign of welcome home daddy. Several people were wearing their desert combat camouflage. Some appeared to be arriving while others leaving. A few were on my plane. I watched at least two ladies tear filled eyes as their men boarded the plane. The fourth of July literally and they were flying away. On board the plane one of the men explained their destination: Iraq. I was upset about leaving my wife for 3 weeks- Humbling. More than that as I watched t.v.- fancy fireworks/ entertainment in celebration of the fourth of July, I couldn’t help but wonder if people really get the true meaning of the 4th of July. If they really care of the tremendous sacrifice these couples made for them THAT VERY DAY. They probably didn’t even know. The same is true for Christ. People out living up their”freedom” forgetting the cost. Please reactivate us into active duty God. May we do Your Will.

Dear Jesus.

(AW)…

Day 85… BE STILL

Then the Word of the LORD came to Samuel: “I am grieved that I have made Saul king, because he has turned away from Me and has not carried out My instructions.” Samuel was troubled, and he cried out to the LORD all that night. I Samuel 15:11

7-5-05
Every decision matters
Taking a job your not supposed to may take a year plus to recover. Suicide attempt – may be no recovery. Be still. Wait on God. However much time it takes- it will be better than anytime in the “dessert.”

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 86… IT IS ALL GOOD

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. I John 4:18

7-9-05
No fear. No worry. No doubt. God really does have things under control!
Work was something i.e. 8:00 A.M. to 11:40 P.M. then 2:45 A.M. to 3:25 A.M. the following occured: two people discharged status post delivery, two triages to assess peoples problems, a lady 32 weeks pregnant found to be in preterm labor, a lady 16 day post hysterectomy by a different doctor came into the office bleeding with pain who was taken to the operating room, a lady 39 weeks pregnant whose fluid around the baby was falling thus induced and delivered and a 20 week pregnant lady who was bleeding who was stabilized. The above was my hardest day at Charles Cole Memorial Hospital from a work standpoint. When I spoke with Lara, she said she was sorry today was so difficult and when I explained my concern on the above and concern of how it didn’t fit well with the oral boards, she reminded me perfect love cast out all fear.
A nurse reminded me You are not the author of confusion.
P.S. year is 2007 the oral boards went fine and I am now Ob/Gyn Board certified

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 87… LIFESTYLE EVANGELISM

Now to each one the manifestation fo the Spirit is given for the common good. To one there is given through the Spirit the message of wisdom, to another the message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit, to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit, to another miraculous powers, to another prophecy, to another distinguishing between spirits, to another speaking in different kinds of tongues, and to still another the interpretation of tongues. I Corinthians 12:7-10

7-9-05
Changing concepts of what I used to believe. To be the ultimate Christian, I used to think going from place to place to touch lives was better than settling into a house etc. Now, I realize lifestyle evangelism is critical to really touching the average person. The house I once depised having may, in fact, be God’s Perfect Will for my life. How about that “non sucessful job in the eyes of the world?” You are Awesome God!

Think on this.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 88… TRUE HOPE

I can do everything through Him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13

7-9-05
True Hope
To really get into praise lead it.
So how do you reach the following goals?
Goal to get into the promise land, to rebuild the walls, to really walk on water.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 89… SIGNS OF THE END OF TIMES?

You will hear of wars and rumors of wars, but see to it that you are not alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come. Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places. All these are the beginning of birth pains. Matthew 24:6-8

7-13-05
Like a lady in labor – so are the signs at the end of the times per YOU. As I think over the last 20 years it is incredible how much has changed. With the internet, instant porno and gambling some in the form of pop ups even if one doesn’t want it. T.V. saying Your Name in vain with almost every t.v. show and now there is hardly any religious debates because ”everybody is right.” The gay t.v. or the gay radio station by satellite. Just this week multi-acre wildfire and near Florida a hurricane. I believe this past month an earthquake near California, Iraq war, terrorist attack bus/subway in London. As a ob/gyn doctor I’ve seen labor many times- surely the frequency, intensity, duration of events (contractions) are occurring. The point is we will have a baby (end of times) soon.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 89… SUPERNATURAL

Jesus answered, “I am the Way and the Truth and the Life.” No one comes to the Father except through Me. John 14:6

7-13-05
If things are really bad don’t you pray for God’s Supernatural Help? Yet, all of God’s Help Is Supernatural. Thus when Moses asked Your Name-response- I AM.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 90… TRUE HEALING

Jesus said to her, “I Am the Resurrection and the Life. He who believes in Me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in Me will never die. Do you believe this?” John 11:25,26

7-18-05
Even though I’m 12 hrs from wife and many more from parents, I’m closer to them now than 3 months ago. I.e. Thank You for caring enough for me to do the real healing : working out physically, continuing medical education, studying for oral boards, obtaining my Texas license to practice medicine , understanding hospital bylaws/politics, healing the past, restoring relationship with parents and sister, and old friends, not taking wife for granted , helping me learn how to initiate friendships, really worshiping You, enjoying a prayer believing church again.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 91… HELPING?

“Everything is permissible” -but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is permissible”- but not everything is constructive. Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others.
I Corinthians 10: 23,24

7-20-05
In the office, I sat down with Nancy my secretary and Deanae my medical helper. Nancy basically asked me to let her do her job and Denae hers. I was answering phone calls, calling in scripts, and helping schedule surgeries. Instead of being helpful, it was taken as an offense.
Perhaps in fact I was looking for my own good and not to the good of others?

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 92… WARNING WARNING WARNING

If anyone comes to you and does not bring this teaching, do not take him into your house or welcome him. Anyone who welcomes him shares in his wicked work. 2 John 10,11

7-20-05
2 John 10: is this movies, t.v.? WARNING WARNING WARNING

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 93… CALLOUSED SPIRITUALLY BLIND?

Another time He went into the synagogue, and a man with a shriveled hand was there. Some of them were looking for a reason to accuse Jesus, so they watched Him closely to see if He would heal him on the Sabbath. Jesus said to the man with the shriveled hand, ”Stand up in front of everyone.” Then Jesus asked them, “Which is lawful on the Sabbath: to do good or to do evil, to save life or to kill?” But they remained silent. He looked around at them in anger and , deeply distressed at their stubborn hearts, said to the man, ”Stretch out your hand.” He stretched it out and his hand was completely restored. Then the Pharisees went out and began to plot with the Herodians how they might kill Jesus. Mark 3: 1-6

7-20-05
I normally don’t write at night- my heart is heavy as an approximately 18year old female is considering having an abortion. I’m to try and talk her out of it when she returns my call. Its so disheartening. Yet, I realize I’m callous. How much more my heart should anguish for the lost who are literally spiritually “killing themselves” and going to wind up in Hell.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 94… DANGER DANGER DANGER

“For false Christ and false prophets will appear and perform great signs and miracles to deceive even the elect-if that were possible.” Matthew 24:24

7-22-05
The dangers of a faulty belief system may allow you to believe its ok to kill your own child. Why would it bother you to have an abortion if you believe the child will just be reincarnated etc.

An 18year old female I spoke with on why not to abort her 11 week child said her and the boyfriend had split up and his parents would want the child if she adopted. They were Christians and abortion and Christianity did not mix. She wanted to kill her child believing it would go back up “ there” and would get to come back down at another time. I told her lovingly I didn’t believe they get to come down a second time and told her about John Midturi my roomate in part of medical school who was also in medical school (now serving in Africa helping with aids epidimic) whose mom was told while she carried him that she needed an abortion. I explained to the patient the baby had a heart beat present and legs and was at 11 weeks along and I believed giving the gift of life to her baby is what the baby would want. Even Roe of Roe vs Wade came out with a book (on becoming a Christian)

Claim Joshua 24

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 95… HYPNOSIS and PROPHECIES
Until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ. Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. Ephesians 4: 13,14

7-26-05
Hypnosis- modern day prophetic word from false prophet

Hypnosis: I used to do it- bad idea. It isn’t anything more than allowing oneself to believe. If one does allow the message to infiltrate the danger comes. If the “devil or demons” gets a foothold- possession or belief in past life can easily can occur. I never would allow this you might say. Oh No!- What about prophetic messages in the church? If it is not real the “message” can have a “hypnotizing” power on you. Why? Because you want so bad to believe the message. Again, the person may not be a true prophet-even if he is the pastor etc. Warning warning warning. (Are the prophecies ever bad? If they are not then they are probably not real. REALLY THINK ABOUT THIS. Are the prophecies spoken in old English? Then they probably are not real – why would they be in old English? REALLY THINK ABOUT THIS?

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 96… CARTOONS

“Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves. Matthew 7:15

7-31-05
Cartoons: I love em. Even at 33 yr of age some of them still really catch my eye. But if I break down the storyline I could be in for a big shock. Desensitization to the enemy. Pick a cartoon- does it teach you to first (duel)? Does it use magical powers (Egypt or other)? Does it make fairies, witches, supernatural beings, dragons- your friend? BEWARE

Dear JESUS

(AW)…

Day 97… LOST?
“I am the Vine; you are the branches. I f a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from Me you can do nothing. John 15:5

7-31-05
Have you gone on many trips?- did you wing it or use a map? Preplanning can save heartache. What about traveling somewhere you haven’t been (no gps, no map, no stopping for directions?) Crazy not too! How about for destination eternity with Jesus? Are you: no church, no Bible, no leaning on Christians friends? Yet, you wonder why God is letting all this “bad stuff happen to you?”. Guess what you are doing the “driving” and not using the map!!!

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 98… RELIGION OR RELATIONSHIP

For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, whey will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. They will turn their ears away from the Truth and turn aside to myths. 2 Timothy 4: 3,4

8-1-05
The preacher at church yesterday was watching a t.v. program that asked if religion is needed in the U.S. or is it the cause of problems. Certainly looking at 9-11 tragedy it was a cause of problems. The. real problem is false religion i.e. muslim. So yes, false religion is not needed. Christianity is!!!

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 99… INDEBTED

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s Mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God- this is your spiritual act of worship. Romans 12:1

8-5-05
I’m reminded You died for me and I’m certainly not worthy. Yet I ask and ask for stuff when I don’t deserve it. And the key is my attitude in asking. So many today believe they are “owed” something from You. May our eyes be open- we owe all to You. You owe us nothing- not even an explanation.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 100… BE BOLD YOUR LOVED

“Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you the, though you are evil know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him! Luke 11: 11-13

8-13-05
Boldness of a cat- if it wants rubbed or to rest, it does. Any cat lover knows, they won’t turn the cat away even if it is “bad.” How much more our Dad who Loves us.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 101… LITTLE LEAGUE WORLD SERIES

Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the Name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”
Matthew 28: 19-20

8-21-05
The little league world series was on t.v. the other day. It actually was in PA. Imagine if Bibles had been handed out to every team. Whew Bibles could have gone back to places all over the world just from that one event.
Dare to Dream

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 102… LABOR DAY

While people are saying, “Peace and safety,” destruction will come on them suddenly, as labor pains on a pregnant woman, and they will not escape.
1 Thessalonians 5:3

8-26-05
As an ob/gyn I’ve seen multiple deliveries. One can walk in a room and normally tell if the lady is in labor. Once in labor the cervix dilates to 10 centimeters and then the next stage of labor begins i.e. the pushing.
As far as the world is concerned- there is no question the contractions are getting more frequent more intense and lasting longer. I wonder when the worlds next stage of labor will be- the “cervix will be 10 soon!”

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 103… PARTY TIME

“But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found. ‘ So they began to celebrate.
Luke 15:22-24

8-27-05
The ultimate safe party- Holy City- Gates never closed
Always light (no night)
God is the Light
Nothing impure enters
God is the Temple : Revelations 21

Dear Jesus

(AW)

Day 104… NEW ORLEANS

Listen, I tell you a mystery: We will not all sleep, but we will all be change- in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed. I Corinthians 15:51,52

9-2-05 New Orleans on the news is mind boggling. Do you remember this time. Multiple flooding areas. Houses destroyed. It was like “mob” rules. What thoughts did you have. Judgement? Perhaps not. But, this is a clear reminder that our lives can change in a moment. Please God Your Guidance. Regardless, it reminds me of one of the strongest labor pains for the end of times yet. See 8-26-05

Dear Jesus

(AW)

Day 105… PREJUDICE?

There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. Galatians 3:28

9-7-05
To overcome prejudice one must have love I Corinthians 13 Love. Please Dad may I not be prejudice

Dear JESUS

(AW)

Day 106… F.C.C.

Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like starts in the universe Philippians 2:14,15

9-8-05
No F.C.C. No fear, no criticizing, no complaining- THE GOAL

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 107… Mature Love

‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” Mark 10:7-9

9-14-03
Mature Love: When has it occurred? Perhaps when you can finally say you would want to die with your spouse at the same time(and mean it), rather than to live without them and thus pursue other relationships with women past, present, or future.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 108… PLANK PULLING

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye an pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? Matthew 7:3

9-16-03
I remember a fellow resident in ob/gyn residency that really took advantage of the system at the cost of other residents. I will not go into all the details. But, it yesterday came to the point that my desire to see him disciplined overrode my love for him. May I not forget my true goal is to see all know Christ. Also my own history of selfish acts especially at Texas Tech against God, far outweigh anything that resident had done to me. May I not forget that Your Grace is Amazing. I look in just one corner of my bug free apartment there is a heater and air conditioner, computer, computer chair, real wood desk, fax machine I used to send my C.V. to Crozer where I was accepted to do residency, print/copier/scanner that I copied with just last night, my ability to make pictures with the digital camera that takes 1000 pictures, to burn cds, my necklace and watch to my right and wedding ring on my finger worth greater $1000, my Bible (priceless) sits in front of me, I can see, speak, smell, touch, hear, full cognitive and physical abilities. In other words- my jealousy was preventing me from experiencing joy. I am the wealthiest man alive- just in one corner of my room. May I consume my fellow resident with THE LOVE OF CHRIST and all people with Christ Love. May I not get distracted or forget.

Dear Jesus

(AW)

Day 109… BRAINWASHED?

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 7:21

9-25-03
I don’t know if you know much about residency but it is almost brainwashing. Some of the finished products are proof. I almost fell into this. I remember the day God helped me escape. I took paternity for two days. You laugh – 2 days. Believe me it was a huge thing. I missed priceless surgical teaching cases. At least I thought so at the time and yet I was willing because there was something more priceless. My family. What thing is brainwashing you. You read my story and laugh. If you told me yours would I laugh?. In other words- prioritize!!!

As my dad says- no success in the workplace justifies failure at home.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 110… CHASING YOUR TAIL?

Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from Him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. Psalm 127:3-5

9-26-03
Have you ever thought what you’d do if you had a tone of money? Many ultimately would say spend time with parents, daughter, wife etc. I remember a very well to do doctor said he’d give all he had for one more day with his deceased parents. The point is this? If your parents are with you or family- why are you still screaming inside on trying to figure out ways to make money. THINK!!! If money is to grant time with family- why are you not spending time with family? Do you really get this!!!!!!!!

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 111… TRUE WEALTH
For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 7:21

9-27-03

What good is it to gain a future and loose that which is priceless. For example become a doctor only to loose your family. Call your nearest medical school and ask them what the divorce rate is for the first year. This only one of many examples. Is your dream worth the cost? Dream God’s Dream- then the answer will be yes- it is worth the cost.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 112… CONTENT?- KNOW THE SECRET OF IT?

10-04-03
The secret of being content is found in Philippians 4:12. Its interesting, I lost St Anthony’s residency (family practice) and yet a few years later, God made me the chief resident of an ob/gyn residency instead. Now at the time of writing this, in doing what is right, I may be prevented from graduating residency on time. God’s Will. (Note: I did graduate on time) JESUS IS THE SECRET. IN THIS CASE TELL PEOPLE THE SECRET!!!

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 113… LIFE IS PRECIOUS

Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. James 4:14

10-10-03
Life is precious- A man came to the ER shot above his eye. An 18 week old baby was delivered secondary to oligohydraminos (not enough water around the baby [ Lord have mercy on those doctors.]) Yesterday, a lady, whose water broke around the baby since Tuesday, came in Thursday with infection and apgars were 1 at 1 minute, 2 at 5 minutes and 3 at 10 minutes with 10 being normal. Thus, the baby doing very poor. A lady came to Labor and Delivery with her baby having trisomy 18 (down syndrome is trisomy 21.) A maternity nurse had bad cancer and I did her postoperative visit. Dad. Thank You for my family. Thank You for every breath. Through my life may be but a mist may it be cool and refreshing for You.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 114… WILLING TO GOTO HELL?

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God- this is your spiritual act of worship. Romans 12:1

10-11-03
I don’t Love Jesus only to keep from going to Hell. Quite the opposite. It is because I Love Jesus, I would go to Hell for Him. Is not that what He did for us. So why do we complain about such petty circumstances?

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 115… HEART MATTERS!!!

10-12-03
Sometimes what is in the heart needs to be revealed and healed. A person may commit physical adultery 2 or 3 times and argue it was only 2 or 3 times but when the truth of the persons heart is revealed especially with t.v., movies, magazines, internet etc that same person has committed in their heart adultery 1000’s of times. Until the Lord heals that aspect what’s inside- the outside won’t matter. ( white washed tombs of dead mens bones. ) Controlling it is more than physically not letting it happen. Its allowing Jesus to not let it happen in your mind.
Next time your tempted to judge, think your better than someone else, or that someone deserves punishment etc remember the above.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 116… HOUSE(BODY) RENOVATIONS

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His Purpose. Romans 8:28

11-3-03
Whatever happens may you realize God is making you better not punishing you.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 117… MOUSE IN A SPINNING WHEEL

What does man gain from all his labor at which he toils under the sun? Ecclesiastes 1:3

11-9-03
Yesterday was interesting for me. I kept getting frustrated that so many “ outside events” were preventing me from getting my “work” done. As I pondered this, I thought about the purpose for work and from a non ministry standpoint, it would be to make it so I could do “outside events.” These include spend time with visitors, time with family, watch t.v., etc. Yet were not these the very interruptions that were preventing me from doing my work? I’m reminded of the person who works to buy a car and buys the car to drive himself to work.
God alone gives purpose!!!

Dear Jesus

(AW)

Day 118… NO STINKIN THINKIN- PRAISE FOR BAD CIRCUMSTANCES PART 1

Do everything without complaining or arguing, Philippians 2:14

11-15-03
You continue to bless. Thank You for Loving me. I haven’t been very good on focusing on what You’ve been doing- instead I complain. Please forgive me. I am reminded when the battery on the car which I’ve had 3+ years kept dying- complaining I did- yet I am reminded the car was free for us -a gift- I have no right to complain. The same is true for life- no matter what happens I have no right to complain because like the car when its all said and done THE GIFT was free: the gift of life and the Gift of LIFE: Salvation.

Dear Jesus

(AW)

Day 119 NO STINKIN THINKIN – PRAISE FOR BAD CIRCUMSTANCES PART 2

Do everything without complaining or arguing, Philippians 2:14

11-16-03
Its interesting how You provide. A few days ago I was upset on the car battery dying yet the car was free so what room did I have to complain. Well Lara was insistent we check the steering fluid etc. The belt for the engine was frayed in ½ wow. I don’t know that we would’ve checked if the battery hadn’t died earlier in the week. Thank You I’m not stuck out in the middle of I95 in rush hour etc or in a serious car wreck. When I really think about it even when circumstances are not what I want it always turns out You aren’t hurting me You are helping me.

(On the side on 11-19-03 wrote- same sex mariage was passed yesterday in one of the states, the use of RU486 passed earlier etc etc. Surely the labor pains of the end of time have begun. T.V. uses Your Name with no respect. Come quickly.)

(AW)

Dear Jesus

Day 120… BRING GUEST?

“The servant came back and reported this to his master. Then the owner of the house became angry and ordered his servant,’Go out quickly into the streets and alleys of the town and bring in the poor, the crippled, the blind and the lame.’ “‘Sir,’ the servant said, ‘what you ordered has been done, but there is still room.’ “Then the master told his servant, ‘Go out to the roads and country lanes and make them come in, so that my house will be full. Luke 14:21-23

12-5-03
I know my mom wants us to move home. Yet, I will go where God leads. I will be with my family in eternity and though I may not see them as much in this lifetime, I may bring more people to the party.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 121… SEEING IS NOT ALWAYS BELIEVING

Immediately Jesus reached out His Hand and caught him.”You of little faith,” He said, “why did you doubt?” Matthew 14:31

12-26-05 Last year at Christmas Lara was pregnant. We didn’t know at the time. She actually had a negative pregnancy “test” because her levels were to low. Yet, actually, she was pregnant with the blessing of my daughter. Now, this year at Christmas, I read the Bible to her. I held her on my lap and really enjoyed her. Ministry wise, this Christmas, it looks like we are doing nothing. Yet, I’m believing it’s already there regardless of what the “test” says just like that old pregnancy test was.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 122… PRECONCEIVED NOTION

When the chief priests had met with the elders and devised a plan, they gave the soldiers a large sum of money, telling the, “You are to say, ‘His disciples came during the night and stole Him away while we were asleep.’ So the soldiers took the money and did as they were instructed. And this story has been widely circulated among the Jews to this very day. Matthew 28: 12,13,15

12-28-03
When trying to pick what place to practice after residency, I wrote a think about with several details on different places I had looked at. The point- if God had told me which one to take right off would I have wondered the rest of my life on the others? Well I don’t now because He let me try all of them.

