Talking to Your Children About Sex: Philippians 4:8
Let me begin by saying this should not be a one time talk but an ongoing conversation.
your teen probably has a classmate/ friend/ acquaintance that is currently pregnant or was pregnant… Don’t avoid the elephant in the room.
The following is a talk/ presentation from Christian Board Certified Obstetrician and Gynecologist Doctor Shaun Jester used with permission and slightly edited. May it strengthen you to talk to your children, grandchildren, niece, nephew, or youth at church and the like.
Sex Talk 2014
Sexual Purity- sex is a form of worship
Memory Verse Philippians 4:8
INTRODUCTION
Would you want a wife or husband that has been with 10 people, flashbacks, diseases or someone that’s never kissed so the whole thing is new- nothing to compare it to.
Basic statistics and being Groomed
Pennsylvania State Police Statistics 1 in 4 and 1 in 6 boys will be sexually assaulted by age 18 (Finkelhor, et al.,1990)
Grade 9 (34.3% have had by grade 12- (63% have had)- CDC
http://www.teenpregnancy.org/resources/data/pdf/TeenSexActivityOnePagerJune06.pdf
In 1990 basically 1:10 women between 15-19 had been pregnant.
http://www.teenpregnancy.org/resources/data/prates.asp
Groomed- hairy legs for girls or shaving pubic hair is a U.S. phenomenon. You’ve been taught to believe and do it whereas in germany and Sweden they don’t. What else has t.v. taught you that you think is fact but in fact is being groomed (like a child predator does)
Preconceived Notions
1. How many animals of each species did Moses take with him on the Ark? (PedagoNet_
did you say 2. It is zero Noah not Moses was on the Ark
2. You have two U.S. coins that equal thirty cents. One of them is not a nickel! What coins would you have?
Answer: a quarter and a nickel. I said one of them is not a nickel.
3.A Father and Son were in a car wreck and the Father was killed instantly! The son was taken to the local hospital. The attending Doctor said ”I can’t operate on this child he is my Son/”
Http://www.terraworld.net/sswart/page3.html
The surgeon is his mother. Did you assume it was the father?
My point is assumptions based on preconceived thoughts can get you into a world of trouble. The t.v. movies, music etc tells you what sex is but lets see if we can get a definition.
DEFINITION OF SEX- draw pictures penis, vagina, then inside of uterus ovaries tube
So what is your definition of sex?
Consider the following definitions?
Dry sex – if one rubs their genitals through ones clothes
Oral sex- if one places there mouth to their partners penis or clitoris
Self sex- rubbing their own genitals by hand or with an object
Non friction sex- if the penis is in the vagina but does not move
Anal sex- if the penis is in the rectum/ anus
Vaginal sex- if the penis is in the vagina
What is the key word in each of these definitions? Sex. Exactly, sex.
Take a minute and let that sink in. If you thought sex was only vaginal sex- then guess again.
Do you need more proof?
Ask yourself these questions: If a person can get pregnant from it, then surely that counts as sex, right?
Can a pregnancy accidently occur with dry sex , anal sex, non friction sex or vaginal sex?-
The answer is yes to all.
If a sexually transmitted disease is sexually transmitted, then by definition, if you get a disease doing one of the above then you must be having sex.
So, can you spread HIV, Herpes and other diseases with any of the above forms of sex?
Absolutely
Even with self sex, you can spread herpes from one part of your body to another.
Did I mention no man can cure HIV or Herpes
Did I mention birth Control pills will not stop the spread of STD and may fail and get pregnant
Per the center for disease control: typical failure rate during the first year of use was 8% for oral contraceptives, 15% for male condoms, and 26% for periodic abstinence. In comparison, persons who always abstain will have a zero failure rate (http://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/preview/mmwrhtml/00021321.htm)
Non physical sex- in your mind- physical or non physical outside of marriage is called sin and is known as lust…
Sexting- photos or talking about it (catch what is in the name- sex)
Pornography- looking at images
CLOSER Look at the Diseases
Which ones do you know? What person do you know that has them?
PENN STATE ALTOONA HEALTH AND WELLNESS CENTER
Human Papilloma Virus- warts on your genitals. What lady will want you with that? Unfortunately the disease is 28-46% of women under age 25. It can cause cervical cancer. My girlfriend had Gardasil. Still 96 different kinds left. Oral transmitted or even skin to skin- i.e. fondling. Not curable
Hepatitis B, can be oral, kissing or other intimate contact- 100 times more infectious than HIV Many ultimately are fine but could destroy your liver. Must have liver to live. i.e. cirrhosis- from alcohol
Hepatitis C mainly iv drug use but can be with sex. Can’t cure can go on to liver failure or liver cancer.
Syphilis ulcer can be on genitals, mouth anus, breast, fingers- ultimately mental illness, heart disease and blindness. Definitely can be by oral sex. Is curable
Trichomoniasis- in residency it was trichomoniasis until proven otherwise. Parasite with a tail we can see swimming under the microscope. Can be spread oral sex. Curable.
Gonorrhea men may not have symptoms but could burn when pee or bowel movement or a thick white or yellow penile discharge. Can cause arthritis of a joint. Blindness in a baby- thats why put antibiotic
Chlamydia 10-29% of teenage women. Be careful who you date. Not always but men this can cause burning when you pee and mild discomfort of your penis. Cause lady PID and infertility. (can be orally transmitted)
HIV- virus that attacks immune system so can’t fight off basic infections- get terrible sicknesses. YES YOU CAN GET IT WITH ORAL SEX!!!
Herpes type 2 after age 12 in sexually active 1 in 5. Can’t cure. Painful blisters on your penis or other locations. Orally transmitted. Visible outbreak not necessary to spread. Even if married can spread from mouth to vagina.
Guess what the viral ones are permanent. Still think it is not a problem in our area.
How about the patient with presumed chlamydia? She was treated and ultimately found to have hepatitis C and herpes. Can I get rid of her hepatitis C? NO
But I can date them and change them… Really? Consider the following
A patient 12 years old is raped, conceives and has an abortion. She has another abortion at age 14. By 18, she is homeless, pregnant and has documented chlamydia and genital warts. Look again at these ages.
Better yet, Imagine if you were the guy involved with these two ladies. You may respond, “It would never happen.” Really, what about when you are dating only to find out months and years later she has had an abortion or has a disease or has a baby. By then you are already so involved, rather than save them you get destroyed instead!!!
No grey zones
So how far is to far before marriage?
You see when your goal is how far is to far, you keep pushing the envelope. The better question is how good can I be- Jay Cartey
Remember the Verse you memorized Philippians 4:8 apply it to sexting, to masturbation, to pornography can you do it. You see they are not grey zones- not mentioned in the Bible.
Why focus on purity instead? Because, this leads to restoration of self worth and respect as well as protecting the integrity of your relationship with your future spouse.
At this point a question may be is sex ever not wrong? The great news is YES. Once you are married, sex with your spouse is a beautiful gift from God to be cherished and enjoyed. Imagine how strong your marriage will be if sex was saved and is shared solely between the two of you?
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Philippians 4:8 NIV
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure… part of Hebrews 13:4 NIV
Sex abuse – not your fault
Never To Late – Secondary Virginity
Jester- its too late- I have a disease, I’ve made a girl pregnant, I’ve lost my virginity, I am addicted to masturbation— it is not to late. In fact, by going this direction instead, will show your spouse how much you love, honor and respect them, perhaps even before you ever met them.
He who has freed you has made you free in deed John 8:36
Also see philippians 3:13-14
For further study Hebrews 4:15-16 and Titus 2:11-14