Sometimes God allows us to take the preconceived notions of what His Will is so we can discover and sometimes not so pleasantly that we are wrong. Where I’m practicing now I would’ve never dreamed – location, partners, type of practice – yet after 1 ½ years I see the beauty in the location to help the church, the type of practice to have “security and benefits” and partners to share Christ with.
What preconceived notion of God’s Will is preventing you from really doing God’s Will. Definitely its better to figure it out before you find out the not so pleasant way

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 123… TRUE NEEDS

But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD” Joshua 24:15

1-5-04
I was trying to study. My daughter wanted attention. You helped me feed her, rock her to sleep, place her in her crib and pray over her. Now I needed to study. But, I guarantee that time with my daughter was priceless!!!

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 124.. FOOLS GOLD

Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My Voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with Me. Revelation 3:20

1-7-04
Grace is more than 4 months old now. She is profoundly special to me. I baby sat her the other evening i.e. Lara wasn’t home and at one point she was really crying. The thing is, she wanted interaction. Now if I held her and watched t.v., she knew it. But, if took out flash cards and started going over them 3 to 1 or 1-2-3 3 lambs etc- she would stop her fussiness, smile and enjoy. Hmm. She did not want me to go through the motion (holding/ t.v.) But to really interact with her. God would rather have a moment of true interaction with us rather than going through the steps of religion.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 125… GOD PROVIDES

And my God will meet all your needs according to His Glorious Riches in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19

1-9-04
God provides despite circumstances. I had wrecked our Taurus and totaled it after sliding into a curb after sliding over ice. A person agreed to tow it for free but in return we didn’t make any money on the car. A person saw the car and needed the parts of of it. They had another Taurus with a good frame but needed the parts. We made $100.00 by the people who were going to tow it for us. They didn’t even have to tell us but did.

Thanks GOD!!!

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 126… BATTER UP!!!

Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave- Matthew 20:26,27

1-13-04
I wanted so badly for my wife to serve me. I rally came down hard on her. I bothered me during the day. We talked that evening. The solution was simple. Via You, I served her instead. I made dinner and tried to take care of Grace. The result . I had Peace. This should be pondered. The first shall be last. The greatest among you shall be a servant washing feet. In other words if, you are mad at your spouse for not doing something, then you better make sure you are doing it before reprimanding.

Dear JESUS

(AW)…

Day 127… TIME TRAVELER?

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. Philippians 4:11,12

1-24-04
Are you content? Lets see if that is true. If you could go back in time – I mean really go back in time would you? If so are you truly content? Jesus has taken care of my past – 32 years old- finally I am content.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 128… TIRED?

“Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Take My Yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am Gentle and Humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My Yoke is easy and My Burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30
1-31-04
Please read Psalm 95:11 It says: (So I declared on oath in My Anger, “They shall never enter My Rest.”) NOTE: They shall never enter MY Rest. Thank You Jesus that in You, I have already entered into Your Rest.

Dear JESUS

(AW)…

Day 129… SIN IS ALWAYS WRONG

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. John 10:10

2-19-04
Dad (GOD): true healing of my past is happening and I think it began yesterday with total honesty with You and Lara and a commitment of our vows ( Love no matter what.) It is sad how much we convince ourselves sin is ok even though deeper in our hearts we know it is wrong, For example, a third of students at a certain highschool were on the news with the diagnosis of syphilis. They were engaging in oral s ex. Why possibly? The president said oral sex wasn’t having sex- so the highschool students felt it was ok to do it. Why? He was trying to cover up his own activities. The sad part is they missed the point of what You are trying to do and that is protect them.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 130… TRUE LOVE

Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13

2-19-04
The Passion Movie is being called anti-Semitism. The point is not who killed JESUS. Instead the point is why GOD allowed it. Thank You for Loving me.

Dear JESUS

(AW)…

Day 131… NOT OUR JUST REWARDS

for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, Romans 3:23

2-19-04
Thank You Lord that, regardless of my past- through Your Blood Via Your Love, You accept me and heal me and take me regardless of my circumstances and use all for YOUR Glory.

A remembrance of ones own past and what it’s consequences should’ve been, allow us not to get prideful regardless of what “we’ve accomplished.” All have sinned except JESUS!

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 132… INCONVENIENT – DON’T MISS THE WITNESSING OPPORTUNITIES

Then He said to His disciples, “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few, Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into His harvest field.” Matthew 9:37,38

2-24-04
Thank You, You always provide. One of the third year residents, Babalola, needed a personal day to take his daughter to a college interview. This wouldn’t have been so bad but we had a first year resident on vacation, a first year resident off service, 2 residents on night float, a second year resident on urology and a fourth year resident at a different hospital. Plus another 4 year resident wanted a half day off for a job interview. This leaves us with nobody or less for coverage. Nonetheless, by a third year resident sacrificing getting to do a major operation to cover labor and delivery, she took the double hit and a second year resident coming into the mix, Babalola was granted his personal day with his daughter.

Who needs your help even if it is an inconvenience?
Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 133… CORRECT MOTIVE?
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. John 10:10

3-10-04
In the past, I have been so fearful of committing one sin – I wound up committing multiple sins not to do the one I was fearful of. Dear God please help. Are you struggling with legalism?

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 134… GOT FAITH?

Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. Mark 11:24

3-13-04
Grandma had her cardiac cath and only had like 1 stent placed- thats all. I said “that’s it?” Mom said what did you expect the way you were praying. Amazing You ARE. Thanks for how You are restoring developing my faith.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 135… ITS IN THERE!!! CHECK JOURNAL TO SEE IF ENTERED CORRECT

And my God will meet all your needs according to His Glorious Riches in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19

3-13-04
GOD PROVIDES. I slept 6 hrs straight last night while on call with only one phone call for the wrong doc . THAT IS BEYOND RARE as an Ob/Gyn resident. This morning, I awoke without an alarm and got a head start on the day. What a blessing, considering I’m to be post call. Yet, I still need to round at Christiana and Lara and I were to celebrate our anniversary a day early (6 years- wow) by going to see The Passion! You really provide always for me to do all You want and You put up with my inconsistency molding me. Thank You for Loving me.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 136… WHY???

The LORD said to Gideon, “You have too many men for Me to deliver Midian into their hands. In order that Israel may not boast against Me that her own strength has saved her, Judges 7:2

3-13-04
Judges 7:2 why circumstances are the way they are sometimes

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 137… HOW???

Gut I tell you the truth: It is for your good that I am going away. Unless I go away, the Counselor will not come to you; but if I go, I will send Him to you. John 16:7

3-21-04
If Solomon the wisest man alive couldn’t do it, how can we? We have Jesus and the Holy SPIRIT. Jesus did it. He didn’t succumb to lust. Solomon focuses on the vanity of the world. He had “the world.” Jesus lets us have Himself. Yeah !!!

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 138… CLIMBING THE LADDER?

But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to Him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” “ Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better and it will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:40-42

3-25-04
Being the chief resident can get one so busy doing a job it messes up the ministry. Rather than being an encourager for the residents- I wind up being the one to deny their vacation requests etc. By Your Grace, I think I’m still able to do both. But, I will be slower to jump at “positions” and focus more on what’s God’s Will – as “positions” cost in relationships and time with wife. (at times a position is appropriate- if it is the one God gives you.”

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 139… SERVING SELF?

When He had finished washing their feet, He put on His clothes and returned to His place. “Do you understand what I have done for you? He asked them. John 13:12
Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. John 13:14

3-26-04
I think I may have an undiagnosed nonspecific autoimmune disorder. This probably explains the malaise, fatigue, etc. I read a story in Guidepost that was similar. The person in the story, saw 40 cdddos and finally started trusting in You and prioritizing her health. I am trying to do the same. Historically, I work out hard, get sick for months, i.e. throw up which leads to mouth sores- malaise etc. This time, I’m talking it slow but already in 5 days feeling some improvement. My marriage with Lara perhaps is similar. I will criticize and she’ll respond backwards. Rather than adjust she internalizes it. When I’m super week- her wall of defense goes up from perhaps fear of inconsistency relationship (crumbling – please show us how to compliment each other literally and on all levels. Perhaps rather than criticize, I need to serve. We both agree the first night of marriage to serve and symbolized it washing our feet. Dad please make me a better husband.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 140… ASSUMING?
Then He said to His disciples, “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few, Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into His harvest field.” Matthew 9:37,38

4-6-04
As many of you know the Passion movie was out recently. A resident was talking to a Jewish attending (doctor in charge of teaching the residents) saying he felt the Barabus character should get an Oscar. Imagine my surprise at assuming that the attending did not know who Barabus was. Perhaps we assume the people around us have heard the Gospel Message to much. Lord send me.

Dear JESUS

(AW)…

Day 141… WHAT DO YOU REALLY WANT?
As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for You, O God. Psalm 42:1

4-11-04
My cat Rocky will wake me up to be petted at around 4-6AM if I’m not up. Of all the things that little cat could be doing he wants me. That makes me feel good. A cat can get the attention of a “busy resident.” How much more can we get God’s Attention if the only thing we want is time with HIM. Think on what the only thing we want is. I did not say ask for stuff. I said time with HIM.

Dear JESUS

(AW)…

Day 142… THE TRUTH- IF YOU HAVE IT- SHARE IT!!!

4-21-05
A neighbors wife had invovled the cops for abuse. The neighbors husband spoke to me for two hours on the phone. Its interesting how his story sounds true. There are two sides to every coin. Regardless of who is telling the truth- may God use us to show them the TRUTH!!!

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 143… LIVING IN THE PAST?

Remember Lot’s wife! Whoever tries to keep his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life will preserve it. Luke 17: 32,33

4-21-05
Luke 17:22-36 focus vs 32-33. Lot looks back. She wanted the past. Many of the Israelites with Moses kept wanting to go back to Egypt despite sign after sign of God’s Intervention and Prevention. What Promise Land should you be looking forward to? What past needs to stay in the past? God may we only strive forward for the promise land.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 144… BLESSING IN DISGUISE

The comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. John 10:10

4-28-04
I really Love You GOD!!! Yesterday, I missed getting to do a fancy surgery because I was in another fancy surgery. Yet by faith I trust I am in the cases You want me to be in. Perhaps in the other surgery, something would have gone wrong. What circumstances are frustrating you that may be God’s way of saving you?

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 145… NO COMPROMISE

Then Jesus said to His disciples,” If anyone would come after Me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow Me. Matthew 16:24

4-28-05
Pressure to compromise in the operating room is like compromising witnessing. For example, the patient is on the table and one look around with the camera in the belly and its clear the 20 minute case will take hours. Anesthesia is mad. The surgery help are mad. If you are successful you are a hero. But if you fail… To open or not to open. The point is to be true to the patient- not whats best for anesthesiologist or the resident who is thinking of another case they are about to miss. The patiesnt is the priority. To be a successful witness one must be willing to go against family, friends, self interest in hopes of reaching the lost.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 146… HELD DOWN FROM THE PAST?

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, Philippians 3:12,13

5-3-04
You’ve probably heard how an elephant when young can have on a chain on the leg to hold them in a restrictive zone. Once trained the chain is replaced by a string. Even once fully grown and easily strong enough to break the small string on their foot, they don’t because they still remember the chain as a child. How often we pray for God to free us from our past. He does. But, we don’t realize it. Remember, whatever has bound us is easily broken via JESUS. Yet, rather than believing this, we remember the pain of the chains. If we’d really “risk it,” we’d find that the chains aren’t even there any more. Be Free!
So if the Son sets you free you will be free indeed. John 6:36

Dear JESUS

(AW)…

Day 147… REAL OR JUST USING?

For God does not show favoritism. Romans 2:11

5-8-04
I am reminded of an interesting Truth and one I pray God helps me with. Jerry Hill knows 1000 people across the U.S. Yet when my dad in law Bob broke his hip, he sent Bob the prayer of Jabez book and inside wrote to Bob my best friend. You see, before Jerry knew all the 1000 people, he was friends with Bob. How many want to talk to Jerry because of his accomplishments not because he is Jerry. Dad, I’m glad I knew Jerry and Fern before I knew the extent of what they did. May I be true friends to all people. May there position Not influence my action. People with the “lowest” of jobs to the “biggest”- may I truly treat all people the same. The other part of the lesson- simple- how many famous people are lonely. Perhaps your boss you don’t like is lonely. Or an actor you like is lonely. If people could see beyond there “title” and instead see the person- that would be good.

Dear JESUS

(AW)…

Day 148… REAL LIFE “IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE”

For the Message of the cross if foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. I Corinthians 1:18

5-9-04
While on vacation in Long Island we toured the new addition to the Boys Ranch: a place for young men 18-21yrs as they transition out of foster care. That was exciting. But, what really excited me, was the architect for the project who I met. He said he came home from his 9th grade mechahanical art class and wanted to be an architect. Here is where it becomes really neat. Guess who his 9th grade architect teacher was?- It was Bob Keyser- my dad in law and the writer of The Audiencio Waltz. Glory to Jehovah. God’s plan- for the Christian Boys Ranch transitional housing to be touched by a secular art class years prior. Realize you may be setting the path for projects decades later.
A quote of Bob Keyser: none of us are perfect except the one 2000 years ago so don’t be aftraid to use your eraser.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 149… TIPPING THE SCALES

Be self -controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prows around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” I Peter 5:8

5-17-04
The 50 year playboy show aired on regular t.v.. Lara and I watched about a minute or two in disbelief as stars respected were there. Women without tops under a waterfall/pool, women with thongs or body paint. Hue Hefner now old being a puppet of the devil thinking how great he has had it. Yet, I’m sure realizing the reality of eternity (i.e. his body is aging and mortality on this side of earth) setting in. I pray he realizes he is on the wrong path. He will not be able to stop his body from decaying but God can. Nonetheless my prayer is for his salvation. I pray God uses me and Lara and Grace (my family) to claim more over the next 50 years to not sin as the evil one used Hue Heffner to sin this past 50 years.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 150… OLD LETTERS Part 1

A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24

5-22-04
Lara has been packing and she is wanting me to really get rid of stuff. I ask God to please anoint me to say goodby to my past, head on to the future, and know I love HIM.
Of course, while going through stuff, being the pack rat that I am, I have letters from birthdays etc. I want to remember those times. I realize something. I plan to contact some old friends today. I’d rather love them as active friends than old letters.
Ponder this….

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 151… OLD LETTERS Part 2

A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24

5-23-04
I was going through about 12 years worth of letters I’d saved. I.e. I was a summer missionary, graduation, birthday cards. I realized I kept the cards for memories. By God, I realized how much better actually still talking to the person would be than having a 10 year old letter. I called up my grandparents, Steve my cousin, Shayn Herpich high school friend, Steve Cavenaugh -medical school friend and plan to email some people today. Wow what a joy for me. I think it was a joy for them as well.

Who can you make modern day memories with today? Anyone God has been laying on your heart to contact?

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 152… LIFE HANGING IN THE BALANCE

I can do everything through Him who give me strength. Philippians 4:13

5-29-04
A 20 week pregnant lady already had buldging membranes and a 2.4cm dilated cervix. People encouraged her to go ahead and deliver. If so she would lose the baby. I encouraged her to make her decision be informed. Thus she received a neonatology consult and chose to see if she can make it carrying out the pregnancy. I almost didn’t go against the attending and chief resident and offer this option of a neonatology consult. Thank God for boldness with truly life or death changes as a result.
Who do you need to step up to the plate and intervene for?

DEAR JESUS

(AW)…

Day 153… THANKFUL? VALUABLE?

One of them, when he saw he was healed, came back, praising God in a loud voice. He threw himself at Jesus” Feet and thanked Him- and he was a Samaritan. Jesus asked, “Were not all ten cleansed? Where are the other nine? Was no one found to return and give praise to God except this foreigner?” Luke 17:15-18

6-3-04
All year I’ve tried to be a good chief and accommodate the needs of my classmates in Obstetrics and Gynecology residency. Yesterday, in a meeting, two of them kept pushing the envelope. One of them even wanted off the ½ day I was graduating (which is the seniors day to enjoy). All of this, rather than being content. I am reminded of the 10 lepers healed. Yet, only one thanked You. I now understand this story much better. Thank You God for all. For only in You am I something.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 154… NOW WHAT?
So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. John 8:36

6-12-04
You have become a Christian. You want to right past wrong. For instance if you pirated many computer games do you now go buy them so that they are no longer stolen? What if the games are violent and buying them will support evil?
Another way to ask it. If one snuck peaks at playboy would he now go buy one some to make up for the times he stole looks at the magazine.
This is between you and God. Remember His Blood is PERFECT! Whatever the answer- do not get distracted! Once you are free do not go back under bondage!!!

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 155… FULFILLING YOUR MINISTRY? YOU HAVE TO KNOW AND ACCEPT IT FIRST

Immediately Jesus reached out His Hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” He said, “why did you doubt?” Matthew 14:31

6-13-04
Vacation has been good. By God it has been an interesting time. He has allowed me to really think about where I am and where I’m going. Through out this Thursday, I am reminded the best occupation for me now is to be a doctor. Why? I love to encourage people and you’ve blessed me with hand eye coordination to perform surgeries. These strong suits fit my occupation.

Accepting God using me to do surgeries rather than “divine healing” was an important lesson learned. Was my faith real? Was I in it for myself and using God as tool to manipulate?
When considering this realize, once while in medical school I totally believed God to heal my physical sight. I went to a healing meeting and there tore up my contacts (like the old story about bringing your umbrella with you if your praying for rain). Well my physical vision didn’t change or did it? Not how I expected- see God had more planned. I wound up buying some glasses. A fellow student told me, with those glasses, I’d look good with a Caesar haircut. With that haircut and eventually a gotee, instead of looking like an 80’s man I was finally a 2000s man. What I’m saying is God had better plans and gave me the healing I really needed. A modern look to carry out modern ministry.

I’ve thought about past dreams and how there is not enough time to “do” everything. As”Jesus M.D.”book states-“only one life will soon be past, only what is done for Christ will last.” Could I have done electronics and been good. Probably. But, would any of these save unborn children? Would it have allowed me multiple opportunities daily to ask people about spiritual matters? Would it allow me a deep relationship of caring for people that a patient doctor relationship offers like helping someone through rape?

And of course the dream of going back to the past. Its interesting as we grow in Christ I think we forget how much we’ve changed over time. I had the gift of playing a game form 1977, I thought I’d really enjoy. Probably 10 minutes into it I was “killing” a troll. I wasn’t enjoying myself. Wow. I wouldn’t enjoy my past because by God’s Grace that Shaun Jester doesn’t exist anymore. May I forget “what is behind and strain(ing) toward what is ahead.” Philippians 3:13 NIV

Dear Jesus

(AW)

Day 156… FOOLS FOR CHRIST

For it seems to me that God has put us apostles on display at the end of the procession, like men condemned to die in the arena. We have been made a spectacle to the whole universe, to angels as well as to men. We are fools for Christ, but you are so wise in Christ! We are weak, bu you are strong! You are honored, we are dishonored! To this very hour we go hungry and thirsty, we are in rags, we are brutally treated, we are homeless. We work hard with our own hands. When we are cursed, we bless; when we are persecuted, we endure it; When we are slandered, we answer kindly. Up tho this moment we have become the scum of the earth, the refuse of the world. I Corinthians 4:9-13

6-14-04

Are you doing I Corinthians 4:9-13? Is your preacher preaching something different? Be warned. We have a first century example of what we are to be doing.

Dear Jesus

(AW)

Day 157… DOING THE IMPOSSIBLE

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

6-19-04
It hasn’t really hit me fully or even close how far God has brought me. Yet, I literally was a medical resident failure- destroyed weeping before You 4 ½ years ago. Now I have graduated with the credential of having been the chief resident of an M.D. Obstetrician and Gynecologist program. Realize I was D.O. medical student not M.D.
The point- If GOD wants it done, and you submit to Him, it will be done. This is true no matter how improbable.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 158… GOD LOVES US

Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My Voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with Me. Revelation 3:20

6-24-04 (by Bob Crusco)
I enjoyed church last night- the Eunuch was not allowed to worship except out with the Gentiles. Yet, You in Acts, sent Philip to tell the Ethiopian Eunuch the Good News. This guy had traveled to worship despite knowing he couldn’t worship in the temple. How incredible the New Covenant is. Now, YOU dwell in us. We can commune with You at all times.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 159… NUMBER GAMES

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make you paths straight. Proverbs 3: 5,6

6-26-04
A new show out is called Numbers. They use math to solve problems. While that can be good, another playing of “the numbers” is not.

A Christian friend doesn’t mind fudging the company car or phone. HE realizes he is gambling that he won’t be audited. But, he play the “numbers” carefully. The problem is he is lying about the numbers and stealing from the government as a result by tax evasion. Is this really a problem? It is like dating. The goal is not how far is to far. But, the goal is how good can I be. This is taught by Jay Cartey.
What “numbers” are you playing?

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 160… DOING THE IMPOSSIBLE

I can do everything through Him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13

6-27-06
Heard the expression “walking on eggshells.” This is not a pleasant time. But, don’t worry. God had Peter walk on water. He can have you walk on egg shells and keep you from breaking a single one.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 161… LOVE

“For God so Loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

7-18-04
I spent some good time with my daughter and played the laser light with Rocky. I read Your Word to Grace (my daughter)- crawled around with her encourage/smiled at her. Dad may she please You. She fell after standing by the end table and bruised her head. I called the nurse on call. Thank You so much she is o.k. I take care of the sick but when its your kid its different. Even more so, I have respect on how You sent Your own Son JESUS to die for me.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 162… MAKING A DIFFERENCE

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is Love. I John 4:7,8

7-22-04
To make a difference you have to be involved.

It has taken me years to change on some of my sin issues. So what about my Christian brothers when they sin. (I.e. do “minor” things I disagree with.) Should I just leave them to goto another ministry where they are not ”sinning?” What good is it to leave them? If I leave them, I can’t be an influence on them and I may very well mess up the great ministry God has planned there.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 163… WHY BOTHER WITH LIFE INSURANCE?

Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; Never will I forsake you.: So we say with confidence, “The Lord is my Helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?” Hebrews 13:5,6

7-26-04
Life insurance- how much $300,000 ,$600,000, $3,000,000? Better yet, why bother? Simple for those left behind. That one or ones whom you loved and wanted them settled for life if you pass away. Likewise, why did Jesus die on the cross? He wanted us taken care of. Do you grasp this? Not only died for us but offers eternal life for us and to never leave us nor forsake us. Thanks GOD: Oh that You Love us so!

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 164… PERSEVERANCE

I have fought the good fight, I ave finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the Righteous Judge, will award to me on that day – and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for His appearing. 2 Timothy 4:7,8

7-29-04
By Michael Baker- Noah lived in a land where he was not liked, People ridiculed him. Yet, despite the above lasting 120 years, he built a boat for that 120 years. What are we doing to compare to what Noah had to do? Yet don’t we complain. Really consider this. Noah was faithful and we should be glad as we are all descended from him.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 165… TRUE EXISTENCE

But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans 5:8

8-8-04
One second with You is better than a million years of life without You.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 166… FEAR OF CHANGE

8-11-04
A lady presented to the office for her annual exam. Tearful at times, she explained the man she lived with verbally and physically abused her. No money. An escape plan was made. Xanax to help keep her relaxed to pull it off was given. Almost a week later she is still there wanting more Xanax. None was given and she was encouraged to call the police for help escaping. Many thoughts about this lady go through my mind, I realize though, aren’t we to God, like this lady was to the doctor?
P.S. What is your Xanax?

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 167… PROPER PRIORITIES

He answered:”’Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind ‘; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” Luke 10 :27

8-14-04
Yesterday I was real emotional about little things bothering me. The problem on top of that was it was effecting my ministry where I almost forgot about the needs of the patient. Thanks for using Lara to wake me up. My concerns are valid but not at the expense of my patient.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 168.. TO BE A MILLIONAIRE?

But seek first His Kingdom and His Righteousness, and all these thing will be given to you as well.
Matthew 6:33

8-15-06
This one really is for me. Is it possible we are not to pursue a money or adventure unless somewhere it truly is linked to serving God? I don’t mean “oh, I will use the profits for God- tongue and cheek.” I mean really if we truly just seek to show Christ will all the rest work out? The Bible says it will.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 169… FAITH

But seek first His Kingdom and His Righteousness, and all these thing will be given to you as well.
Matthew 6:33

8-16-04
God gave me a great break through in understanding. I used to would say: “ I’d like to do medicine independent of money- if I just had the money.” God showed me this focus is wrong. I should forget the money. Never have Lara and I gone without- never!!!
The questions is what does God want me to do today. Its really that simple. The same applies to you. Do the ministry God has for you to do no matter what. All you need – finances, time, provisions, etc will be there. The key is God for ones needs not self. THIS IS WHERE FAITH COMES IN. TRY IT YOU WILL NOT BE DISAPPOINTED!!! Also, be careful that your friends are friends because you love them not because of the wealth, political power, or benefit they may give to you.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 170… GOD LOVES YOU

Simeon took Him in his arms and praised God, saying: “Sovereign Lord, as You have promised, You now dismiss Your servant in peace. For my eyes have seen Your salvation, which You have prepared in the sight of all people, a light for revelation to the Gentiles and for glory to Your people Israel.” Luke 2:28-32

8-16-04
When I spend time with God even the pen I use I want to be special. So the pen from a hotel- certainly would not be special enough. Again, I want a pen set apart for that. While I do want to honor God, He has taught me a deeper Truth. The “reject” hotel pen could be used. In fact, more important to God is people knowing Him. That is why the “reject” people i.e. Gentiles- God accepted through Christ. His Love is beyond comprehension.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 171… GOT FAITH?

I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in Me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these because I am going to the Father. John 14:12

8-21-04
Nebuchadnezzer started the destruction of Jerusalems walls about 143 years prior to Nehemiah stepping forward in faith and God using him to have them rebuilt in 52 days. Likewise only days to get into the promise land. Yet the Israelites wondered the desert 40 years. What a shame. What are you not trusting God to handle?

Dear JESUS

(AW)…

Day 172… THE TRUE FOUNDATION

Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun. Ecclesiastes 2:11

8-24-04
I’ve been watching the Olympics. Oddly some people are messing up who should have won. Or people winning that shouldn’t because the judges are not catching as many mistakes as the t.v. camera is. Former Gold champions being beat by younger competitors.
In the end- it all seems so fleeting.
You alone are STABLE. You alone have any Lasting True Value.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 173… A MATTER OF THE HEART

8-24-04
I’ve been involved in pyramid money making schemes and have even had my own patent. The problem was motive. All those times I pursued money and said I’d use it for God. Would I really? If not I shouldn’t have done it. What about the thousands in the pyramid who were losing money? The patent- well I obtained it but in fear of it being stolen I did it so fast I didn’t make sure of its feasability first and patented the wrong thing.- Wrong!!! The key truly in ones heart seeks You. The rest will fall into place. As time has gone on and my “material wealth” has grown so has my skill in truly using it for you rather than it ruining me. How many time has a person won the lottery and it not destroyed them. I dare say it is few. May we honor God with pure motives.

Dear JESUS

(AW)…

Day 174… MOTIVES

My soul yearns, even faints, for the Courts of the LORD; my heart and my flesh cry out for The Living God. Psalm 84:2

9-4-04
May the desire for money not destroy me as the desire for sex almost did. Sound familiar? The even more surprising thing is I would hide my true motives under Christian motives. For example think of all the good things I could do if I could astral project or if I had a million dollars. NOT! I need GOD!!!. Thanks God for not giving up on me. Is your heart pure? Only then could God truly ever trust you with money etc.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 175… INQUIRING OF GOD?

Now Moses used to take a tent and pitch it outside the camp some distance away, calling it the “tent of meeting.” Anyone inquiring of the LORD would go to the ten of meeting outside the camp. Exodus 33:7

9-4-04
SIMPLE- YET PROFOUND GIFT- In CHRIST- we are now the “tent of meeting.”
Do you comprehend the significance of this?

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 176… GOD PLEASE A SIGN AND I WILL BELIEVE?

Whenever the people saw the pillar of cloud standing at the entrance to the tent, they all stood and worshiped, each at the entrance to his tent. The LORD would speak to Moses face to face, as a man speaks with his friend. Then Moses would return to the camp, but his young aide Joshua son of Nun did not leave the tent. Exodus 33:10,11

9-4-04
If only I had a sign I would believe. Thinks so? How about the Israelites . They saw many “sign”. Yet, they didn’t believe. Nor did they get into the promise land. MIND BOGGLING.
Also God spoke with Moses as one does His friend. Do you speak with HIM that way? Do you stay in the “tent” like Joshua?

Dear JESUS

(AW)…

Day 177… SERVING NOT JUDGING

The greatest among you will be your servant. For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.
Matthew 23:11-12

9-7-04
The question: God how do I practice what I believe is respectful to You, yet, not be so legalistic, I miss witnessing opportunities or hurt baby Christians. A guy with a current heart attack doesn’t need his painful tooth cavity fixed at that moment. Likewise a baby should not be expected to eat a t-bone steak. In the same manner a baby Christian should be allowed some leeway not judgement. Please may my practice of serving You never impede Your Will.

Dear JESUS

(AW)…

Day 178… THE POWER SOURCE

And my God will meet all your needs according to His Glorious Riches in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19

7-28-02
In my mind, I have no doubt the lottery is wrong. Even if I promised to use all the money for God. The ends don’t justify the means. Gambling is wrong. Likewise, I used to want psychic powers for Jesus. See the problem. God alone is the Power Source. I was so blind. Desiring psychic power is like trying to win the lottery. Wrong! Please reread this and ponder it for a while. What are you trying to use for God rather than using God’s Strength?

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 179 CONSIDER THIS!!!

Now the LORD God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field. But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while and while he was sleeping, He took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God mad a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and He brought her to the man.
Genesis 2:19-22

8-13-02
Woman was taken from man. She was not made from the ground. WHY?????????? Ponder this!!!

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 180… TOUGH DECISIONS

“For God so Loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

8-21-02
I did get to witness to a lady who is 19weeks pregnant and her water broke. Now she is trying to decide if she is going to try a fibrin plug (heroic, $1000, and experimental) verses observation verses termination(abortion). Obviously, I am against the termination. I spoke to her. I explained that God understand her situation because He lost His Son on the Cross. Praise: He is resurrected. You really do understand all our needs. May she draw to You for Strength and You Heal her land.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 181… MATTERS OF THE HEART

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 7:21

8-23-02
A patient complimented me and wanted me to deliver her baby. However, I was not on that rotation of residency at the time she came in for delivery when her water broke. I left. I felt I made a mistake not staying. I went back to the hospital and asked to deliver her from the resident who was on the rotation. It turns out she had a cesarean section due to complications. She held my hand after and gave me one of the most genuine thank you for being here I have received. I almost missed one of the very things I went into medicine for in the first place. God please may I not miss the forest for the trees. May I see Your plans God and not be selfish/ look at circumstances.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 182… TOUGH LOVE

Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:1,2

8-24-02
My wife’s friend is down for a wedding shower. She is going to marry a non-Christian. Is it our place as her Christian family to shun her since obviously she should not marry him? Or should we help her with the wedding shower etc to show Christian Love to her soon to be husband?. What is Tough Love in this case? What other areas in your life do you need to display some tough love?

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 183… YOU CAN DO IT

I can do everything through Him who give me strength. Philippians 4:13

8-26-02
Kennethin Hagin ministries celebrated 30 years of ministry. The incredible part is he was 55 years old when the Lord used him to start it.
What ministry does God want you to start or be apart of? In Christ you will not be to old or to young!!!

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 184… PURRRRRRRRRRR (CAT WHEN HAPPY)

Enoch walked with God; then he was no more, because God took him away. Genesis 5:24

8-28-02
As a recent cat owner, I’ve come to love my cat purring. It makes me feel like I’m really providing for my cat’s needs and it makes me feel special. It makes me feel loved. I then thought what way can I “purr” for Jesus and make Him feel wonderful. JESUS reminded me true praise, service, true friendship to Him is the human “purr-urr”
Enoch walked with God. May we do the same and make God happy.
Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 185… NATURE TELLS WHO GOD IS!
Some of the Pharisees in the crowd said to Jesus, “Teacher, rebuke Your disciples!” “I tell you,” He replied, “if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out.” Luke 19: 39,40

8-26-02
The cat purring is a miracle from God. Nature tells of God’s Existence and Incredibleness. Can you “SEE?”

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 186… LIFESTYLE EVANGELISM

He told them, “The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the Harvest, therefore, to send out workers into His Harvest Field. Luke 10:2

8-28-02
I am at awe watching how cat trapping draws all kinds of people out of the woodwork – witnessing opportunities galore. Likewise, what about motorcyclist for Christ or white water rafting for Christ. I read of a missionary who skins bucks and uses that in his evangelism pursuits. What gifts and talents has God called you to use for HIM? If your hobby is unique and truly God given, you can be sure there is a way to use it for the Kingdom.

Dear Jesus

(AW)..

DAY 187… DON’T TAKE IT FOR GRANTED

He answered:”’Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind ‘; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” Luke 10 :27

9-3-02
We had dinner with the Cruscos. It was nice to hang out with God, them, my parents, and my wife. I remember being on call at the hospital the whole time during a holiday or Sunday and basically I’d call home. At home the family, extended, would be together- great food, games outside and I’d be working. Oh, how I dreamed to be off. Yesterday, for labor day, it happened. Thank God. Thank God. Thank God. Thank GOD!
What blessings do you have daily that you are taking for granted.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 188… HAPPINESS NOT IN GOLD

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 7:21

9-6-02
I toured Marble House in Road Island. Impressive: worth millions of dollars- a gold room. Yet the owners were not happy. She divorced her husband and made her daughter marry a duke whom the daughter went on later to have a divorce. This goes against what the world teaches brings happiness. The problem is even as Christians many of us are so brain washed we still believe it will bring happiness. True or False.

Dear JESUS

(AW)…

Day 189… RELIGION VERSES RELATIONSHIP

Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity.
Colossians 4:5

9-6-02
A Christian friend is marrying a non- Christian . I think this is wrong Biblically. We had dinner with them last night. It was an opportunity to show the lost person, that Jesus Loves him. I question God where the balance is. One should love the sinner and hate the sin. Do I attend the wedding? Where do I draw the line? What do you think? What do you think God thinks? What example did Jesus set?

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 190… OTHERS BEFORE SELF BRINGS HAPPINESS

Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Philippians 2:4

9-8-02
On our way home from traveling we had to make a decision. We had traveled 11 hours with 1 ½ hours to go to get home. Our cousin, Steve, was alone. His wife, had been out of town visiting her mother with gallbladder surgery and her sister in law who had already had 2 strokes by the age of 32. The question was do we go home, since we were tired, or stop and get Steve dinner was the question? We did stop and have pizza. This turned out to be the highlight of my day and a reminder I am truly happy when I am helping others.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 191… WANTING TO GO BACK TO EGYPT BECAUSE OF FEAR?

9-9-02
As Pharaoh approached, the Israelites looked up, and there were the Egyptians, marching after them. They were terrified and cried out to the LORD. Exodus 14:10

Vacation was almost over and I was about to start my gynecology rotation as a third year resident. The day before was great because over and over again, God was preparing me spiritually to go back.
In Psalm 23 I focused on though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil. I was reminded on the lesson of fear instead of faith. Moses for example in fear used the excuse of his speech. He went on and God used him. The Israelites had fears but didn’t trust God and walked in the desert 40 years.
On the way to church, I was down hearted reading a Christian magazine that reminded me of a Christian Family Residency Program in TX Had I missed my calling? If I went there, I would be done with residency by that point and I’d probably speak Spanish. I shared this with my wife Lara. She turned to me and said you know those Israelites you always complain about- you can’t believe they had seen all those miracles yet still wanted to go back to Egypt: that is what you are doing.. Wow! God used that to hit me straight in the core. I can’t believe I let myself start doubting and feeling that I’d want to settle for one of the worst experiences of my life- being a family practice doctor. You blessed me to be an Ob/Gyn doctor. Surely God has delivered me, reassured me, and has given me the wife of His Choice for me, the residency of His Choice for me. Also God has given me a research project, patent, state liscensure, friends, and church. Exodus 14:10 pretty much sums it up. My hope see verse 14. I love verse 15. Forgive my crying God. Lets Move- back to Residency Time!

What is your residency time God is calling you into?

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 192… Sin Cascades to Death

When tempted , no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He tempt anyone; but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death. James 1:14-15

9-18-02
Please read 2 Samuel chapter 11. Really ponder this
David commits adultery and wants to conceal his sin. In attempts to conceal sin, not only does Uriah (who is innocent die,) but Abimilech also dies when the men are getting close enough for Uriah to die. Sin cascades! Beware!!! This all started with a look. Any dominoes “falling.” Ask God to Intervene immediately. He alone can fix it.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 193… SIN ENDS IN DEATH

For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 6:23

9-20-02
I used to think (see picture). Paralleled. It turns out I thought this because I was so far in sin, I didn’t see the truth. It turns out one never is advancing no matter how far in sin. See picture. GO FOR LIFE! GO FOR JESUS!!!

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 194… MISSING DIVINE APPOINTMENTS LEGITIMATELY?

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

9-28-02
I was pulled (as an ob/gyn resident) to go cover the out patient clinic- my 2 hours to study, sleep, whatever, taken from me RRR. Two patients left-and myself and one other provider left to see them. One was an easy pregnant patient check and one was an annual exam complicated by prolonged bleeding (not as easy.) I didn’t have to see either. The nurses aid told me to see the fast one. I felt You wanted the longer. I saw the longer .I sat down. The patient wide eyed stared at me and said you’re the one. She grabbed at my Hebrew Song of Solomon wedding ring then spoke You’re the one that was there the night of my miscarriage. She cried . We talked. I explained God had a plan for us meeting since I wasn’t even supposed to be there. She still had nightmares. She never forgave herself for an abortion shed had had prior to her misscariage this time. I had an incredible witnessing opportunity. I helped her physically but God helped her spiritually and used me to do it. I gave her small cards with verses on healing and salvation by faith not works. Could I have missed this divine appointment? Surely I had several legitimate excuses. You bet I could’ve missed it. Praise YOU JEHOVAH Jesus Holy Spirit I didn’t!

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 195… LIFE TO DEAD MANS BONES

10-5-02
Instead of loneliness and depression, I prayed and GOD reminded me of some incredible things. When dating my wife there was a time the relationship was over. Yet, now we are married. In applying for the patent it was dead. Yet, ultimately, I did get a patent. I couldn’t stand research. Yet, God gave me and Institutional Review Board approved research project. I couldn’t undertand how to crique journals. Now, I do. In residency, I basically failed out at Saints in family practice. Yet alive at Crozer in obstetrics and gynecology. . Licensor for Pennsylvania not probable. Yet rotating internship credit and now I have the license. Dead! All the most prized things. Yet, You brought all of them back to life. Rocky the cat on the rock about to die. Now our cat for years. Even Christ on the cross. HE IS RISEN!!!

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 196… GRACE

“For God so Loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

10-13-02
Yesterday as I read 2nd Samuel 21- I saw how a man killed another and yet became in charge of the army. The same man had lost being in charge of the army earlier. Did I mention he killed the kings son. Do we need the Blood of Jesus the New Covenant? I guarantee the justice of old is scary. Thank You Dad for Jesus’ Blood. Did I mention 7 sons died and laid on a mountain as a result of their dad.in that chapter?

Why not take a moment and read 2 Samuel 21 and be thankful for God and His Grace

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 197… WELCOME BACK

Then Jesus told them this parable: “Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Does he not leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, “Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.” Luke 15:3-6

10-21-02
Lara is home again. She left Wednesday. But, I was on call Tuesday and she was working Monday. She made it home Sunday night so its been like a week since I’ve seen her. It is so nice to have her back. I guess God fees the same way about having us come back to Him and being His Bride.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 198… ARE YOU LISTENING?

10-25-02
All day I listen to peoples problems. I’ll go to tell mine and the subject will get changed or the listener will start talking to someone else etc. Does anyone really, I mean really, really listen? You reminded me today- You do – You alone!!!!!!!

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 199… BEING A CHRISTIAN VS DOING CHRISTIAN ACTIVITIES

“Not everyone who says to Me,”Lord, Lord,” will enter the kingdom of Heaven, but only he who does the Will of My Father who is in Heaven. Many Will say to Me on that day, “Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your Name, and in Your Name drive out demons and perform many miracles?” Then I will tell them plainly, “I never knew you. Away from Me, you evildoers!” Matthew 7:21-23

11-6-02
A radio clip had said a person was so involved with church activities that his kids didn’t get to do anything with him. I feel that way some time with residency. God please show me the balance with residency, lara, church. Are you so involved in playing church you are not doing church. God may we truly Love YOU!

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 200 HIS TEMPLE

Solomon covered the inside of the temple with pure gold, and he extended gold chains across the front of the inner sanctuary, which was overlaid with gold. 1Kings 6:21

11-15-02
1 Kings 6:21- Imagine what God is making us into since we are now HIS Temple (pure gold)
Go ahead and read 1 Kings 6:11-37. We are God’s Temple. He lives in us. Fathom this and His blessings.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 201 TOUGH CIRCUMSTANCES BEING WITNESSING OPPORTUNITIES

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28

11-15-02
Please may I have “no stinking thinking.” Instead, may I think of witnessing opportunities. For example, while in residency when I had a spare night home with family, the last thing I wanted to do was give it up. But the correct political thing to do, when the time fell correctly, was to go to the obstetrical society meeting. Rather than thinking of those hours, as one might as well be on call, I tried to think of it as a chance to meet others and a chance from the guest lecturers to learn educational information that may be the test I needed to pass each years. As for my reproductive endocrinology and infertility rotation, rather than delve into the injustice(ethics), rather I tried to witness to my attending doctor.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 202 NO STINKING THINKING

“You have heard that it was said, ”Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.” But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strike you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you. Matthew 5:38-42

11-24-02
An attending doctor in residency had me do his lecture. This was a total dump as the residents already have their lectures to give. Yet, I prayed God would endear me to this attending. Maybe this is the answer to that prayer. If someone tunic give him your cloak also. May he see God in me.
Watch today for an opportunity to love rather than take offense.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 203… IS GOD YOUR SLAVE?

I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm- neither hot nor cold- I am about to spit you out of My Mouth. You say, “ I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.” But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. Revelations 3:15-17

11-24-02
Remember yesterdays think about? The attending- totally used me for his own self gain. I was so outraged and felt defenseless. Yet, I did not want to burn bridges with him. This must be a taste of what slavery was like. To be disrespected and used. I pleaded to God. The response suprised me? Thats what you used to do to ME.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 204… AFRICA BOUND?

11-30-02
To be a real witness/missionary does not mean you have to go to “Africa.” How about working in the army reserves as a batalian commander or supervising in the downtown post office? Imagine the witnessing opportunities. Surely God has blessed me with a wonderful dad. And my mom sparkles- Sunday school teacher , prayer warrior. Thanks Jesus

Dear JESUS

(AW)…

Day 205… A REASON TO CELEBRATE

So Solomon observed the festival at that time, and all Israel with him-a vast assembly, people from Lebo Hamath to the Wadi of Egypt. They celebrated it before the LORD our God for seven days and seven days more, fourteen days in all. I Kings 8:65

12-4-02
Fourteen days they celebrated over the earthly temple in 1Kings 8:65. How much more should we celebrate since now we are that Temple via JESUS? !!!

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 206… WHAT IS YOUR TRUST IN?

Kind Solomon, however, loved many foreign women besides Pharaoh’s daughter- Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Sidonians and Hittites. They were from nations about which the LORD had told the Israelites, “You must not intermarry with them, because they will surely turn your hearts after their gods.” Nevertheless, Solomon held fast to them in love. I Kings 11:1,2

12-10-02
How can Soloman be the wisest man ever, if in I Kings 11:2, he does what he does? Did he think he was smarter than God? Did his gift of wisdom give him a false sense of security in his ability to resist temptation? Or did he just flat out sin and go against God? I guess wisdom alone cannot keep one from sinning. Ponder this a moment. Only God can protect you from the devil who desires to devour you. Study I Peter 5:8and Matthew 6:38.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 207… LESSONS FROM BUYING A CAR

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

12-15-02
Well we now have a 2002 Pontiac Bonneville sticker price $27,650 plus $870 tax/title. We purchased it for $19,999 plus tax and title. God saved us over $7,500 . Incredible. We didn’t trade in the old car. They only offered $700. We said no way. We think we will donate it to the boys ranch to help them and get a tax write off. I love God. I know He Knows. I must be honest. This was one of our first major purchases. Nervousness, guilt etc. went through my mind.
1. Shouldn’t I use this money for God? Response- we tithe and go beyond- the car would help us do our daily ministry and be safer for Lara on dependability. Not only that, God gave us such a huge savings. We get a new car without taking the new car depreciation hit when one drives it off the lot.
2. I don’t want to be in debt again. Response- $20,000 is a small price for my wife’s safety. If she had broken down and was abused I’d be mad at myself.
3. I had prayed both old cars would last till my medical obstetrics gynecology residency was over. Response- by faith I believe God would’ve honored that prayer if thats what He wanted. I also believe He wants to bless His Kids and do something nice for us and let us have the car.
4. Why not a used car?- Response- If you’ve ever bought something- Shoes etc a certain price is paid for a quality that last. Past that point is a waste of money and before that point the quality is so poor it falls apart. My watch cost $150 dollars 6 years ago. I used to get $25.00 watches once a year. Now I’ve broke almost even having to get new battery/bands- yet I have a much nicer watch. In this case, getting the car for the price we did with 3 year 30,000 mile waranty that we purchased quality without going into wastefulness. Only God knows, my daughter to be, maybe one day driving this car. (expression of faith).

Dear JESUS

(AW)…

Day 208… MAKING MONEY

For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs. But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness. I Timothy 6:10,11

12-21-02
I now know that I’m able to handle projects to make money that involve a pyramid system. Why? Because I now have the maturity to know I don’t want to get rich that way. I guess that is how you know you are ready for it.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 209… PRICELESS GIFTS

“For God so Loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

12-23-02
God has shown me my greatest gifts this Christmas are not wrapped. After 9 months of about 100 hour work weeks, unbelievable schedules, and several weeks seeing Lara only 2-5 hours, I realize my gifts are bing home for Christmas the first time in 4 years . Home with Lara for Christmas first time ever. Priceless value of family, friends, relatives and most of all the real value of Our relationship my Husband Jesus. I do love God.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 210… JOINING GOD WHERE HE IS AT WORK

For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the man’s spirit within him? In the same way no one know the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. We have not received the spirit of the world but the Spirit who is from God, that we may understand what God has freely given us. 1 Corinthians 2:10,11

12-23-02
Joining God where HE is at work may be more than just joining a “Christian Function.” It was for me. I started in a “Christian Medical Residency Program.” I wanted to be a medical missionary and this seemed like a logical step in joining God. Wrong!
God moved me to an obstetrics and gynecology residency in the North East (not the Bible Belt) with multiple lost faculty that were teaching me. It wasn’t joing what I’d picture You wanted but it was definitely Your Will. Being a Light in the darkness. My Goal: to join God where He is at work and use the Holy Spirit as my Guide not the “fleating ways of the world.”

Prayer: Jesus I Love YOU!!!
Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 211… GOD’S WAY- NOT THE “MAN OF GOD’S WAY”

The old prophet answered, “I too am a prophet, as you are. And an angel said to me by the word of the LORD: ‘Bring him back with you to your house so that he may eat bread and drink water.’” (But he ways lying to him.) I Kings 13:18

12-23-02
PLEASE READ 1 Kings 13:15-26
Should we do what God says even if it contradicts a fellow “Christian Elder/Prophet?” The point is we must believe in what God told us not man. At the same time, God will only tell us to do something that does NOT contradict His Word the Bible!!!

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 212… GOD’S WAY VS HEALTH AND WEALTH MODERN DAY RELIGION

So Jeroboam’s wife did what he said and went to Ahijah’s house in Shiloh. Now Ahijah could not see; his sight was gone because of his age. I Kings 14:4

12-25-02
I Kings 14:4 Ahijah had lost his sight. Yet he is God’s prophet. Does this fit with modern day religion?
Really ponder this. Realize he may have lost physical sight but certainly he didn’t lose spiritual sight.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 213… TRUTH

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. John 10:10

01-01-03
I was talking to one of the Obstetrical nurses named Claudette of the hidden fear of failing out of the obstetrics and gynecology residency program at Crozer. She said the Lord is not going to allow me to fail and that is a message I should’ve accepted long ago. The Truth of it hit me. The devil is a liar.
Prayer: GOD thanks or the certainty of my future in You.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 214… ENDURING INJUSTICE TO WITNESS

Then He said to His disciples, “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few, Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into His harvest field.” Matthew 9:37,38

01-06-03
In the morning, writing to the Lord, I wrote of having conflict with my chief resident Egu. He is – in God’s Hands. I’m tired of thinking about it. I have much more important things to think about. That very day many had called in sick. Babalola, another resident, and I helped with rounds on patients . Egu said thank you. The lesson, the key, is not if I’m being dished out injustice, but, the key is am I being a witness to Egu, Babalola , and others . May I not forget this.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 215… GRACE

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of Life set me free from the law of sin and death. Romans 8:1,2

1-11-03
Lara, my wife, and I were on paths of destruction. We both deserved damnation and yet God in His Mercy showed Mercy and Grace. Now the product of that Grace has taken human form in my wife as our first child- named Grace.
Reflect on God’s Grace and Mercy to you.
Prayer: God the child is Yours. Please fulfill Your Dreams in the child.

Dear JESUS

(AW)…

Day 216… NO COMPLAINING – YOU MAY MISS THE WITNESSING OPPORTUNITY OF A LIFETIME

1-24-03
My big CREOG exam (test taken by obstetric and gynecology residents each year to see how you compare with other residents) was the next day. Myself and another resident had been working 16 hours and so I called Dr Heweltt (the residency director) and told several residents we should get to leave. The problem is I didn’t consult God first. How much better to have prayed and watch God pull off the same thing. My heart would’ve been at peace the whole time. I would know I did not miss a witnessing opportunity. I would have been working under God’s Anointing instead of my “power”.

Dear JESUS

(AW)…

Day 217… WHAT IF CIRCUMSTANCES WERE REVERSED

1-27-06
A patient was 38 weeks pregnant with little prenatal care. She refused vaginal exam for this and her last pregnancy. A little difficult to take care of her pregnancy if you can’t examen her. She also had sickle cell disease and would use the excuse of a sickle cell attack to goto the hospital to get morphine. She truly was addicted to morphine. She came in last night to the hospital. She normally will not talk and if she does it can be nasty. She doesn’t seem to care her baby has a 2 vessel cord instead of 3, possible hypoplastic heart, coarctation of the aorta, sinus inverta (organs on the wrong side) and polyhydraminos (to much water around the baby.). I get so angry with this patient continually abusing the system for her narcotic habit. Eleven discharge summaries (written on discharge to explain events of hospitalization) in the years 2002 alone at our hospital . I wonder how many at other hospitals. Even her nephew, 1year old, was effected. He died by overdose of getting into her oxcotin. The point the LORD helped me realize this morning, if nothing else, I can encourage her to help her baby and help the baby be delivered at a location where neonatal surgery can be done. I can encourage this patient in God. She needs a miracle. May I not be arrogant prejudice or pompous. I wonder if circumstances were reversed if I’d do the same? Regardless may I show her God’s Love. The Tough Love yes but God’s Love.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 218… WOLF

Jesus answered: “Watch out that no one deceives you. For many will come in My Name, claiming, ‘I am the Christ,’ and will deceive many. Matthew 24:4,5

1-31-03
Earlier in the week I wrote how a patient kept calling”wolf” i.e. using her sickle cell disease to get narcotics even when she wasn’t in crisis. She is about 38 weeks pregnant and last time left against medical advice after not getting intravenous narcotics. Today she arrived in the Emergency room with arm and leg pain. I wonder if she didn’t say stomach because the would call her to us? Anyways she delivered in the toilet in the Emergency Room. The lesson for me:- always intervene for the baby even if the mother is totally inappropriate. Second: no matter how many times a patient calls, wolf one must prove it is or is not a wolf. The same is true in spiritual matters. Is a person claiming to be from God really from God?

Dear JESUS

(AW)…

Day 219… GOD’S PROMISES

“For God so Loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

2-8-03
The beauty of a promise – we can hold onto them. The key is faith in God’s True Love for us.
Thank You GOD
God will never leave us nor forsake us. Hebrews 13:5
A 1,000 shall fall at my side 10,000 at my right hand but it will not come near me. Psalm 91:7
Your angels will protect me from dashing my foot on the rock. Psalm 91:11,12
That if God is for me no one can be against. me Romans 8:31
What can man do to me? Hebrews 13:6
That You are the Way the Truth the Life. John 14:6
That I can do all things through You. Philippians 4:13
By Your Stripes I am healed. Isaiah 53:5

Is something bothering you today. CLAIM YOUR PROMISE- FAITH!!!!!

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 220… FALSE SECURITY

“However, if you say,’We will not stay in this land,’and so obey the LORD you God, and if you say,’No, we will go and live in Egypt, where we will not see war or hear the trumpet or be hungry for bread,’ then hear the Word of the LORD, O remnant of Judah. This is what the LORD almighty, the God of Israel, says:’If you are determined to go to Egypt and you do go to settle there, then the sword you fear will overtake you there, and the famine you dread will follow you into Egypt, and there you will die. Jeremiah 42:13-16

2-17-03
Jeremiah 42:16 Hundreds of years after freedom from Egypt, they are still trying to escape back to Egypt for “safety.” As Christians today do we not also try to retreat back to our former slavery? For some reason we think it brings happiness. That is of course until it hurts us or destroys us.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 221… TRUE HERO

Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s Wrath, for it is written:”It is Mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. Romans 12:19

2-23-03
For years I’ve wanted to be lone hero. Rambo if you will. Or how about Jean Claude Van Dame or James Bond. Yet, as I grow in God, I realize the prior heroes are further from God’s Will than a “plain jane” sinner. They have seem to have some purity. But, its actually a false purity. Sinning to obtain a”good” is not the correct path. The prior heroes are self sufficient and take care of their enemies. Yet as a Christian, I’m to trust God for strength. I am to lay my enemies in God’s Hands. God is my Eternal Mate and Love.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 222… GOT PRAISE?

How can you believe if you accept praise from one another, yet make no effort to obtain the praise that comes from the only God?

2-24-03
Prayer: Dad may I obtain the praise that comes from the only God – John 5:44

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 223… IS THE GRASS GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE?

Until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ. Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. Ephesians 4: 13,14

3-7-03
I am 31years old and yesterday my mom insisted I get a haircut. As I sat at the barbara shop, the Lord reminded me of a thought I struggle with: if only I could be 15 years old again with the knowledge I know today. Sounds great. But, I realized, at 15 years old, it would be common to be told to get a haircut from my parents, to have a set time to be home, no drives license, to have bells telling you when to goto each class etc. In other words, being 15 years old again would mean losing a lot of the respect/dignity the Lord has given me. The reality is it would not be all rosy.

Dear JESUS

(AW)…

Day 224… RIGHT WITH GOD?

Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into Your Kingdom.” Jesus answered him, “I tell you the truth, today you will be with Me in paradise.” Luke 2:42,43

3-8-03
What is your true motive? Often I and probably many others wish they could go back in time and change an event that occurred in their life. Why? Is it for power, lust, embarrassment or other. Regardless, really think about the following.
If GOD/ JEHOVAH/ JESUS has forgiven and fixed us, what is the point? He is the only ONE that we are to impress. If your in a right standing with Him what else matters?

Lets get on living rather than living in the past.

Dear JESUS

(AW)…

Day 225… STRUGGLING WITH NO? (KEEP THIS ONE????????)

Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one. Matthew 5:37

3-21-03
Its odd. I so badly want to be invited to do stuff with people. Yet, until I spend some quality time with my wife, I don’t want to spend time with anyone else. Or, am I just hiding under the pretense of that excuse to avoid certain people? I do think I need to learn to say no. However, when I do say no I pray it is for the correct reasons.

Dear JESUS

(AW)…

Day 226… SELF HELP- A SURE PRODUCT

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. John 10:10

3-21-03
At an auction, I bought, for a few dollars, a personal power series of booklets printed in 1950 or 1955 on how to remember names etc. Almost 55 years ago. Yet, last night on Ebay I searched greater than 80 plus self help etc products. So after 55 years of “self help” why do so many products still exist? What we really need is GOD. God gives peace, hope, true meaning to life, wisdom, abilities, and so much more.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 227… OVERWHELMED

3-23-03

My prayer: God I need YOU every single moment, every single day, 100% of everything and anything. I think of the complexity of all scenarios, divine appointments, financially etc. It is beyond me. Take residency for instance: who will be the residents for next year and all years to come, me being chief residency and my role there, cases I need before graduation, how to impact all around me for Jesus, what topics to speak on, order of rotations, where to go after I graduate, what topics to study, on and on and on. I NEED YOU!!!
Side note: now that the above are done- YEP HE DID IT. I am completely board certified ob/gyn. Guess what though, now I have a new set of questions. But, I know HE WILL DO IT AGAIN. HE really does Love you and me.

Dear JESUS

(AW)…

Day 228… WANTING REVENGE?

Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s Wrath, for it is written:”It is Mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. Romans 12:19

3-27-03
Yesterday- one the two resident during my obstetrics and gynecology residency that I have historically had so many problems with, asked me for my recommendation on what Bible to get with topical index. Wow. I never imagined that question. It shows God can do the impossible and ones testimony is critical not to lose no matter how much you don’t “like” someone.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 229… TRULY HELPING

Wounds from a friend can be trusted, bu an enemy multiplies kisses. Proverbs 27:6

3-28-03
I filled out student evaluations yesterday on medical students rotating through obstetrics and gynecology. Its hard for me to fill them out. I don’t want to be criticized or judge and don’t like to do it to others. At the same time, if someone doesn’t help them with pointers it may one day result in disaster for them or a patient. So by failing a failing student you may be helping them and or others. Motive is critical.
What friend needs your “true help?” Perhaps a friend drinking to much alcohol or watching to much internet pornography etc.

Dear Jesus

(AW)..

Day 230… ALL STRENGTH!!!

I can do everything through Him who give me strength. Philippians 4:13

4-2-03
Now that I’m off of working a 36hour shift every 4th night, I feel just as tire even though I’m sleeping about 7 hours a night. Surely it is true. God supernaturally gave me strength to do it. Now that I’m supposed to have all this extra time I don’t. What do you need to trust God to Strengthen you to do?

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 231… GROWING A CROP?

But as for me, my feet had almost slipped; I had nearly lost my foothold. For I envied the arrogant when I saw th prosperity of the wicked. When I tried to understand all this, it was oppressive to me till I entered the sanctuary of God; then I understood their final destiny. Psalm 73:2,3,16,17

4-4-03
I thank God for Him being Awesome. Yesterday was nice. I think the difference was helping others when I didn’t have to. Non selfish work produces a crop. Selfish work seems productive but is not.

Dear JESUS

(AW)…

Day 232… TREAT THEM LIKE ROYALTY

Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him, “Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? James 2 15,16

4-13-03
I spent time with my wife. You blessed us with tickets to see Daniel at the Sight and Sound theater in Lancaster P.A. The place was so lavish. The effects were absolutely incredible. They brought the Bible story of Daniel to life. Thank God. It brought honor and glory to God for something to be done so professionally. It reminds me of a goal: that I always treat my patients and family like royalty to show the love of CHRIST. A plush office, respecter of their appointment time, and give each my undivided attention. Again, thus showing them Jesus.
Who do you need to show some “professional courtesy?”

Dear JESUS

(AW)…

Day 233… SHUT YOUR MOUTH

5-14-03
I have been missing blessings by focusing on circumstances. My lack of faith and my mouth are causing me more problems than the circumstances I am complaining about. I told a junior resident why wasn’t he getting to do the hysterectomy surgery that day. I thought an “off rotation” senior resident was going to take it. It turns out, I was his senior “on the rotation” and thus I lost the case. You see God had provided me a hysterectomy to do. The attending I was going to work with was out of town on vacation thus freeing me up to go over to the other attending and do the hysterectomy. By this time, I had already made my statement against the other “mean seniors.” What has your mouth cost you or lack of faith focusing on circumstances?

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 234… FAITH

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1

5-18-03
Its funny, I was concerned about calling a doctor whom I had planned to buy his office from him and take over his obstetrics and gynecology practice. The concern was all the what if’s in my mind. I didn’t want anything to go wrong as this was a dream of mine. I saw Lara, my wife, and told her I was nervous calling him. It was like when I was calling Lara for the first time. God made me realize at that moment if I hadn’t called Lara I wouldn’t have Lara as my wife. I had peace to call and called him.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 235… KINGDOM BOUND

But seek first His Kingdom and His Righteousness, and all these thing will be given to you as well.
Matthew 6:33

5-20-03
It is possible to work making $100,000 less than I could at another job and yet be in God’s Will. By being in His Will that makes me the “wealthiest” man alive. If I invented something and sit on the patent rather than market it and by doing so stay in God’s Will, I’m wealthier than if I had a billion dollar deal. That is Kingdom Thinking. What thinking do you need to do?

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 236… A MATTER OF THE HEART

Jesus sat down opposite the palace where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a fraction of a penny. Calling His disciples to Him, Jesus said, “I tell you the truth, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. Mark 12:41-43

5-22-03
I remember the widow’s two mites. She gave more than the rest. It is a matter of the heart. My wife Lara’s parents served in Long Island New York for 40 years in a difficult area for the “church” rather than in a “mega church” in the south. Again, this was a matter of the heart. Which is correct- taking a job that pays twice as much or twice as less as you are currently making. It depends. What truly is God’s Will. What truly is your motivation. Remember, “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Matthew 7:21

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 237… A LOOK IN THE SPIRITUAL MIRROR

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 2 Corinthians 4: 8-10

5-25-03
I must confess, this has been an eye opening week of vacation. I looked in the “spiritual mirror” and didn’t like what I saw. It wasn’t easy to look – after all I had convinced myself I deceived certain things.
For one, I realized I was coveting my neighbors success who rips off the “system” at the cost of others. God blessed me by reminding me that their ”success” in HIS Eyes has no eternal value. If anything , it may be a stumbling block to their salvation i.e. knowing God. Secondly, I have been blessed to be the chief resident. All should submit to me now- right? Actually, I am to serve even more now as chief. Finally, I was reminded that forcing issues will push people from God. I learned this as a young teen when I used to debate spiritual things. It only caused division. Winning peoples confidence by love, acts of service , accomplishing things only possible through CHRIST are what really gets peoples attention.
May I store up treasures in Heaven and not on earth where moth and rust destroy. See Matthew 6:20.
May I be all things to all people so that some might be saved. I Corinthians 9:22

In summary: May I seek first the Kingdom of God and His Righteousness then all these things shall be added unto me. See Matthew 6:43

Dear JESUS

(AW)…

Day 238… REMEMBERING

“For God so Loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

5-26-03
A prayer to God. Great Morning Daddy. How are You? Its Monday- memorial day. Today we celebrate those who died to give us freedom. Yet, I remember You who gave/gives/will give always those who trust in You the True Victory: Freedom

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 239… NOT SUCCUMBING TO PEER PRESSURE

“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it. “Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves. Matthew 7:13-15

6-12-03
Doing what is right does not always mean giving in. Yesterday, God established me as the new chief resident in the Obstetrics and Gynecology residency that I am in. It is challenging because I like to help people obtain their wants. However, to make the call schedule (which persons stay in the hospital all night covering events) be equal for all- for the year and first holiday meant someone wouldn’t get their “want.” Actually 4 of the residents who want off are going to be put on. Those 4 may be upset but I realize the integrity of the residency is preserved. Keeping it fair and equal. Again, doing what is right does not always mean giving in.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 240… POWER UP

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

6-30-03
The lesson of a power outage…
All weekend, especially yesterday, I was nervous about gyn oncology rotation, the call schedule, journal club (where we go over a journal for its relevancy to practice), evaluations, and studying. Yet, after awaking my fourth time of the night, about 330 AM secondary to a car alarm which was secondary to a power outage, God taught me a good lesson: I can see. As I struggled in the dark (a/c off, ice box off, bedroom phone off.) I couldn’t see. Without “site,” I couldn’t operate. Yet, God provides so I can see. Like sight, God has gifted me to help people in a unique way. So rather than fret, I realized it is an honor to start gyn oncology today. Few people get to do what God has blessed me to do today. So may I quit worrying and start helping.
Prayer: Thanks God for my unique ministry. I may not have penned this well but You know my heart. With that in mind I’m penning this by flashlight.
What gifts do you need to use for God even if by “flash light?”

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 241… LOVE THE SINNER

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Ephesians 6: 12

7-1-03
We had journal club at doctor Laver’s. He is a antiques buff. It’s interesting getting to know people. He also performs abortions. Love the sinner hate the sin. May I never forget who the true enemy is and please send harvesters to help the Laver’s know You as Savior and Lord.
Who are you treating as an enemy instead of the “real enemy?” Show them Christ’s Love today.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 242… GARBAGE IN

7-19-03
Television, in the end, it really is 99% of the time, a waste of time. As a matter of fact, the false teachings picked up can deviate ones thinking in what makes an appropriate wife or husband. Really ponder this.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 243… JOINING GOD WHERE HE IS AT WORK

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

7-22-03
I remember being apart of a Bible study called “Experiencing God” by Henry Blackaby. One of the steps was to join God where He is at work rather than expecting Him to join you. But what does that mean. Well I found out what it really means to join God where HE is at work… I moved from TX to PA away from my main family. I have been at Crozer Hospital in Obstetrics and Gynecology residency for 3+ years. I’m now with a new understanding of what it means to join You where You are at work. One must understand I thought to join God I needed to go to a residency that had praying residents, was a Christian residency where residents went on mission trips (surely that must be God’s Will and were I would join Him.) Instead, here there are lost residents, lost attendings and lost patients. The need is great. God is at work here!!!

Prayer JESUS may whoever is reading this really grasp this.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 244… IS YOUR COMPUTER CRASHING?

Then He said to me, “Prophesy to these bones and say to them, ‘Dry bones, hear the Word of the LORD!
So I prophesied as He commanded me, and breath entered them; they came to life and stood up on their feet- a vast army. Ezekiel 37:4,10
“For God so Loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

7-27-03
I inherited a laptop computer at work passed down from two prior chief residents. I couldn’t even log on due to the password and it had several programs on it non work related- which I did not want. The intranet server prozied into it from afar and I watched the screen : it was like he was in the room. Password being changed- cleaning it up for me. Jesus does like this. He comes into you and fixes your crashed virus infected hard drive and gets you back on line with a new password, new virus protection program and 100% guarantee on His work all prepaid.
Thank You Jesus

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 245… FRUSTRATED FLESH

Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. James 3:13-15

8-13-03
Its interesting it was 7P.M. I’d been at work 13hours. I was definitely ready to go home. The person taking my place was held up in a room of lady who had lost her baby at 33weeks pregnant. My flesh was frustrated. Yet, this lady lost her baby. Without question, my goal is to never become so selfish that my needs override those of others. Especially when they just lost their kid.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 246… BEING A LIGHTHOUSE

“No one lights a lamp and hides it in a jar or puts it under a bed. Instead, he puts it on a stand, so that those who come in can see the light. Luke 8:16

8-20-03
A church couples child was honored as an Eagle Scout last night. Yet, he via You honnored Lara and I with a railroad tie that on it inscribe: thank you Dan Schide Eagle 2003. He gave it to those people who influenced his life. Prayer: Thank You Daddy. I guess we don’t know whose life we might be affecting.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 247… GOD IS FAITHFUL

In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the Gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1:4-6

8-26-03
A fellow resident in obstetrics and gynecology did not pass step 3 of his testing necessary for residency.. Likely, he will be terminated from the residency. He is currently repeating his 4th year. Dad – all that time (4 years of medical school and 5 years of residency.) Yesterday, I struggled with this on many levels. I have, by You, realized You are faithful to complete the goodwork You have begun . Perhaps You want him back in Brittan. Perhaps a special lady awaits him somewhere else. Perhaps ,You want him to be near family. You used Crozer to heal me from what happened in family practice residency. I know You can use something to heal this resident.
P.S. This resident did get terminated but was accepted in another program and went on to graduate.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 248… FEEL ENTITLEMENT IS OWED YOU?

For it is we who are the circumcision, we who worship by the Spirit of God, who glory in Christ Jesus, and who put no confidence in the flesh- though I myself have reasons for such confidence. If anyone else thinks he has reasons to put confidence in the flesh, I have more: circumcised on the eighth day, of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; in regard to the law, a Pharisee; as for zeal, persecuting the church; as for legalistic righteousness, faultless. Philippians 3:3-6

8-26-03
If the resident mentioned on the prior days devotional is terminated, all of his duties (more grand rounds lectures to give, more call- being there all night, night float, rescheduling/making schedules) will fall back on his fellow residents. This could be definite grounds for frustration at this extra burden especially if one feels “entitlement.” Yet, we are to be light in the darkness. Salt to the world!!!
WE DO NOT THINK LIKE THE WORLD!!!
No one serving as a soldier gets involved in civilian affairs- he wants to please his commanding officer. 2 Timothy 2:4

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 249… WEEDS IN YOUR GARDEN

“For false Christ and false prophets will appear and perform great signs and miracles to deceive even the elect-if that were possible.” Matthew 24:24

6-19-01
Sometimes, by our ignorance, we grow weeds and don’t know that is what they are. I once grew pumpkins from my seventh story balcony. I only planted certain seeds. I had a friend come over to check out my progress. 2 excellent looking vines. I was shocked when he told me one was a weed. Where did that weed come from? Regardless, it was sucking nutrients from my pumpkins and I didn’t even know that is what it
was.

What’s in your “garden?”

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 250… WEEDING

6-20-01
Lara pulled the weeds up from our garden (on the 7th story balcony off the apartment we live in.) The problem: I had been growing them for months and thought they were flowers..
How many times have you been growing a weed truly believing its GOD’S Will. Be careful weeds/flowers can look a lot alike but weeds suck up all the nutrients in Your soil!
Ever heard of a church splitting? Which ½ thought their weeds were flowers? BEWARE
Take a good look at your life and do some weeding before disaster strikes.

Prayer: Dad give us eyes to recognize”weeds” from “flowers”. Please.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 251… GOING HIGHER

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

7-11-01
Have you ever received a new pair of shoes or a new sofa chair? You put them on the new shoes or sit in the new sofa and “ouch.” They are not comfortable. They are pretty but not broken in. Conversely, one old stuff is comfortable but soon will wear out. Though not fun and maybe a little painful it is better to break in the new before the old breaks. Jesus has new levels He wants to take you. You must get out of the comfort zone and bear the fruit. Remember John 15:5 “I am the Vine; you are the branches. I f a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from Me you can do nothing. John 15:5

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 252… LANDMINES

Be self -controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prows around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” I Peter 5:8

7-14-01
We went to an auction last night. I almost bid on a rocking chair. Lara almost bid on some dishes. The irony is we don’t need the chair or dishes. The only reason we almost bid was because we were there! The lesson: if you don’t want to gamble – don’t go to Vegas. Or if you don’t want to lust, don’t watch a porno movie. I’m not saying lock yourself up. Locking yourself up will prevent you from “working the harvest field.” Instead, be careful not to put self in unnecessary danger.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 253… FRIENDSHIP

A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24

7-24-01
When an acquaintance becomes a friend is a mystery.
If you have figured it out, then help others to become God’s Friends.
Really ponder this

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 254… FACING THE GIANT

As the Philistine moved closer to attack him, David ran quickly toward the battle line to meet him. I Samuel 17:48

7-25-01
God really intervened on my part. My residency director’s boss- the chairman of the entire obstetrical and gynecological department really intimidated me. He is a sub-specialist known for his dictatorship and known as “the general.” I have been working with him off and on the last few weeks. Yesterday, I scrubed in on a laparoscopic surgery with him and another doctor. Guess what? He was learning to do a surgery that I could already do. What do you know?. God is Amazing! God reminded me- God is God. The “general” is only a man.

Prayer: Jesus, I put my trust hope all in YOU!

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 255… ALWAYS NEEDED Keep?

A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24

7-30-01
I think I finally understand what is bothering me. Last year, at the residency, I knew they had to have me. Now, it is more stable. This makes me uneasy. On further inspection, God used my wife to show me they still need me in a different way. They need someone who will be a true friend to all. Actually this is a must! Not only in my job but in yours as well or in your community. Why? Because people need a Firm Anchor to hold on to. We know there is only One: JESUS CHRIST!!! Be like the hymnal Let the lower lights be burning: which says “ Some poor struggling seaman you may rescue you may save.”

Realize, no matter what you do- you are needed!!!
Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 256… QUIET TIMES WITH GOD

Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My Voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with Me. Revelations 3:20

8-2-01
When one takes call as a resident they may be seeing patients all night long. Even if I was sleeping and they say we have a new patient to be evaluated, I get up and go see them. How much more if they called and say we have Jesus here for you to evaluate. I’d probably get up and run to see Him. Wouldn’t you?
So why in the mornings do I have so much trouble waking up for my quiet times with Jesus. Realize the Truth of the matter is that Jesus is waiting everyday for me to evaluate Him.
Think about this: Jesus is waiting to spend some time with you.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 256… MORE THAN A FEELING (Can I use this title from boston)

In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God’s Word all over again. You need milk, not solid food! Hebrews 5:11

8-12-01
I miss feeling “the anointing.” Perhaps now what I feel is not baby milk but true meat.
Ponder this.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 257… FIGHT OR GRACE

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. I Corinthians 13: 4-7
8-22-01
Yesterday, Lara, my wife, had moved my car to the complete other parking lot of the complex. I was already running behind and this didn’t help. Later, in the day Lara and I argued on a time for dinner at friends. I arrived, after working, at the friends house. My wife and my friend’s wife were not there. In fact they were gone for 45 minutes and dinner was not for 1 ½ hours. My chance to fight or show grace had arrived. My goal was to show grace.
Dr. James Dobson talks about choosing fights wisely. This is a good example. Arguing this would have been pointless. She is a great wife. Better to encourage her.

Prayer: I love You Jesus. May we be wise in what we make a “big” deal.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 258… ALL THINGS FOR GOOD

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28

8-28-01
Yet again, appearances can be deceiving. Last night rather than one person to help me with call we had two. Also we had less patients. This call night should have been great. But, in the end I got less sleep than normal.
Circumstances do not dictate TRUTH. No matter what you are going through: cancer, death, divorce, abuse, if you love God, God has your best interest in mind. He works all things for good.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 259 BEING THE GOOD SAMARITAN

But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, took him to an inn and took care of him. The next day he took out two silver coins and gave them to the inn keeper. ‘Look after him,’ he said, ‘and when I return I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.’ Luke 10:33-36

9-4-01
Lara begins her teaching again today. May it be a great semester of growth and fun for her. How different one becomes towards teachers when they quit being the student and start being the teacher. They realize the teacher is not a jerk. Or kids realize their parents aren’t stupid. Are you having trouble with someone? Make sure you put yourself in their shoes.

Dear JESUS

(AW)…

Day 260… LIGHT WITH DARKNESS

Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with a unbeliever? 2 Corinthians 6:14,15

9-7-01
My wife is names Lara. She has a friend and her friend’s boyfriend are coming for a visit. He is not a Christian. As I’ve watched them date, I realize how much better it would have been if they’d never started dating because he is not a Christian. He cannot meet her needs to fill in the hole that only a Christian husband can- security, wisdom from God, head of household, encouraging God’s plan in her life, and helping synergize in Christ to be more than they are apart. The sad part is with each passing day, she becomes more emotionally involved. Now a breakup would be hard on her. How many times I have seen this scenario in couples now.

Prayer: Jesus please give me and Lara utterance to be a great witness for him on Your Love.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 261… OVERWHELMED- GOD GIVES REST AND WORKS ALL FOR GOOD

“Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Take My Yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am Gentle and Humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My Yoke is easy and My Burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28

9-10-01
To God…
God it has been tough being so tired due to residency hours. I fell asleep talking on the phone to a loved one yesterday. The thing is events I treaure i.e. someone I desire to talk such as. a loved family member or a best friend becomes an obligation and or chore instead of a joy and a time of relief. Also, it just seems on so many major issues in my life there is just little tiny elements not allowing me peace. For instance the constant sensation I should be studying. You are my Hope/Peace please may I fine tune into You – Your Yoke easy/burden light.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 262… DIFFICULT DECISIONS

Therefore, I urge you brothers, in view of God’s Mercy to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God- this is your spiritual act of worship. Romans 12:1

9-10-01
A deacon at church invited me to the Dover Down race car races. But, it occurs on Sunday. I don’t want to forsake gathering myself together with fellow believers. Yet, I don’t want to be a “pharisee” and miss out on grace. What about going on Saturday instead? Deep down when faced with faced with this question or any question I must really evaluate my true motives. Do I really Love God or am I just twisting religious truths to get my way? Am I really offering my body as a living sacrifice all day everyday all the time?
Prayer: God what would Jesus Do?

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 263… THE TRUE ENEMY

Be self -controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prows around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” I Peter 5:8

9-13-01
I just couldn’t believe it as I watch the airplanes fly smack into the trade center. Unbelievable, all the lives of the airplane passengers and thousands and thousands of people inside. What a tradgedy. Even more unbelievable was watching video footage of people (the supposed enemy) cheering. How with so many innocent lives lost could they be cheering? Then I remembered, I to wanted to see us blow them sky high after this event. How sad. The devil has taken the focus of himself and twisted truth so these people die for him thinking they are doing God’s Will. The point, my job is to love the sinner and hate the sin. Vengeance is Mine Says the Lord- Romans 12:19. On the contrary if your enemy is hungry, feed him, if thirsty give him something to drink-Romans 12:20. Remember who the true enemy is and to love the sinner and hate the sin!!!

Dear JESUS

(AW)…

Day 264 HARVEST TIME

Then He said to His disciples, “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few, Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into His harvest field.” Matthew 9:37,38

9-15-01
We’ve already enjoyed seeing the harvest of pumpkins and gourds on the balcony off of the seventh story apartment building we live in. We had planted them and ran the vines along rain gutters. The vines recently appeared to be wasting away. Yet God has given the vines new life- with multiple gourds and another pumpkin growing. We harvested about a 6-8 inch watermelon and divided into 4’s when my parents were down. God’s ability to have a seed reproduce itself into something thats edible with seeds to do it all over again is nothing short of incredible. This occurs in us too.
I thank God for the harvest in my live and for what God is planning to do with me.
Prayer: Thank You God You keep generating new seeds in me.
What seeds are you harvesting?

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 265… RELIGION VERSES RELATIONSHIP

9-15-01
Prayer… Dad as I watch the national prayer meeting on t.v. after the 9-11 tragedy. How sad watching the main “Christian” groups get up and read Your Word so mechanically rather than vibrantly as one filled with the Holy SPIRIT.
I am not sure some of them even really know YOU!

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 266… SALVATION ASSURANCE

But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans 5:8

9-15-0-1
I know my wife. She would never cheat on me. After knowing her 5 years and all we’ve been through, I know this to be true. Even more so having been saved 22 years, I know and sense God, His Salvation, and constant Presence to be true. I remember doubting my salvation years ago. How could I be sure? Now there is no question. I know and have a relationship with God. He holds me. I love Him.

for,”Everyone who calls on the Name of the Lord will be saved.” Romans 10:13
Do you know Him? How about sharing Him with someone who needs Him today.

Dear JESUS

(AW)…

Day 267… LETTING GOD BE GOD!!!

Now when Joshua was near Jericho, he looked up and saw a Man standing in front of him with a drawn sword in His Hand. Joshua went up to him and asked,”Are You for us or for our enemies?” “Neither,” He replied, “but as Commander of the army of the LORD I have now come. Then Joshua fell face down to the ground in reverence, and asked Him, “What Message does my Lord have for his servant?” Joshua 5: 13,14

9-20-01
Realize God didn’t come to take sides but to take over.

Have you let HIM take over?

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 268… THE BEST PERSONAL SUCCESS PROGRAM

“So the last will be first, and the first will be last.” Matthew 20:16

Then He called the crowd to Him along with His disciples and said:”If anyone would come after Me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow Me. Mark 8:34

9-23-01
Richard Lewis, a friend from church, pick me up the personal success books written in the 1950 or 60’s at an auction. Several of these were at Gano, a mission site in Houston, when I was a summer missionary in 1992. I wanted them then, but, felt they should go to some one else. Now almost 10 years later, I have around 25 booklets plus a folder on public speaking all for 3 bucks. God Is Amazing! As I read one of the booklets on how to be a leader, I agreed on some of its thoughts i.e. the sacrifice (counting the cost), persistence, etc. However, it didn’t say the first shall be last and to be a servant to all. Surely the Bible is the best personal success program ever written and one can pick it up for free. Even better, salvation is free through the Blood of JESUS.
Prayer: God refocus our eyes so we can see the Truth of the circumstances all around us.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 269… LEARNING FROM A GARDEN

Some of the Pharisees in the crowd said to Jesus, “Teacher, rebuke Your disciples!” “I tell you,” He replied, “if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out.” Luke 19: 39,40

10-02-01
What I learned from growing pumpkins. May Jesus help me write this so you understand. I planted my seeds perhaps to early. The freeze of winter came. Yet, in March, they started to grow. Quickly, I ran out of space. I had to transplant them into a bigger pot. Transplanting them seemed to put them in shock for 3 days. But after that they had more room and grew. I had friends over. I explained I was growing pumkins and gourds. I had about 2 obvious vines growing. My friend explained that what I thought was one of the vines was in fact a weed. He was right. All this time, I thought I was right. Does this sound familiar to something in your life? Again I wasn’t right and thus cost my real vine precious resources. I pulled the weed. Also, I didn’t know gourd vines and pumkin vines look alsmost identical. The need came more nutrients and thus more soil. Being together is fun. But as with the vines, if I didn’t separate them to give each more soil, they would choke life out of the other. Likewise, iron sharpens iron but not going out into the world and beig a click does not spread the Gospel.
Also, the vines have a constant need for daily or about daily watering. As Christians we have the same need: church/ quiet time. The birds came and pooped. Bees also came and pollinated. The birds I believe brought white fungus and killed much. Near the end premature harvesting was done form tiny bugs infestation from birds? Even 7 stories in the air, which is how high the garden was off of our seventh story apartment balcony, we thought the pumpkins were protected. But, in fact as written earlier, the same attack came and we had limited soil. What about those that try and escape into virtual computer worlds or monasteries.
We tried fertilizer but its not as good substitute for true soil.
Regardless, I learned a lot from the Lord from watching His creation reproduce: 14 gourds, 3 pumpkin, and 1 watermelon.

What could you learn from a garden?

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 270… SHARPEN UP YOUR SCYTHE

As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17

Then He said to His disciples, “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few, Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into His harvest field.” Matthew 9:37,38

10-2-01
It is good to sharpen each other. But, what good is it if one doesn’t use that sharpening to bring in the harvest?
Who do you need to harvest?

Dear JESUS

(AW)…

Day 271… HOW DO YOU LOVE GOD?

Love the LORD you God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. Deuteronomy 6:5

10-06-01
Have you ever thought about how one love’s the GOD of all? Really comprehend this. He is the One who could literally make you cease to exist. So what is the true form of love to give HIM?

The Bible gives us some insight in Deuteronomy 6:5. Loving Him encompasses a physical (strength), emotional/ mental (heart) and spirit (soul)component.

Are you truly sold out for GOD?

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 272… BEING A LIVING WITNESS

But Peter made him get up. “Stand up,” he said, “I am only a man myself.” Acts 10:26

10-27-01
Beware! Consider what all would’ve been lost if pride had kicked in for Peter. See verse 47 of the same chapter. The people spoke in tongues and were baptized in the name of Jesus Christ. If he had not corrected the people in verse 26 he might have cost them their salvation or would they have had another opportunity? That is a whole other subject to consider. For now though realize your actions are critical in bringing others to Christ!

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 273… SIN ENSLAVES YOUR FUTURE

So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. John 8:36

11-4-01
Imagine the problem of being a slave to sexual sin. Its been years now through Jesus I’ve had victory over this sin. This once chronic sin would’ve destroyed my current future. I wouldn’t be faithful to my wife. Thus, I wouldn’t have a marriage. If no marriage then I wouldn’t have my daughter. Also, can you imagine how I would be able to do my job as an obstetrician and gynecologist. I would not have. This would have been terrible. Imagine all the witnessing opportunities that would have been lost. Opportunities to prevent abortion, help women who have been abused or acquired a sexually transmitted disease or even who have cancer. My life as I know it would’ve all been lost over this one sin. Jesus freed me. What future are you losing? God can free you!!!

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 274… YOU CAN KNOW GOD!!!

Where is the wise man? Where is the scholar? Where is the philosopher of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? I Corinthians 1:20

I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” Luke 18:17

11-6-01
I know Jesus!- Seriously I know GOD.
Do you grasp it? You can know HIM too.
It may not be like you think. Just tell Him you want to talk and start talking.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 275… PERFECTED BY PERSECUTION?

Now those who had been scattered by the persecution in connection with Stephen traveled as far as Phoenicia, Cyprus and Antioch, telling the Message only to Jews. Some of them, however, men from Cyprus and Cyrene, went to Antioch and began to speak to Greeks also, telling them the Good News about the Lord Jesus. The Lord’s Hand was with them, and a great number of people believed and turned to the Lord. Acts 11: 19-21

11-12-01
Why do bad things happen to good people? Consider this- persecution happened to the Christians. But, the devils scheme backfired. Instead of quieting them the persecution spread them out and with it spread the Gospel. What persecution are you enduring that needs to be turned into a victory?

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 276 WRONG SIDE OF THE BED!

Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5

11-29-01
Having a bad day?
Last night, my wife wanted to call her parents. The phone is on my side of the bed. Literally, today, I awoke on the wrong side of the bed. But, I’m not worried for in Jesus waking up to Him on any side is perfect. Have you taken time to thank God He never leaves you nor forsakes you? Have you thanked Him that you never have to be alone?

Do you know someone that is lonely. How about introducing them to THE COMFORTER

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 277 MASKS

12-01-01
Some of the happiest go lucky people, who always do the most entertaining, I believe, are the loneliest people around. Remember yesterdays talk on people who are lonely? If you haven’t already, how about giving that person a call today.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 278 RELIGIOUS SELFISHNESS

I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

12-03-01
Lara told me of another person thinking of leaving Cedars church of Christ. I believe he wants a more progressive service. That had me thinking. I do also. But, I also realize, I am being spiritually fed there and my relationships with other believers there are good. The church has been undergoing a lot of change with an elder leaving, a new preacher ,and a divorcing couple. May I not be selfish. Rather than finding another congregation, may I seek Your greater Will for the congregation and believe its on the verge of something great.
Be careful not to run from your true calling because circumstances are not the easiest or most desirable.

Dear Jesus

(AW)

Day 279 NEVER ALONE

12-7-01
This morning while praying to God, I said good to be in God’s House this morning. I use the similiar expression when I’m at the church building greatful to get to meet and have church. I realized my first statement is correct: How good it is God uses me for His Temple and lives in me and wants to be with me. Why is it possible: the Blood of Jesus and with the promise God will never leave me nor forsake me. Glory to Jesus.

Today be bold in doing God’s Will- He is right there with you.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 280… DREAMS (Keep?)

And having been warned in a dream not to go back to Herod, they returned to their country by another route. Matthew 2:12

12-13-01
I may not have a dream like the one above, but I have many dreams. How sad not to. What dreams is God trying to give birth to in you?

Prayer: Thanks for dreams Daddy. I love You!

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 281… GOD WANTS YOU TO HAVE THE BEST!!!

Just then a woman who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years came up behind Him and touched the edge of His cloak. She said to herself,”If I only touch His cloak, I will be healed.” Jesus turned and saw her.”Take heart, daughter,”He said,”your faith has healed you.” And the woman was healed from that moment. Matthew 9:20-22

Please read Mark 5:25-34

12-14-01
Thank God He does not want us to take second best. Yes, I served God at Oklahoma in family practice residency. But, I was not near the husband or doctor I should be. God intervened and now I am in obstetrics and gynecology residency. I am honored to be in such a position and my joy is overflowing back onto my wife and God. As the verse above. The lady was healed of her issue of blood physically. Because God really loved her He had her confess the touch so she could go on and get the spiritual healing as well.

How about you. What area are you not believing God to do the BEST for you in.
Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 282 PEOPLE ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN THINGS

Now if a child can be circumcised on the Sabbath so that the law of Moses may not be broken, why are you angry with Me for healing the whole man on the Sabbath? Stop judging by mere appearances, and make a right judgment.” John 7:23,24

12-15-04
The “Jews” in the above verses were more concerned about the “law” than the person to the point they tried to seize Him (verse 30) not realizing He was the Messiah they were waiting on.

I remember I was at an auction were some of my friends were. I was so wrapped up in seeing the items, I missed really seeing them . May I not forget people are more important than things (A lesson from Dr. James Dobson from years ago).
Have you ever spent the day with someone only to realize true quality time was not even 5 minutes?
Think of your to do list. Is it filled with things to do or peoples lives to touch?

Take a moment and think of someone who you can make a difference in their life today and do it.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 283… BELIEVING WRONG OPINIONS

I can do everything through Him who give me strength. Philippians 4:13

12-16-01
May I never listen to the limitations of what I can achieve put on me by a person. If God wants me to suceed at something, I will. My wife remembers distinctly the meeting where 2 doctors and one psychologist told me I would need to remediate in family medicine internship and one of the doctors said I was not capable of ever being able to do obstetrics and gynecology. God said otherwise. Did I mention I went on to be the chief resident of a M.D. obstetrics and gynecology residency, I passed my oral and written boards on the first try and literally last night 1-8-08, God used me to help save a lady’s life.

Don’t listen to lies!!!

Dear JESUS

(AW)…

Day 284… TOUGH CIRCUMSTANCES MAY BE NECESSARY

No one serving as a soldier gets involved in civilian affairs- he wants to please his commanding officer. 2 Timothy 2:4

2-13-02
God thank You for divine appointments and endearing me to others. Both event, I’ve noticed, normally have similar external circumstances. Those circumstances normally are not pleasing. In fact, I’m normally irritated. To endear me to others, means I’m probably having to take up someone else’s slack. The divine appointment normally circumstantially seems absurd. But, eternity for someone may be in the balance. For example imagine being a doctor and getting a call at 10:30 p.m. to go see the person before you go home for a yeast infection. WHAT!!! Well things are not always as they seem. The lady turns out to be HIV positive, end stage renal disease female Christian needing encouragement.

May I not forget God’s Ways are greater than mine!

Are you looking with your eyes or “God’s” today? Be careful or you will miss the true blessings and circumstantially they may not be “easy!”

Dear Jesus

Day 285… FORTY DAYS

Jesus, full of the Holy Spirit, returned from the Jordan and was led by the Spirit in the desert, where for forty days He was tempted by the devil. He ate nothing, during those days, and at the end of them He was hungry. Luke 4:1,2

2-15-02
Today marks day 40 of me working without having a weekend off Saturday Sunday. Also, I have not slept in until I woke up on my own on any of those days. Tomorrow I will. Tonight after work, we travel to Lara’s parents. Wow, I do have this weekend off. The point is this is 40 days. When talking to my wife Lara about this, she said this was how long God was being tempted in the desert 40 days/nights. Let me tell you it hit me. 40 days is a LONG TIME. My respect for GOD definitely is increased!

CERTAINLY HE LOVES US!!!

And to think I complain if I have to work a few extra hours. Hmm

Dear JESUS

(AW)…

Day 286… GOD’S TIMING

Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had borne him no children. But she had an Egyptian maidservant named Hagar; so she said t Abram,”The LORD has kept me from having children. Go, sleep with my maidservant; perhaps I can build a family though her.” Genesis 16:1,2

2-16-02
The patent I was applying for was yet again rejected. I thought how the patent would be such a great witness for God and be a great source of income for my “ministry.” The problem, I was trying to do this on my timetable and do God a “favor.” God alone provides the witnessing and financial resources.
The rest of the story 1-12-2008: I did get the patent but it wasn’t the great income producer I had hoped for. In retrospect, if I had waited and trusted God for His timing I would have realized I was patenting the information in a non realistic format. Also, If I had been successful, I likely wouldn’t have finished residency and wouldn’t be a doctor with the ability to touch people’s lives in such unique ways.

Abraham thought he would help God and an entire other nation now exist from Abraham via Ishmael rather than one through Isaac.

How many wars would have been avoided?

Wait for GOD!!!

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 287 LIVING SACRIFICE

Therefore, I urge you brothers, in view of God’s Mercy to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God- this is your spiritual act of worship. Romans 12:1

2-27-02
What do you do when you are in the firing line? Perhaps a soldier in war. Or perhaps a resident in the olden days that literally lived in the hospital and thus the name. The danger is getting so callused you don’t feel anymore. I understand it is for survival reasons. But, if you are not careful you won’t be able to help them if you forget to care.

The same can happen in marriage. Perhaps work makes it so your gone so much that your spouse has no choice but to go on living or else go crazy. Or perhaps a loved one with a terminal illness.

Prayer: Lord please show us the balance of guarding our emotions and yet becoming numb. May we really worship You and be the living sacrifice YOU want.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 288 INNOCENCE OF A CHILD

Jesus said,”let the little children come to Me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” Matthew 19:14

2-28-02
What a blessing yesterday watching my niece (Haly) want to go visit an adopted grandparent (Zevilla) of mine who resides in a nursing. She wants to go again today. Haly doesn’t focus on Zevilla’s age or forgetfulness. She just focuses on having fun with her.

The innocence of a child

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 289 MISSING MY FLIGHT

3-2-02
I didn’t make a connection because I was flying standby. I was affronted. How could they not let me on? They had called my name to get on and another guy showed up as they called it who had a ticket. Other ticketed passengers from flights later in the day were leaving earlier filling up the slots. Again, I was upset! But, I met a couple who had been bumped 4* another 3*. I realized I was becomming spoiled by highly overrating my self worth and forgetting the friendship that allowed me to fly on a buddy pass.
What blessings are you forgetting to count?

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 290… FAT DAYS

But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matthew 6:15

3-2-02
Its interesting my waist is at a size 33. I was told not to go beyond it. For the second time ever, this being the most painful, I felt a sense of what it is like to be “fat” and the difficulty it might be to get rid of it. It is interesting how much better we relate with someone when we’ve been in their shoes.

P.S. I’ve gone to a 36 since 1-15-2008

Mad at someone? Have you taken time to make sure you should be?

Dear JESUS

(AW)…

Day 291 GOD CAN PROVIDE!!!

Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. I Peter 5:7

3-4-02
I have a picture of Jesus lifting Peter out of the water as he is sinking in doubt. With so many things: residency, the future, etc- I doubt and sink. It seems I keep sinking a lot. When I pondered this, You reminded me, if needed, since I keep sinking, You can split the water like the red sea and get me that way also.
THANK YOU FOR LOVING ME!!!

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 292 LOVE ELDERS

There is one body and one Spirit- just as you were called to one hope when you were called- one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. Ephesians 4: 4-6

3-4-02
I saw my first instillation of elders at a church yesterday. Lara, my wife, likens it to mariage as far as the ceremony being Holy. Talking bad about the elders is like talking about divorce. It should not be done lightly or better yet not at all.

Lets stay united in Christ Body

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 293 STAND IN THE GAP

“I looked for a man among them who would build up the wall and stand before Me in the gap on behalf of the land so I would not have to destroy it, but I found none. Ezekiel 22:30

3-21-02

Who do you need to stand in the gap for today?

Prayer: God may we stand in the gap for someone today.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 294… MOTIVES.

But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”

3-25-02
God I need insight into how to handle this. My wife’s friend is getting married. I have a few ethical questions. 1. Her husband to be is not a Christian. Do we go to the wedding to be a witness or not go to be a witness? 2. She refused to go to our wedding, be the maid of honor because of her personal beliefs. Yet, now, she will probably want Lara to be in hers with a non -Christian. Is this something we should honor? 3. My wife is now saying she is going to continue holding off getting pregnant because she doesn’t want to be big in the wedding. I feel she’s prioritizing her friend over my child. 4. Am I really still bothered about #2 and this is my chance to get her?

Do you have situations like the above? Are you just not sure what to do? Be careful not to miss God’s Will. Get with your Christian friends or elders and get answers.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 295 SLOW TO CORRECT

My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. James 1:19,20

3-30-02
As a soon to be third year obstetrician and gynecology resident, I am trying to figure out my role. Basically in residency, people are quick to point out the errors one makes. Should I as well? Well, yesterday one of the first year residents didn’t do his job in staying up with a patient or keeping information on our board up to date. I didn’t yell at him etc. Later that day, I discovered he was sick of residency and at times ready to quit. At the end of the day, I walked him out to the car. It was then he brought up his feeling. We talked. He thanked me for encouraging him. Did I pick the correct approach?

P.S. now 4 years later- that intern has graduated and a practicing ob/gyn for a year.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 296 TIP OF THE ICEBERG

Be self -controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prows around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” I Peter 5:8

3-31-02
Sometimes sin can be likened to a wine bottle. Your principle sin is the cork: it consumes you. It may be the only sin you see so you may think I’m not so bad. But, if you can ever get victory over the cork and focus on what is inside you might be surprised to find what other sin lurks within unnoticed.

Dear JESUS

(AW)…

Day 297 RESTORATION

He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then He said, “Write this down, for these Words are trustworthy and true.” Revelation 21:5

4-14-02
I was at a family circle group meeting (small group of church members meet to fellowship) and at the guys house he was restoring a car. I sand blasted one of the car parts and watched the rust blast off. Incredible. The primer had acid. The paint was electrified to stick on while in the bake in oven. When it was said and done, he said the car would be better than what it was brand new. I realize God does this to us: makes us better than new. Realize to do this for a car involves sandblasting, acid, electricity, backing in an oven. Praise God -He did the dying part.

What part of God are you not submitting to Him to “RESTORE and make NEW?”

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 298 NEUTERING A CAT

Then He said to His disciples, “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few, Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into His harvest field.” Matthew 9:37,38

4-17-02
Last night about 25 people were at the “cat” meeting. The retirement home has literally about 25 wild cats living in the bushes on their property. They met and decided they are going to try and spade and neuter and release the cats out there and have a cat colony. The cats also would get their shots and breakaway collars. The beauty is even at this event we met 2 plus new people last night to start relationships with to show them the Love of Christ. Lifestyle evangelism- meeting others where they are at. God literally gives opportunities to talk to people about Him that might never exist otherwise.
What opportunity are you missing under the guise of “religion.”

Dear JESUS

(AW)…

Day 299 ALREADY DEAD

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me. Galatians 2:20

5-13-02
Overwhelmed? Fearful? Anxious? Stressed? Remember the verse above. Being in Christ, we are already dead so we have nothing to lose. Thus we should have no feelings to be hurt.
If one can really comprehend and accept this truth a whole world of opportunities is opened up.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 300 HOW?

“Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” Psalm 46:10

Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s Wrath, for it is written: “It is Mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. Romans 12:19

5-14-02
How do we really be still and know that He is God? Take 30 seconds and think on this. Did many obtrusive thoughts enter your mind? SLOW DOWN!!!!!!!!! That is the point. Whatever is bothering you- slow down and let God take over.

OK so you slowed down and realize He is Gods. Now how do we let Him do the fighting for us? The key is let God fight and instead we should be busy about His Work. See the next verse in Romans 12. Romans 12:20. It says… On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; If he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 301 BREVITY OF LIFE

Why, you don not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. James 4:14

for,”Everyone who calls on the Name of the Lord will be saved.” Romans 10:13

5-16-02
Some times I ponder and realize the brevity of this physical life. If I repeat my current age, I will be about my wife’s dad’s age. If I repeat it again, I would be about the age of the “adopt a grandma” person I used to visit in a nursing home. Thankfully, we have the blessed assurance of eternity with God if we accept Him. How sad those that that give up eternity for monetary pleasures which don’t even saitisfy but make one more thirsty.

Do you have the correct endpoints in mind?

Dear JESUS

(AW)…

Day 302 WASHING GOD’S FEET

“The King will reply,’I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of Mine, you did for Me.’ Matthew 25:40

For I was hungry and you gave Me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave Me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited Me in, I needed clothes and you clothed Me, I was sick and you looked after Me, I was in prison and you came to visit Me.’ Matthew 25:35-36

5-16-02
I remember on my honey moon my wife and I both washed each others feet as a sign of service to one another, devotion and love for the rest of our lives. Each of us had planned to do this for our spouse without realizing the other had planned to do the same.
I think about God and if one day He will let me wash His Feet in Heaven. Perhaps the truth is I do it everytime I am a servant to one God sends me. Perhaps it is when I take care of a patient with cancer or one with a spontaneous miscarriage and show them God’s Love. Perhaps it is when I love my wife or daughter or “brothers” in the Lord.

Don’t wait till Heaven to start washing God’s Feet.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 303 GOD HAS YOUR BACK

You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trust in You. Isaiah 26:3

5-30-02
My heart sank as I lost 2years of patient statistical information stored on my palm pilot. This information is needed for me to graduate. Didn’t God care? What a thing to ask. After all it was my stupidity that caused it. It turns out that I had almost all of it backed up in the residency computer. The whole time it was backed up!!! How many times does God already have the solution we just don’t realize it. The whole time a backup solution already exists.
Do you have a sense of dread and doubt. GOD has your back.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 304 RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR NOSE

Ears that hear and eyes that see- the LORD has made them both. Proverbs 20:12

6-3-02
I informed a worker at Crozer he had a suspicious lesion on his nose/eye junction- Basal cell cancer in appearance. For one year he has had it and no one told him/took the time to see the obvious.
Physical cancer was ignored by all or not recognized. I wonder not only physically but what spiritual needs we could help others with if we would stop and take the time to listen to what God is telling us in any given situation.

Prayer: God use us.

Dear JESUS

(AW)…

Day 305 PIGEON EGGS

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. John 10:10

6-4-02
What an honor. Pigeons had built a nest and had eggs on our seventh story balcony apartment patio. We watched the eggs over some time. I was saddened as both eggs one day were missing. Our best guess is that both eggs died during the storm getting bacterial infections from the water and feces and thus the mom pigeon moved them off of the balcony. I was upset on this. Remember, I had felt honored they had “chosen” our balcony and now this. Now, I am reminded to have even more compassion as ladies “chosen” to be pregnant lose their kids in miscarriages. In all of this, hope prevails of more babies. Even this morning, the male pigeon is building and the mom pigeon with hedgehog hair with the history of strutting is standing on the guard rail. All is possible with God. Have you had dreams die and don’t know why? Faith is realizing God really does have your best interest in mind.
He will have no fear of bad news, his heart is steadfast trusting in the LORD.” Psalm 112:7
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 306

6-15-02 THE HOPELESS SITUATION

So the Philistines fought, and the Israelites were defeated and every man fled to his tent. The slaughter was very great; Israel lost thirty thousand foot soldiers. The ark of God was captured, and Eli’s two sons, Hophni and Phinehas, died. I Samuel 4:10,11

Please take the time to read I Samuel chapters 4 & 5. From the verses above the ark of the Lord’s Covenant- originally the ark of covenant is “captured.” This seems like defeat. But, God has other plans. What happened to the ark? Remember verse 4 But the following morning when they rose, there was Dagon, fallen on his face on the ground before the ark of the LORD! His head and hands had been broken off and were lying on the threshold; only his body remained. 6 The LORD’S Hand was heavey upon the people of Ashdod and its vicinity; He brought devastation upon them and afflicted them with tumors. If you go on to read chapter 6 you will see not only was the ark returned to Israel with a “guilt” offering.

Don’t we think our plans sometimes are futile or hopeless? Remember God can make all bow to Him: Regardless. He loves you. Put on the shield of faith. Why not as you write your letter to Him today tell HIM how you really are doing.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 307 ACTS OF FUTILITY

Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun. Ecclesiastes 2:11

6-16-02
I watched our cat sparky chasing his tail. What vigor he has! But, he just misses his tail as he goes for it. I wonder how many times we chase our own tail- thinking it is an enemy. Or perhaps something good for God. Either way it may be an act of futility. In the end is it really accomplishing anything for GOD?

What tail chasing have you been doing?
Instead, lets harvest for the Kingdom.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 308 THE REAL ADVENTURE

When He saw the crowds, He had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Matthew 9:36

6-19-02
God used Steven Curtis Chapman to sing a song called the great adventure that showed the Christian life and spreading the Truth is “the great adventure.” For me, growing up, I was lost in various fantasy lands (I wasn’t allowing my Shepherd to lead me): dungeon and dragons, astral projection, sexual thoughts, fantasy television shows, or vexing on the past and wanting to change it. God did an incredible thing to me the past few years. I’m not seeking out fantasy worlds in my mind anymore. God has made my reality in HIM much more of an adventure.

Wow
True Healing

My pledge- wherever whenever whatever- in YOU

What adventure are you missing out on?

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 309 WRONG ENDPOINTS? Part 1

What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul? Mark 8:36

7-3-02
A doctor in residency that helped train us had been practicing a good thirty years. He had built a practice that ultimately had many doctors that he sold to a hospital. I met his wife who works where he works 2 days a week. I wonder if she works therre so she can see him. We spoke of residency etc. She said her husband has no memories of his children growing up. He’d leave before they woke up and come home late. He was on call everyday for 18 months and every other day for years.

Is he financially successful in the worlds eyes? Most likely. But, when he is on his death bed will he have regret? Almost assuredly.

Perhaps God is calling you to make some radical changes in your life. As Experiencing God by Blackaby states you don’t want to climb the “ladder” only to find it is leaning against the wrong building.
What changes do you need to make today.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 310 IS IT WORTH IT (Wrong Endpoints- part 2)

What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul? Mark 8:36

7-3-02
This world has many “trophies.” But are they worth it? Lets consider a car. A nice one now days is a good $50,000. The problem is the average salary for an American family is not even $50,000 a year. Thus it would take about 2 years of salary (after interest on the car loan and taxes of ones wages) to buy it. This doesn’t include car insurance or the $50.00 plus a week in gas. Or consider a home for $300,000. The average house in the united states is somewhere around this figure. This will take literally 15 years of someone’s life- 40 plus hours a week just to own this object. Even then there is property tax, utilities, things that break etc.

Consider: Do you own the objects or do your objects own you?.

Prayer: Dad this world has nothing for me. May I not be deceived.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 311 RELATIONSHIP VERSES A RELIGION WITH GOD

Then Saul said to Samuel, “I have sinned. I violated the LORD’S Command and your instructions. I was afraid of the people and so I gave in to them. I Samuel 15:24
“You acted foolishly,”Samuel said.”You have not kept the command the LORD your God gave you; if you had, He would have established your kingdom over Israel for all time. I Samuel 13:13

7-7-02
Beware: I Samuel 15:24 fearing people more than God cost him that day the kingdom- see verse 28
Beware: I Samuel 13:13 not doing things God’s Way but what appeared circumstantially best cost him his kingdom over Israel for all time.

The two problems: fear of man and disobedience. Do you see them in your life? Beware- they cost Saul dearly. REALIZE: a real relationship with God is the key. Knowing He really loves you will make you not fear and want to obey.

Prayer: May I do Your Will Your Way without fear.

Dear Jesus

(AW)

Day 312 EYES TO SEE OPPORTUNITIES OF SERVICE

Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave- Matthew 20:26,27

7-9-02
My big thing recently is shifting my focus off of the “injustices” of residency and putting it back on sharing Christ. The little nuances/ irritations in fact are likely witnessing opportunities. The key is to look for them instead of taking things personal. For instance, I was signed out a consult. The lady had multiple problems including prior trans ischemic attacks (like mini strokes), Breast Cancer with bilateral breast removal and now pelvic pain. Which part of this consult would be easy? Yet it turns out she is a Christian who more than anything physical medicine could provide needed to be reminded God is watching over her and that God sent her a Christian doctor her way. What if I was irritated about the consult? I would’ve missed what God was trying to use me for.
This goes against the logic/wisdom of this world where taking care of self is the number one priority.
Who can you get off your pity party today and serve instead?

Dear JESUS

(AW)…

Day 313 PURITY OF A CHILD

Jesus said,”let the little children come to Me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” Matthew 19:14

I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” Luke 18:17

7-22-02
I can’t remember who said this on the radio but it makes a lot of since. I believe they argued the following: some things are appropriate for adults that are not appropriate for children. This is not true! If its not good for kids being an adult doesn’t make it any better. Grasp this. Any movie you watched lately that you wouldn’t let your child watch? So why did you watch it? Do you really think age makes things more morally correct. Or do you really believe it will not influence you?

Prayer: Please filter all to be Your Will.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 314 SELFISH PRAYER

“This, then, is how you should pray: “‘Oour Father in heaven, hallowed be Your Name, Your kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Matthew 6:9.10

6-6-00
Have you ever been with someone you are trying to honor and serve and all they do is want more and more without regard to your own needs? They want and want and when asked why it is just because. They have no valid reason. The word Selfish comes to mind. I have encountered this person and it has changed how I pray. I realize in my prayer life I can be a lot like this person. I can be always asking without regard to what God wants or in any way trying to show Him I love Him. So my goal, by God’s Help is to drastically change how I pray. God Your Needs please use me to fulfill them and do it gladly.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 315 REAL WORLD EVANGELISM

Then He said to His disciples, “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few, Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into His harvest field.” Matthew 9:37,38

6-8-2000
Lara and I moved from “Bible belt” Texas to Delaware. The need is so vast in Delaware. I turned the t.v. on here and instead of Christian television network, I get a show on gay & lesbian etc. I turn on the radio and instead of 90.9 Christian alternative get some rock sation whose billboards show a young teen sticking her tongue out provocatively with the caption saying are you getting enough. A common saying here is to use God’s Name. Unfortunately It is used in vain!. I know God sent me here. But, this is way beyond me. By God or not at all.
Are you in a place God can truly use you or are you still hiding in a church building?

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 316 IN FELLOWSHIP WITH OTHER BELIEVERS

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is Love. I John 4:7,8

6-10-2000
Good morning from Kent, Connecticut. Whew, I’m here with my dad in law for a mens retreat. I didn’t think I wanted to go but this has been surprisingly pleasant. One guy turned in money he found. Another guy turned in meal tickets he found. It is neat to hear 250 plus men singing. People are telling various clean jokes. The thing is my mind is being renewed. Literally the temptation to sin or think unclean thoughts is decreasing.
GOD- Praise You and Thank You.
The thing is- isn’t the above what church every Sunday is supposed to do for us and any other time we meet in God?

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 317 BEING A LIGHTHOUSE

To the church of God in Corinth, to those sanctified in Christ Jesus and called to be Holy, together with all those everywhere who call on the Name of our Lord Jesus Christ- their Lord and ours: I Corinthians 1:12

6-12-00
The Corinthians are people of Corinth Greece. Take a moment to look up Corinth Greece in Wikipedia on a internet server. This church is located in such a wicked place. Perhaps you noticed in reading on the internet that there were over 1000 temple prostitutes in the temple of aphrodite. Imagine the challanges of being a Christian here. Do you think you might get some ridicule being a Christian there at that time? Yet clearly God wanted a church there.
Where are you being a light in?

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 318 IT IS ALL GOOD

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28

6-13-00
Are you truly a Christian? If so then all things will go well. Do you really ponder this and understand it? If so you will have the correct endpoints. If you have the correct endpoints and understand what our purpose one Earth really is and what God’s plan is then no matter what circumstances- cancer etc you are going through then really life is “good- all is well.” Do you really get this?

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 319 LIFE LESSONS

Therefore, since we have a Great High Priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have One who has been tempted in every way, just as we are- yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. Hebrews 4:14-16

6-16-00
Genesis 46,47 Joseph by being a slave and by being in jail both in Egypt learned the “life lessons” of Egypt in order to integrate his family into Egypt and help save them. If he had not been in Egypt how would he speak the language, know the customs, and be able to be second in command? He even was able to tell them what to say to Pharaoh so they could live in Goshen Genesis 46:34.

Jesus also intervened for us and came in the flesh (“life lessons”) so He could be our Great High Priest – intervening for us in every way including saving us from eternal damnation.

Perhaps you are in a work environment or living in an area you don’t want to be. Perhaps you are learning the “life lessons” in locations or situations you don’t want to be in but, they are necessary to intervene for your family or friends so they can come to know Jesus as Savior and Lord. Is the temporary pain worth it? You better believe it.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 320 ARE YOU PLAYING WITH THE BIG BOYS?

Are they servants of Christ? (I am out of my mind to talk like this.) I am more. I have worked much harder, been in prison more frequently, been flogged more severely, and been exposed to death again and again. Five times I received from the Jews the forty lashes minus one. Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was stoned, three times I was shipwrecked, I spent a night and a day in the open sea, I have often gone without sleep; I have known hunger and thirst and have often gone without food; I have been cold and naked. 2 Corinthians 11:23-25,27

6-24-00
I used to pray God would give me the hardest cases. Surely then I’d be “cool.” How often we pray for that which we do not understand. I certainly wasn’t ready for the hardest cases and my motives were wrong on top of that. I was selfish and only made matters worse in retrospect when given the “hard cases.” What damage I did!!!
How hard can a hard case be? Consider the verses above for Paul. Or consider Hosea having to marry Gomer (the prostitute that kept cheating on him to symbolize how Israel cheats on God) or Ezekiel having to be a watchman. This is incredibly serious business. This is not a chance “to be popular or look good.”

Are your motives right? I hope so because as the saying goes be careful what you pray for- you might get it.

Prayer: Dad I’m starting to realize the seriousness of Your Work. I am realizing that You are supposed to get the attention not me. A soldier is what I am trained. May I not concern myself with civilian affairs.

Dear JESUS

(AW)…

Day 321 WOULD YOU BE MY FRIEND?

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. Luke 6:41,42

6-26-00
Yesterday, I visited a church and a visitor asked me for directions. She was African American. Since I didn’t know I said come on and lets find out. Once inside she sat by me. I bet you can guess what people probably thought: interracial marriage. Well, it made it nice for me to evaluate the church. Several shook our hands at the appropritate time in the service but no one after service asked this lady to lunch. Actually, I can’t recall anyone taking hardly anytime to talk to her. Its sad. She was recovering from an illness and wanted to find a church closer to her home and desperately desired friendship with people closer to her age.
Would You have been her friend?

Prayer: Jesus please send her friends.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 322 DON’T LOOK AT CIRCUMSTANCES

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28

6-28-00
Circumstances: The attending on call with me as a resident said it was the busiest call night he’d seen in twenty four years. The fourth year resident, I think, said it was his worst call night. How did God intervene. One of the doctors and the head nurse told the residency director how busy it was. The residency director was pleased with me. In other words, God took bad circumstances and used them to endear me to people.

What circumstances are you upset about that you need to instead watch for how God will use them for you.

Prayer: Thanks Dad

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 323 LOOKING AT THE STORM?

I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in Me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these because I am going to the Father. John 14:12

6-29-00
God never ceases to Amaze me. One of these days it will hopefully sink in that if things aren’t going as planned, there is probably a witnessing opportunity involved. Yesterday, I went and did a clinic that was supposed to be done by one of the other residents. I was frustrated. But, the very first person I saw, might have chlamydia. The beauty is, I was able to share part of my testimony with her and pray with her.

In a prior devotion I mentioned a similar story. The point, beware of frustrating pharaohs. If you focus on the “storm,” you will miss your opportunity. Peter would not have walked on the water with Jesus if he soley focused on the “Storm.”

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 324 SPOILED ROTTEN?

They traveled from Mount Hor along the route to the Red Sea, to go around Edom. But the people grew impatient on the way; they spoke against God and against Moses, and said, “Why have you brought us up out of Egypt to die in the desert? There is no bread! There is no water! And we detest this miserable food!” Numbers 21:4,5

7-4-00
It seems like the Israelites doubted and complained in the desert every time there was any adversity. I cannot help but think how “childish” they are. Did they not just see the Lord deliver them from Pharoah with the 10 plagues and crossing of the red sea? Were they not slaves and now free? Wouldn’t they have been in the promise land if they had just believed? They are lucky they were not destroyed. Yet, don’t we do the same thing? We are blessed beyond comprehension. We don’t go and use the bathroom in a hole in the ground like the squatters that I saw in Mexico. We have light, food, air conditioning, heating, transportation etc basically on demand. Are we spoiled? Perhaps we are.

Be careful of your complaining or you may find out just how blessed you were when it is all gone.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 325 PROSTITUTING?

“‘But you trusted in your beauty and used your fame to become a prostitute. You lavished your favors on anyone who passed by and your beauty became his. You took some of your garments to make gaudy high places, where you carried on your prostitution. Such things should not happen, nor should they ever occur. You also took the fine jewelry I gave you, the jewelry made of My gold and silver, and you made for yourself male idols and engaged in prostitution with them. And you took your embroidered clothes to put on them, and you offered My oil and incense before them. Also the food I provided for you-the fine flour, olive oil and honey I gave you to eat- you offered as fragrant incense before them. That is what happened, declares the Sovereign LORD. Ezekiel 16:15-19

7-8-00
Are you putting something in your life ahead of God? Perhaps that something is a sportscar or jewelry or another person. Perhaps you are dating someone that literally everyone else is advising you not to date. Whatever it is give that desire to God and “come home” before it destroys you. Please, don’t let sin entangle you. Be self -controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prows around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” I Peter 5:8

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 326 OUR HOPE

On the mountain heights of Israel I will plant It; It will produce branches and bear fruit and become a splendid Cedar. Birds of every kind will nest in it; they will find shelter in the shade of It’s Branches.
Exekial 17:23

7-9-00
The above passage is talking about the Messiah.
Ezekial 17:23 states birds of every kind will nest in it. In other words, all people have the hope of salvation and can if they want accept eternal life. We all have the choice.

What do you choose?

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 327 IMPRESSIONISTIC

To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some. I Corinthians 9:22

7-22-00
Now that I’m in a secular residency program, its hitting me that I have to be more than just a good Christian to be a witness. To really be a witness, I must also be an excellent physician. Why? Well, some of my colleagues have an incredible work ethic and when they see a patient they make more of an impression on them than a lazy Christian will. So when the patients consider which god/God to believe in – which one will they pick?

Realize one cant’ use religion as an excuse to be lazy. If anything they should work that much harder.

Dear JESUS

(AW)…

Day 328 CENTIPEDE

For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 6:23

7-29-00
Sin is like a centipede that bores itself halfway into your foot before you realize its there. You grasp onto it and pull it out with great pain. During this time you are trying desperately to make sure none of it breaks off inside you, expecially since you can feel it moving. To make matters worse you realize hours later it planted eggs inside. You goto the hole the original centipede left and like a pimple pop out one at a time translucent greater than marble size round eggs that you can see a new centipede moving in. Besides being disgusted this should be no problem right? Wrong the problem is You are 27 years old at this point and even if you have only sinned 3* a day (assuming 7 years old as the age of accountability) you now have 20,000 eggs to deal with.

So one can see why on the day of judgement being good is not going to be good enough. Surely the Blood of Jesus is the only cure.

If You don’t have this painful realization of sin, then in the Name of JESUS may your blind eyes be loosed as you read this.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 329 ATTITUDE

As water reflects a face, so a man’s heart reflects the man. Proverbs 27:19

8-4-00
I’ve noticed, if I start comparing how much work others are doing to how much more I am doing, then I get resentful and start saying its not fair. REALIZE this Truth: It is difficult to touch lives and be a witness with this kind of attitude. Instead of comparing, but thinking of the extra work as a chance to learn more and touch more lives, joy is mine. What an honor to get opportunities to share The Truth of Christ with people.
P.S. How much more endearing we are to people when we are helping them not when we are complaining to them.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 330 WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET

9-2-00
Its odd. When I was young, circumstantially, I felt like a much stronger Christian. After all, I was doing all”the right things.” Now, I’m older and feel much less adequate. Circumstantially, I feel I’m not doing near as good a job when it comes to “doing all the right things/show.” But, in my innermost being, I have peace that though circumstances don’t “show it,” I am doing what God wants. It is just I am not in a “show” anymore. I’m real and the talents I’m using for God are for God. My relationship with Him is much deeper and real. To fellow Christians, I may look much worse. But to God, who knows the Truth of all things, I’m a zillion times better.

Are you into “show”business or real Christianity.

Dear JESUS

(AW)…

Day 331 MISSING LOVE

In them is fulfilled the prophecy of Isaiah: “‘You will be ever hearing but never understanding; you will be ever seeing but never perceiving. For this people’s heart has become calloused; they hardly hear with their ears, and they have closed their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them.’ Matthew 13:14,15

9-12-00
I’m frustrated. I am 28 year old, a doctor but in residency and despite loans, I still need my parents to financially help me. If this wasn’t bad enough, whenever they see the car the vacuum it, clean it and fix it. I interpret this as being a failure as I am not able to juggle and keep everything up. Yet my wife explained last night that the car is one of the only ways they know how to show love still. My parents interpret it as, praise Jesus we are still needed. In other words I almost missed there acts of love due to my own low self esteem.
Who is trying to love on you that you keep “elbowing” away? Who do you need to love on? Are you letting God Love on you?

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 332 HOLY VERSES UNHOLY FEAR

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. John 10:10

9-17-00
What is the difference between having a Holy Fear of God and an Unholy fear of God? Isn’t the key difference truly understanding His Love for you. Perhaps it is the difference in having a parent that abuses you and one that loves you. You fear both but one out of respect and one out of dread.
God has our best intentions at heart. Why do we have an ungodly fear of Him? Why when the slightest thing goes wrong do we assume He is going to crush us?
If you suffer with this as I have then reexamine your real relationship with Him. He is not the problem- is the first thing to realize.

Prayer: God please give me a Holy Fear of You not an unholy fear of You.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 333 GOD’S PROVISION

I gave your master’s house to you, and your master’s wives into your arms. I gave you the house of Israel and Judah. And if all this had been too little, I would have given you even more. 2 Samuel 12:8

9-18-00
During Our quiet time, God spoke asking a simple but powerful question. What did I expect Him to do during Our quiet time this morning? Wow/ ouch. Basically was I walking through the motions to be a “good Christian” or did I really believe Him to make a difference?

Today as you prepare to write to God -what do you expect Him to do?

Dear JESUS

(AW)…

Day 334 TAKING A STEP BACK

But the LORD said to Gideon,”There are still too many men. Take them down to the water, and I will sift them for you there. If I say,’This one shall go with you,’ he shall go; but if I say,’This one shall not go with you,’ he shall not go.” Judges 7:4

9-18-00
Perhaps sometimes God doesn’t want to use you for a particular work. For instance, He only wanted 300 of the 32,000 men to be used in giving victory at Jericho (Bible story where the walls came tumbling down) so God would get the Glory. Yes, we are to join God where He is at work. But, understand, He may tell you to stay put and not join Him on a particular task.

What may God be asking you to stay put on or take a step back from?

Also, I wonder if this applies to all the places asking that are asking for money that is supposed to be for God’s Service? Perhaps I am not supposed to give to all of them. Yet aren’t we to give to all who ask of us?
Prayer: God/Dad protect us in understanding what Your True Will is.
I love YOU

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 335 ONE GOD

Remember the former things, those of long ago; I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like Me. Isaiah 46:9

9-19-00
ONE GOD!!! Have you ever just pondered how INCREDIBLE God really IS? WOW.
It truly is mind boggling yet the faith of a child is all we need. He Loves you and wants to be with you. What other religion claims that?

GOD LOVES YOU!!!

Why not take some time today and really stop and think on God. The moment a distraction comes along push it aside and try again.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 336 GOD CARES ABOUT THE DETAILS IN OUR LIVES.

9-24-00
Take extra time today to read about all the details of the temple in Ezekial 40,41,42. This is top notch. Just think how much more detail God has for our lives: His Temple. Still suffering from a low self esteem? You shouldn’t. Ponder this.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 337 DECEIVED?

“But if you turn away and forsake the decrees and commands I have given you and go off to serve other gods and worship them, then I will uproot Israel from My Land, which I have given them, and will reject this temple I have consecrated for My Name. I will make it a byword and an object of ridicule among all peoples. 2 Chronicles 7:19,20

9-29-00
Yesterday the U.S. legalized RU-486 the abortion pill yesterday. It truly is a sad time.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 338 LEARN FROM HISTORY

“You will not surely die,” the serpent said to the woman. “For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it . She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. Genesis 3:4-6

9-30-00
The devil still uses the same temptations as seen in Genesis 3. Let begin by considering the lie that we will be like God. How many world religions think they will become God without God? Seriously start naming them. Mormon, new age, reincarnation (state of Nirvana), satanism, etc.
Or lets take that the temptation was pleasing to the eye: pornography- unleashed especially on the internet. Or the temptation of it will help me gain wisdom. Perhaps this is a fancy way now day to cover the temptation of gossip. Finally lets consider that she gave some to her husband. How much easier a sin or temptation is when we think others are doing it.

WARNING: Learn from history!!!

Dear JESUS

(AW)…

Day 339 YOU CAN BE A CHILD OF GOD!!!

You are to allot it as an inheritance for yourselves and for the aliens who have settled among you and who have children. You are to consider them as native-born Israelites; along with you they are to be allotted an inheritance among the tribes of Israel. Ezekiel 47:22

10-7-00
Do you grasp the verse above? Even in the Old Testament it talks of a time where aliens were able to be considered Israelites. How much more so today. Today through Jesus, we can not only be saved, but be His Kids. WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DO YOU GRASP THIS?

Dear JESUS (THANKYOU, THANKYOU, THANKYOU)

(AW)…

Day 340 FACE TO FACE

Then the LORD came down in a pillar of cloud; He stood at the entrance to the Tent and summoned Aaron and Miriam. When both of them stepped forward, He said, ”Listen to My Words: “When a prophet of the LORD is among you, I reveal Myself to him in visions, I speak to him in dreams. But this is not true of My servant Moses; He is faithful in all My house. With him I speak Face to face, clearly and not in riddles; He sees the Form of the LORD. Why then were you not afraid to speak against My servant Moses?”
Numbers 12:5-8

10-23-00
Wow God and Moses spoke Face to face. Today, God is just as incredible to us. We have the Holy Spirit who speaks with us. Do not underestimate how incredible the new covenant is.

Prayer: Thank You Jesus for a real personal relationship with you. You never cease to Amaze me.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 341 BELIEVING GOD TO INTERVENE

Then the LORD said to Moses, “Now you will see what I will do to Pharaoh: Because of My mighty Hand he will let them go; because of My mighty Hand he will drive them out of his country.” Exodus 6:1

10-25-00
Moses definitely saw some of what God can do.

Do you believe the same truth for your life. Have you claimed… Now you will see what I (GOD) can do?
What is that area in you life you need help with? Why don’t you write HIM about it today. Remember 2 Corinthians 1 :3-5. It states: Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of Compassion and the God of all Comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.

Dear JESUS

(AW)…

Day 342 THE CROSS

“‘But if one person sins unintentionally, he must bring a year-old female goat for a sin offering. The priest is to make atonement before the LORD for the one who erred by sinning unintentionally, and when atonement has been made for him, he will be forgiven. One and the same law applies to everyone who sins unintentionally, whether he is a native-born Israelite or an alien.”’But anyone who sins defiantly, whether native-born or alien, blasphemes the LORD, and that person must be cut off from his people. Numbers 15:27-30

10-26-00
Please read all of numbers 15 and focus on the requirements if one sinned under Mosaic Law and the results. I am reminded how thankful I am for CHRIST dying on the cross for me. How incredible were the requirements. Remember one defiant sin and the persopn is cut off from the people.
I would have been cut off. Yet Jesus paid the price.
Prayer: Thank You Jesus for Loving me.

Realize just how much He loves YOU!!!

Dear JESUS

(AW)…

Day 343 INVESTING FOR THE FUTURE

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

11-23-00
I always wanted to or at least thought it would be so neat to speak a foreign language for mission work. Little did I know that the language would be medicine. It still hard for me to believe studying 1hr is as important as witnessing door to door for 1 hour! This is an investment. I’m excited about the seeds that will soon grow to a harvest beyond what I ask or imagine. I am thankful God protected me from certain money making techniques or from dating certain ladies. It would have destroyed my today.

Update: It is now 4-1-2008. I am now a board certified Ob/Gyn who last week delivered 3 children, performed 2 cesarean sections and had 4 gynecology surgeries, office hours, and call. The point is all those years preparing are allowing me witnessing opportunities and unique opportunities that would not otherwise likely been mine to show people Christ.

As my preacher says- sometimes you need to stop and sharpen your lawn mower blade and in the end you will have cut more lawns.

What do you need to stop, let go of, and let GOD handle today?
Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 344 THE MIRAGE IN THE MIRROR

Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men’s bones and everything unclean. Matthew 23:27
“For God so Loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

11-23-00 and 12-2-00
It ‘s odd circumstantially it doesn’t look lime I’m near the Christian I used to be. But, God and I know the Truth. Our relationship now is more real, deeper, truly in God’s Will than ever before. What am I talking about. I was a sinner of sinner who hid behind “Christian Ways.” I looked good on the outside but not on the inside. Why? My motive was wrong. I did some things for the right reasons, but certainly also for attention. All the while, I delved into the “dark side”- astral projection, telekenesis etc. During this, I halfway believed I could use these “things” for God. But secretly knowing I’d use it for my own glory and hiding behind the excuse of using it to be able to recognize the enemies attacks etc. Even when I wanted to make a deal with the enemy, God grabbed me and still took me the correct path in spite of myself.

Prayer: Dad may I have grace to others as You have for me. May I not forget where I have come. A sinner of sinners.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 345 THE MORNING AFTER ABORTION PILL

Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. Galatians 6:7

Dear Jesus
12-23-00
On devotional day 337 I discussed how sad it was that the U.S. legalized the abortion pill. I refused to prescribe the morning after pill. God kept me strong. I thought what if I don’t give a patient the morning after pill and she goes on to be pregnant and then get an abortion. God showed me a wrong for a wrong is not a right. In other words, a chemical abortion for a mechanical abortion is still murder.

Is there a moral issue you are teetering on? Don’t be deceived the trickery of the evil one no matter how convincing. God will not be mocked.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 346 FRIENDS

A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24

12-26-00
We invited Boris over (a 3rd year internal medicine resident) to celebrate Christmas dinner. Here was our big chance to be a witness to him about JESUS. That opportunity occurred but something more occurred. He became my friend. In helping others we tend to help ourselves. Where does true friendship begin and end? True friends can’t be bought or self made and they don’t end.

PRAYER: GOD YOU ARE AWESOME HOLY WORTHY. Please use us to be the “friend” someone needs today.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 347 TRULY RUNNING THE RACE – IT’S A GOD THING

When I shut up the heavens so that there is no rain, or command locusts to devour the land or send a plague among My People, if My people who are called by My Name, will humble themselves and pray and seek My Face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land. 2 Chronicles 7:13,14

12-29-00
John Midturi and I visited for some time. I am Amazed at how God provided for him as I thought back over the last few years. I remember how John almost left med school. I remember when he wanted to date a non Christian girl. I remember he wasn’t sure what residency to attend after completing medical school. I remember once in residency, he added on to his residency to be medicine and pediatrics. These are major life changing decisions. Yet, he sought God and God always directed him. Now, he is a doctor and second year medicine/ pediatrics resident who is about to marry a fine Christian lady whose parents are missionaries in Africa.

A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you. Psalm 91:7

Update 4-7-2008. John and Sara (his Christian wife) have a child Karis and he is serving God in Malawi, Africa helping people AIDS. He is sponsored via the U.S. through the Baylor Pediatrics AIDS Corps. He went on to get his Masters of public health, medicine pediatrics degree and specialized in internal medicine.

I can do everything through Him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13

What race do you need to keep running?
Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 348 BUILDING UP THE BODY OF CHRIST!!!

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of Compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. 2 Corinthians 1:3-5

1-7-01
I finally got some ministry things done. Lara and I sent out some financial gifts to 7 ministries. Granted its not near the gifts that we used to. But, this isn’t loan money. Its real money we earned. Amen!!! Joy is mine as I think one helped needy children, another media to proclaim the Gospel. Another – a guy who speaks to teens and churches on purity. God used him to change me to think while dating of the goal being not how far I could go and not sin. But, to think on a date how good could I be. The result: all Lara, my wife, and I did 1 ½ years of dating was kiss. God is Amazing. Another was to ships that go to different continents to providing much needed surgeries to outcast of society. Thus, they are not burned or ostracized from their families who think they are cursed. Another, is a Christian radio station providing the Gospel to many in incredible #’s. Another is a teen radio ministry that is developing a teen computer one on one hot line to chat with a Christian for advice 24/7. Because of God allowing me to be apart of HIS work my joy is greatly multiplied. How wonderful it is to tithe. God never ceases to Amaze me.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 349 WANT SUCCESS?

Jesus replied: ” ’Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it:’Love your neighbor as yourself.; All the Law and th Prophets hang on these two commandments.” Matthew 22:37-40

1-7-01
Self help books abound. Bookshelves are filled with them. Even t.v. has them. Infomercials on being wealthy fast, fast, fast. So let me give you my two cents. What should we do for success. I think for success the first thing we should do is God’s Will. The second thing to do to succeed is to invest to make a true change in others lives. What is incredible is as I was saying this to my wife when I realized God told us this all along i.e. the two greatest commandments.
So truly if you want success if you can step outside of all the worldly programming you get daily and think am I doing what God wants and is there someone around me I can help. If you do this you WILL have peace and happiness though your circumstances may be terrible. Remember Matthew 14:31 when Peter starts to sink. Don’t look at circumstances for peace.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 350 JESUS LOVES ME

“For God so Loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

1-16-01
Perhaps one of the most known children songs in the United States is Jesus Loves me. How many people know the words to this song. The problem is they know the words and believe it. But, they just don’t accept Jesus. What do I mean? Many believe in Jesus. Even the demons. Knowing Him doesn’t save us. Accepting Him is what makes the difference in eternity. The faith of a child is what is needed. They just accept.
Again, the key is not just believing in Jesus but knowing Him personally. Do you know HIM? Do you have a relationship with Him? If you died now do you know you are going to heaven?. See Ephesians 2:8-9. Remember this passage clearly shows salvation is not by works.
HE REALLY DOES LOVE YOU!!!

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 351 FORGETTING YOUR BLESSED?

Jesus answered, “I am the Way and the Truth and the Life. No on comes to the Father except through Me.
John 14:6

3-10-01
Yesterday something odd happened. I was ready to leave the hospital at 5pm. But, by the time I signed out to the next resident taking over, it was about 6pm. A friend was going to show me an alternative way home because of a accident on the news blocking the way. The highway from the hospital was moving well so I decided to take the highway instead of doing an alternative. Once on the highway, traffic became a standstill. So I took the Commodore Berry Bridge thinking I could exit off it. It had not exits and forced me to go into New Jersey from Pennsylvania. The problem is I live in Delaware. (All three states merge there.) Once across, a worse problem existed. I didn’t have $3.00 to get back across the bridge. I knew another bridge was ahead so went towards it with the thought I could get money out of a banking machine along the way. Well the bridge was much further away than I realized. In the end, my 10 minute drive home took 1hr and 20 minutes. I was not happy. But, I realized how smooth things have been going for me in residency. God really has been working out the divine timing on everything. Daily, God keeps me on the right path.
Prayer: Dad please spiritually may I stay on the right road and not use my own ideas on the fastest way to get back on it if I get off. Your Blood alone saves.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 352 THE PARALLEL

In addition to al this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Ephesians 6:16

3-12-01
I by Your Grace realized this morning an interesting parallel. My wife is teaching college. She gave a test and was exploring why an answer was wrong. A lady about 35 years old who got the answer correct on the test went ballistic. She yelled, cussed, and left the class in front of the other students. Again, she had the correct answer. You may think and 18 year old who is fresh out of highschool adjusting to college may do this. But, I would not expect a 35 year old especially who had the answer correct. Can You imagine someone doing this cussing etc. to Your spouse? Your probably thinking this is college so my wife should just boot her out of her class.
The problem is this. Don’t we do the same thing to God? Seriously when there is any questionable circumstances- cancer, a boss fires us, or whatever, don’t we go off on God and flee. Realistically, He has the perfect right to boot us out. But, instead He loves us. Remember this next time you want to blame or get mad at God. Put on faith. He will not drop You!

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 353 THE PUMPKIN

In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps. Proverbs 16:9

3-17-01
How does one grow the 1000 pound pumpkin? After studying this, many pumpkins start and are weaned off to allow only one to grow so it can suck up the nutrients. Likewise, it seems this way with life, family, and teenage Christian friends. At first, we grow together. Then it seems we had to go our separate ways. If we had not, we would have never became our own people or had our own ministries in God. Was it easy. No. I fought this for about 5 years. I was excited when people told me they couldn’t believe I still hung around my old friends. Now I understand the error in this. They are still my friends in the since I could call them. But God has sent us on different paths. I love my Christian friends and miss them. But, how many lives including my own would have never been touched if we didn’t allow God to direct our paths. I guess that is why the right marriage partner is critical. God molds you into one and it will destroy ones ministry unless they merge.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 354 DYING TO SELF

Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13

3-19-01
I was reading a James Dobson quiet time article. It asked if we could die for a stranger. Now that I’m married and have a career it concerns me that I am a lot slower to answer that yes than I used to be. I draw hope in realizing the following. In the past, my answer was fast, but, what was I daily really doing to help “strangers” know Christ? Now, I answer slow, but, daily I die to self enduring the residency to serve others as God desires.
In other words, daily, in a sense, I am dying for strangers.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 355 LET YOUR LIGHT SHINE

In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven. Matthew 5:16

3-27-01
I believe God allows are paths to cross with people who really need His Intervention when we are willing to act on His behalf. I remember a consult while I was in residency to the psychiatric ward. The patient was drug dependent on benzodiazepines. She has had an elective abortion in the past. In fact, she basically assaulted a nurse and threw a brick threw the window of the abortion clinic when they wouldn’t give her pain medicine. She was 302 to psychiatry which means admitted by doctors possibly against her will. I went to see her. We talked about Jesus Christ and how Christianity was the only loving religion and how a relationship with God is defferetn than a religion. We discussed a religion is like wanting to date someone (knowledge of the person) and dating actual communication (a relationship). She said her paretnts were protestant and she was wican. She was glad I talked to her like a real person.
Prayer: God thank You for the divine opportunity and me not missitg it secondary to being post call or other excuses.

Watch for who you may need to intervene for today!!!

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 356 ASSUMING

But the LORD said to Samuel,”Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7

4-2-01
I was thinking today about why things have worked out the way they have. In medical school, I didn’t apply to a single ob/gyn program. Why? I listened to the world. It told me my grades were not good enough. Not only that, surely I was supposed to goto a Christian residency program in family practice if I wanted to do medical missionary work. Again, that is the worlds way of thinking or at least a “religious” way of thinking. But was it God’s Way of thinking? Sure enough, in family medicine, my grades didn’t improve. As a matter of fact, they were even worse to were I was put on academic probation. I WAS NOT WERE I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE. What did God do for me. Once I switched to relying on Him instead of doing my “Christian Duties”- or what I ASSUMED was my duty; He put me miraculously in an ob/gyn residency. Again not only impossible but miraculous. (See devotional day 55 in this book.) As far as being in medical missions, my residency is without a doubt just that. So many there need GOD’S Light.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 357 THE BLAME GAME

“For God so Loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

4-3-01
I was talking to a 23 year old female who lost 2 kids in a fire. The Grandmother fell asleep in a grease fire- awoke and her and her cousin tried to put out the flame. They did this rather than getting out and calling 911. Well, the flames became to high. She said she didn’t believe in God anymore. I told her to be careful not to blame God for things that are not God’s fault. I also told her that God let His Son die for us. In other words, God is one of the few that could actually relate to her.

Don’t we do the same thing?

Prayer: God may we not blame You for our sins. Thanks for loving me.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 358 HEARING GOD’S VOICE

But now, why should we die? This great fire will consume us, and we will die if we hear the Voice of the LORD our God any longer. Deuteronomy 5:25

4-19-01
What a tragedy. Did you catch what they said in the verse above? We will die if we hear the Voice of the LORD our God any longer. What in the world were they thinking? They wanted all the benefits of God but didn’t want God. Isn’t the same true today. People want the benefits of God or to be a god but they don’t want to submit to God. The result eternal damnation. Think about this a second. If God created you and knows how to make you happy and feel that void in you that you feel especially after pulling off a very satisfying sin then you can bet He alone can make you eternally at peace/happy. A relationship with Him is truly the only way.
So again early they say,”we will die if we hear the Voice of the LORD our God any longer.” The opposite is true for me and I know for you. We will surely die if we don’t hear God’s Voice.

Prayer: please God give me ears to hear.

Dear Jesus

(AW)

Day 359 DOING THE IMPOSSIBLE: POSSIBLE!!!

Immediately Jesus reached out His Hand and caught Him. “You of little faith,” He said, “why did you doubt?” Matthew 14:31

5-21-01
I shake my head when the Israelites get upset for their deliverance and keep wishing they were back in Egypt. They moan they are going to die. Or how about Peter on the water when he starts to sink. Why?
Yet, this morning with 35 days left of internship left, fear got the best of me with me thinking something was going to happen to keep me from succeeding in residency. I realized I was having that same lack of faith .mentality that the Israelites had. This is pathetic on my part as God literally did a “red sea miracle to get me here.” see day 55 devotional

Prayer: Forgive my lack of faith Jesus ! I do not want to be in the desert 40 years- Shall We goto the promises land. Lets go.

I love YOU!!!

What did you need to reconsider?
Dear JESUS

(AW)…

Day 360 FALSE ANCHORS

“Therefore everyone who hears these Words of Mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the Rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house yet it did not fall because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these Words of Mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.” Matthew 7:24-27

5-27-01
Its interesting as I am better trusting in God to look at some of the “anchors” of security I used to think I could go hide behind. 1. was martial arts 2. was wearing black 3. was wearing a trench coat etc. Now, I’m truly just now realizing that even though they have a hint of security, they actually hold no protection but distract from the True Protector.

What are the false anchors in your life?

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 361 ALL THINGS TO ALL PEOPLE

To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some. 1 Corinthians 9:22

6-2-01
Yesterday I was faced with a somewhat perplexing decision. The fourth year obstetrical and gynecological residents are graduating and the tickets to the occasion are are $50.00 a piece (minimum wage about $5.25) But, the residency is covering one. Ok so be it. But then they stated it is formal. Lara will have to buy a dress and I will need to rent a tux. Ouch so $150-200 that could feed a child for 6 months easily or go to several quality Christian ministries. S so what to do? Well my ministry now is the residency. There are several non Christian residents- and many non Christian doctors who will be there. This also is my chance to show respect to the graduates. This is an incredible witnessing opportunity or is it an act in vanity? Remember to be all things to all people as to win some for the Lord.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 362 BORING?

6-2-01
Until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ. Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. Ephesians 4: 13,14

Faith- Your invited over to dinner by a Christian couple. You think they’ll probably be boring and that You’ll hate the dinner. Well it all turns out to be delicious and wonderfully fun. Why? You prayed, had faith, and did God’s Will – Dad can make the nastiest worm a tasty morsel. His Body must be unified.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 363 MINISTRY- A HEART MATTER

Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13

6-4-01
Yesterday was a good time to help me redefine my ministry in GOD! For instance what good is it to give money to several ministries if my own ministry, given to me by GOD is congested and dysfunctional due to hours of nonchristian tv and the like?
With that in mind, I’m realizing its not a sin to spend money on Our ministry- including ministry of wife!

YES it is not a sin to buy your wife something nice. It comes down to a matter of the heart.

Dear JESUS

(AW)…

Day 364 TREASURE 1- POLITICAL FERVOR

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 7:21

6-5-01
I went with Lara to a Republican regional meeting. The people had so much fervor. Perhaps you’ve seen it on t.v. thousands of people in the room holding up the candidates name waving it around. Perhaps this is only out done at football or other sporting events where people don full body paint and jiggle there bellies for the camera. Why they want to be associated with there team. I only wish that same fervor was directed towards God. Could you imagine? Wait a second- are you saying that then it is no longer cool? Yet, it is for your favorite football team? Really ponder this.

Dear Jesus

(AW)…

Day 365 TREASURE- NO LONGER A MIRAGE.

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 7:21

6-6-01
I can derive from this that I am God’s Treasure. Therefore, GOD’S Heart is with me. Yeah!!!
Do you grasp this? THE GOD OF ALL wants you!!!

You have completed 365 days of a journey with GOD. Surely by now you have been set free to live a truly mind boggling life. Don’t forget YOU ARE THE TREASURE. My prayer is for you.

Dear Jesus

Tags:Bible, Christianity, Devotional, Faith, God, Gospel, Healing, help, Jesus Loves, theology, Witness

Add a Comment

You must be logged in to post a comment.